The Ones That Never Happened
by Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: A collection of Drakken/Shego one-shots. Also contains some Kim/Ron. Latest one-shot: Well, it had to come up sooner or later...right? Pre-Odds Man In, season four. Adult subjects, but hardly detailed enough for an M-rating.
1. Riverside Fun

**Riverside Fun**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Kim is torturing Shego in the worst Possible way. Post-Graduation. Humour/Romance. Very mild adult content warning. K/R and D/S. _

* * *

Warmonga: She is the blue impostor's battle mate.__  
Shego: Whoa, time out! Yeah, the two teens are a thing, but there is __**nothing**__ going on with me and Dr. D!__  
Kim: __**Nothing?**  
__Shego: __**Nothing!**  
Warmonga: Then why were you so threatened by my arrival?__  
Shego: I dunno— maybe 'cause you're __**nine feet tall!**_  
_Warhok: Denial. It's more than just a river on the planet that we now control._

_Drakken and Ron zoom past__ with an out-of-control jetpack._

_Shego: Come on, we better go help. _  
_Kim: See? You __**do**__ care!  
__Shego: Ugh!_

_**Kim Possible,**__ Graduation, Part 2._

* * *

_Typical Ron_, Kim thought. They'd been on the plane for all of four minutes, and he was already dozing off on her shoulder, Rufus sleeping soundly in his pocket.

Of course, she wasn't exactly going to complain. The more casual they got when it came to intimacy, the better, and this particular thing was making her feel all nice and fuzzy inside. His head felt warm, his soft, blond hair was brushing against her neck and his breath was tickling the skin of her arm.

It also felt very reassuring yet somehow just a little overwhelming that this was a thing he would do now, in a natural kind of way. Every day, he was getting less and less nervous about touching her, and every day he would surprise her with the little things he did, like kissing her mouth more often than her cheek now— and it didn't feel like a friend, not at all. Sometimes he'd even kiss her neck, and it would give her shivers down her spine.

A year or two ago, she'd thought the only way Ron Stoppable would ever give her shivers down her spine would be if he pulled the old 'See Food' trick on an unsuspecting kid for the umpteenth time since kindergarten.

Now, whenever he was being childish in front of children, he couldn't help but think how good he was with kids. And it kind of scared her how her way of thinking about him had changed...and yet it felt safe, in a way. Like she'd been promised a future where she would never be alone.

Now she definitely wouldn't be alone, though; she sighed heavily as she remembered that she and Ron would be sharing the flight. And not just with anybody, either.

_And speak of the devil_, she thought, groaning a little as the two last passengers boarded the plane, a string of annoyed chatter following them as they shouldered through the entrance, their carryon luggage thumping against the seats as they walked, which they were not even noticing as they were too busy arguing.

"This was a stupid idea, Dr. D." Shego said unwaveringly, as if there was no debate about it.

Drakken _certainly_ seemed to think there was something to talk about, however, as he drew a deep, pre-lecture kind of breath. "We get a free plane ride and we _do_ get paid for this interview, Shego! Fuel for the hover car doesn't grow on trees, you know!"

_Oh, boy, _Kim thought. Maybe offering to share a plane to the TV interview they'd all be attending tomorrow— the whole world wanted to know the details of the tale of their saviours, and not just in magazines or papers— hadn't been such a hot idea, after all. Kim had only done it since they had after all helped save the world, and because her father had hinted very strongly that perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea to show a little goodwill towards Drakken and Shego so they might feel less inclined to take up the world domination kind of villainy again. It was clear to Kim that her dad was probably still feeling a little guilty over the part he'd played in making Drew Lipsky what he was today.

Besides, they were still having the Possible house built anew, and didn't want it to be destroyed again so soon by giant robots or something. Ron's parents had been kind enough to let them stay at the Stoppable house, but with nine people living there now, it was pretty cramped, and everybody was eager to have their living conditions back to normal.

"Ugh, you're such a cheapskate." Shego sighed in disgust.

"Oh, stop complaining!" Drakken chided, starting to sound fed up. "It's only three hours, anyway!"

Shego sent him a dark look. "You just want more publicity and attention."

"I didn't hear you object when Cosmo put you on the cover in that fancy dress."He pointed out in a self-satisfied kind of tone.

"Hey, I can't help it if they have good taste." She said, tossing her hair; Kim couldn't help but think that Shego looked like she was preening but trying to seem nonchalant about it. "Besides, I got paid for that, too."

"Oh, you like the attention, you know you do."Drakken coaxed, sounding partly annoyed and partly amused. "Every member of the press wants a piece of the so-called heroine-turned-villainess-turned-heroine-again."

"Maybe because it's the only attention I get."Shego muttered, looking away. "You're always too busy ranting about yourself to even listen to me."

_Whoa,_ Kim thought. Her eyebrows were some place up at her hairline as she watched the unfolding conversation. Now this was just...different. She'd never really heard Drakken and Shego talk about anything but their evil intentions to take over the world. She'd never heard them quite this personal or private, and that last comment from Shego sounded almost...intimate.

Suddenly, Drakken seemed a little upset. "That's not true! If you want attention, you can just ask for it!"

"When?" Shego spat."You hardly even stop for breath nowadays, you're so excited about yourself!"

"Well, is it any wonder? You know how long I've waited to be recognized for my genius!" Drakken exclaimed defensively.

"Oh, great. The genius spiel again."

"Have some understanding, Shego!" Drakken chided; yet there was a strangely pleading note in his voice. "You know what this means to me! You should be happy for me!"

"I'm just tired of listening to you rave about it." Shego mumbled dismissively. "I got it already."

There was a moment of silence as Shego found a seat and sat down.

Drakken didn't join her by taking the seat she'd left open. "You know, I thought I would share this with you."

Shego didn't answer, and Kim heard Drakken sigh.

"I thought I'd be sharing it with you when I— no, when _we_ were victorious." His voice softened. "I couldn't have done this without you, you know."

"Damn straight you couldn't have." Shego said firmly.

"I'm trying to be _serious_ here, Shego!"

"Dr. D, this is _so_ not the time for—"

"NACOS! It's BLUEBERRY NACOS! It's so _sick_ and _wrong_!"

Kim froze as she realized that Ron was sleep talking; or more like sleep _screaming_. Blushing as the two villains were alerted to her and her boyfriend's presence, she cringed down in the seat, shaking Ron's arm to wake him up.

"Ron!" She hissed, finally managing to get him up. Ron yawned as he popped his head up over the seat— that boy just got taller every day, it seemed— peering blearily at the two new arrivals.

"Oh, um...hello," he greeted as he yawned again, waving vaguely at them.

"Oooh, look who's here already!" Shego said with falsely sugary tones. "Miss Priss and Monkey Man."

"Shego," Drakken whispered in that _non-quiet_ kind of way that certain people without a single surreptitious bone in their bodies used, "do we have to make this flight even more awkward than it has to be?"

A quirky smile worked its way across Shego's lips. "Well, Doc, if you're offering to keep me entertained instead, I'm sure we can work something out..."

Drakken looked at her suspiciously. "What's that supposed to mean...?"

"Oh, don't worry, people, the Ron Man's got enough entertainment for everybody!" Ron enthused as he got up from his seat.

"Uh, no offence, junior, but if my choices are between being entertained by you or the Doc here, I'll take my chances with him." Shego said flatly. "I've seen you drop your pants enough times already, anyway."

Ron turned slightly green. "Ugh, wrongsick."

"Very funny joke, Shego!" Drakken barked, his blue face going faintly red.

"Hey, maybe it wasn't that hilarious, but at least I'm_ try__ing _to keep from dying out of sheer boredom." Shego rolled her eyes, shrugging. "I can already tell this flight is gonna be about as fun as a barrel of monkeys."

"No monkeys!" Ron blurted.

"Ron, I thought you were _over_ that by now!" Kim cringed slightly; things like that were okay when they were alone, but not in front of people like Drakken— and especially Shego.

Ron cracked a brief, embarrassed grin. "I am, it's just, you know...a reflex reaction."

Kim sighed and smiled a little. "You'll get it out of your system eventually."

Ron smiled back at her. "Thanks, KP."

"If you two lovebirds are just about done...you were saying something about entertainment?" Shego commented with an impatient and somewhat condescending sigh.

"Well," Ron said, either not caring about or not noticing Shego's mocking, "I think we still have some movies lying around here from the last time we were on this plane. You know, Japan, long flight, nothing to do, yadda yadda."

"Oh, great, now I'll be stuck watching Happy Bunny Adventures or something for three hours." Shego gave a heart-felt groan. "Why did I have to forget my magazines at home?"

"Oh...uh, Shego?" Drakken said as he started rummaging around in his bag.

"What?"

"Here," he grinned as he held out a stack of magazines to her. "I saw them on the living room table just as we were about to leave, so I grabbed them."

Kim waited for the sarcastic comment, but there was none.

In fact, Shego sounded...particularly _un-Shegoish_ when she answered.

"Really?" Her voice sounded...less harsh. There just wasn't that edge to it anymore; it sounded soft, a little befuddled and even pleased. "I mean, great, I mean...thanks, Dr. D."

Drakken smiled. "No problem."

Kim blinked in surprise. From what Shego had said earlier, Kim could gather that what she seemed to want was from Drakken was for him to consider her more often, give her more attention...and as she thought about it, Kim could imagine that someone like Drakken wasn't too good at that. He always seemed too preoccupied and scatterbrained and full of evil ambition to take notice. So even something little, like him actually thinking of her and bringing those magazines, probably touched Shego a lot more than any amount of money could. It sounded sappy— or simply _human_— and not like the Shego she knew at all, but there it was, and all evidence pointed towards it.

This could get interesting, Kim thought. Or it could turn into the most awkweird flight in history.

"Let's see, movies, movies, movies..." Ron mumbled as he looked for the DVDs they'd left here the last time. "We have...uh oh."

"What?" Kim asked, leaning forward as she was pulled from her reverie. "Nothing good?"

Ron grimaced. "I think these are from the time we brought Jim and Tim. We have a choice between _Hercules _and a documentary about engine malfunctions in air planes."

Kim's expression matched Ron's, but with an added touch of that special brand of big sister exasperation. "Ugh, the tweebs have _such_ a rotten sense of humour!"

Ron shuddered. "Yeah, some little important dohickey going ker-ploink in the engine while we're at 30, 000 feet isn't exactly what I wanna think about right now."

"No worries, I brought my new super compact parachutes in my suitcase. Just in case, you know." Drakken said unexpectedly.

Ron and Kim stared at him.

"Really?" Ron said in a slow, skeptical tone."That's kind of...um, thoughtful of you."

"I brought parachutes for _me and Shego_, I mean," Drakken added cheerfully with a positively _nasty_ grin.

Behind him, Shego snorted, trying to suppress an evil chuckle.

"Thanks a lot." Ron muttered. "We have our own."

Kim sighed. "Okay, so I guess it's gonna be _Hercules_ unless somebody wants to start a game of charades. No? Yeah, didn't think so," Kim said brightly as she plucked the DVD from Ron's hand and loaded the movie. She'd be so grateful when this trip was over. She was definitely making up some excuse to stay there for a few more days so they didn't have to share a plane on the way back.

"Hercules? As in 'the greatest hero ever' etcetera?" Drakken wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ugh, no more heroism! I'm going to go and ask the pilot if I can steer the plane."

Ron brightened. "Oooh, hey, I wanna try that, too!"

"I said it first!" Drakken insisted.

"Hey, ever heard of sharing?" Ron objected. "It's not even your plane!"

"It's not yours, either! And villains don't share!"Drakken scowled.

"Hey, we're only here at all because Kim and me called in a favour! I know the owner!"

"I don't _care_!"

Kim and Shego sighed and rolled their eyes in unison as they watched the boys run off, elbowing each other and bickering.

* * *

It only took about three minutes before Shego got impatient.

"Why are we even _watching_ this?"

"You don't have to watch it, you know." Kim said, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. "Just stick to your magazines."

There was a pause.

"We all know what's gonna happen. The actually _interesting_ people are gonna lose because they're villains, Blond Jock Junior's gonna win, and the femme fatale is gonna turn out to be a giggling goody goody who just wants to be loved beneath her tough exterior." As she was ranting, Shego got up from her seat, strolled towards Kim and finally plopped absentmindedly into a seat opposite from her, magazines and all. "Hades gets punished and Hero Boy and Miss Attitude are gonna be all with the big self-sacrifice and tear-jerking scenes."

It seemed that for some reason, Shego wanted to talk.

Kim lifted an eyebrow. "You've seen this before?"

Shego shrugged. "I had to take my annoying little brothers to see it when it first came out back in ninety-seven, and even if I hadn't, it's not exactly hard to guess the outcome of this flick. You, on the other hand, probably went with your daddy and mommy, right?"

Kim smirked. "Well, some of us are still young."

Shego didn't take the bait, only looking unimpressed. "Some of us are actually old enough to vote and drink."

Kim frowned. "I can vote."

"Yeah, just _barely_." Shego snorted. "You'll have to wait until next year, anyway."

"Oh, and as _if _you voted the last time." Kim commented dryly. "You're a villain bent on ruling the world, what do you care who's president?"

"The point is that I _could_ if I'd wanted to, not if I did it or not." Shego retorted. "Besides," here she gave a delicate little cough, "I think we're out of the world domination business for now."

"Really?" Kim asked in a flat, disbelieving tone.

Shego looked down, flipping idly through her magazine. "Yeah, you know, we just saved it and all. Dr. D thinks we should...rethink our motives."

Kim clucked her tongue. "Oh, I see. And wherever Drakken goes, you'll follow, right?"

Again, Shego looked unmoved. "I work for him. I have to follow him around if I wanna keep my job. Villainy is a very mobile, flexible business. It has to be, for obvious reasons. As long as he pays my salary, why should I care? At least it keeps the job from getting boring. I'm sure you wouldn't argue with your employer at your measly little Bueno Nacho or Club Banana job."

"Whatever you say." Kim sighed, turning her attention back to the movie. Shego shrugged again and continued reading her magazines.

Five minutes later, Kim heard Shego give a derisive chuckle, and realized with a certain amount of humiliation that she'd actually been giggling at the screen.

"Aww, somebody thinks the hero boy's a cutie, don't they?" Shego cooed patronizingly.

"Hmmphh," Kim scoffed. "Well, he's all beefy. Should be your type, anyway."

"Oh, please. He's a dorky little teenager. Doesn't matter if he has the beef." Shego gestured with the magazine in her hand. "There's no substance, no weight to him, no style, no depth, no sense of humour, no craziness, no...dark side."

Kim's eyebrow rose in challenge. "Oh, so you'd prefer Hades?"

"Anything is better than _this_ goofball!" Shego said, making a face. "This other guy has the looks_ and_ the substance."

"Looks?" Kim wrinkled her nose. "Well, he's built, I'll give you that, but he looks like some kinda evil, snakey, sharp-toothed—"

Shego gave Kim a look as if the younger woman didn't have the first clue about anything. "I don't go for the wholesome farm boy innocence, Princess. I need something more interesting."

Kim scowled at her. "Nothing wrong with looking sweet and innocent as long as they actually _are_. I _like_ my men nice and decent and honest. Somebody I can trust."

"You mean nice and _boring_?"

Kim raised both eyebrows in an incredulous look. "Trust me— if it's one thing Ron _isn't_, it's boring! I _never_ have a boring moment when he's around."

Shego leaned back, smirking at her over her magazine. "Well, _s__ome_ of us have higher standards of what's entertaining than watching our boyfriends have junk food eating contests with their hairless rodent pets."

Kim felt herself flush, but held her chin high. "Ron's a good boyfriend. It's about caring about each other, not about 'being entertained', and even if it was, he's more than entertaining enough! We're always busy!"

"Oh, _really_?" Shego leered at her. "Keeping you 'busy' now, is he? Do mama and papa Possible know about this?"

Again, Kim tried very hard not to flush, but failed. "It's none of your business what we are and aren't doing!"

"Aww! I'm _hurt_, Kimmie!" Shego gave a jarringly fake pout. "We're pals here, aren't we? You can tell good old auntie Shego if Naco Boy rocks your world or not!"

Kim turned wide, shocked eyes towards Shego before her expression was replaced by a severe frown. "Shego! You— you just have _no class_!"

Shego feigned innocence as she shrugged. "As I thought. You two kids probably haven't even gotten to second base yet."

Kim fumed as she glared at the older woman. "Does it really _matter_?" She asked through gritted teeth.

Shego stifled a yawn. "Don't worry, your pent-up little teenage hormones will get you there soon enough."

"You know, you're talking about a guy I've known since kindergarten. We used to be best friends, and we still are. This is very special to us," Kim said, even if she knew that it was a stupid thing to say, and that it would only give Shego more reasons to mock her 'weaknesses'. She didn't care; she just wanted to defend her boyfriend and be honest about it, and maybe some of her words would pierce through Shego's thick, cynical hide even if she'd never admit it.

"Hey, if you wanna save yourself for marriage, that's fine." Shego said carelessly, her attention on what seemed to be the latest issue of _Villainess_. "Just hope you're not gonna wait around for your sidekick to pop the question— then you'll _never_ get laid."

"It's not about 'getting laid', but I'm sure you'll never understand that." Kim's brows knitted as she glowered at the older woman's rudeness. "And for your information, I wasn't going to wait until we're married or some _other_ _set time_, I was going to wait until we both feel like we're _ready_, whenever that will be. And if it just happens to be after we're married, that's fine, too. I have lots of time."

"Gasp, is that a hint of rebellion I hear?" Shego teased in an irritatingly bright voice. "What will your parents say?"

"Fine, be crude." Kim muttered. "It's no wonder you're still single."

There was a brief glare from Shego before her features relaxed once more. "Just because I don't wanna be tied down at eighteen like a good little girl doesn't mean I'll end up an old maid."

"Yeah, right." Kim huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "You're mocking _me_ for not getting past second base, but _you _can't even get your head out of the sand and get to _first_ base with _Drakken_!"

Kim had never seen Shego blush before, but she was seeing it now, and it looked totally weird. Her face went a strange shade of pale red and green, her mouth became a tight, defiant line and her eyes went big and almost scared for a second before they narrowed with contempt.

Oh, yes, Kim had hit the bull's eye there. Shego was all bluster; either too nervous or most likely too stubborn to do something about her own love life, so she had to give Kim a hard time about hers.

"You're still not gonna let that go?" Shego almost hissed. "You think you're being _clever_ now? I _told_ you there's _nothing_ going on between—"

Kim shifted languidly in her seat, getting more comfortable as she saw that she was finally starting to gain the upper hand. "Yeah, see...I _get_ why you like Hades."

"Oh, jeez, you think I can't see where this is going?" Shego groaned. "You should quit trying to be sneaky, Kimmie. Your brain's gonna overload any second now."

Kim tilted her chin up. "You _know_ why you like that character better than the 'farm boy'."

"Doy, he's evil, he's older, he's—"

"Blue?" Kim interrupted, not even bothering to hide her smugness.

Shego's eyes narrowed. "You think you're funny, don't you?"

Kim grinned lopsidedly. "A little bit, maybe."

"Oy, and now she's going for comedy...!" Shego grunted in exasperation. "This is gonna be one _long_ flight. Unless I 'accidentally' let you off without a parachute, of course."

"You know, Shego," Kim said almost casually, ignoring her idle threat, "Everybody has a weakness, so I knew I'd find yours one day."

Shego scoffed and looked out the window. "Yeah, right. Good luck."

"We all do, and I knew I'd find yours one day," Kim repeated in a deliberately slow voice, again as if Shego had never even spoken. "I just never figured it would be _Drakken_!"

Kim heard an odd and rather ominous noise, and realized it was the unpleasant sound of teeth grinding together. That was her last thought before Shego suddenly lunged at her, fingers curled into claws, and a growl in her throat.

Before she knew what was happening, Kim was dragged out of her seat by her hair and knocked flat on her back. Somehow, though, Shego's flustered, angry face and violent behaviour only made her laugh.

Shego thought she was _so_ blasé and uncaring and mysterious, but Kim had finally been able to see right through her! And Shego hated it! _That_ was her weakness! She couldn't stand to have people see that she felt affectionate towards somebody— and _especially_ not towards Drakken!

When Shego clocked her on the jaw, Kim found herself just laughing harder. Oh boy, this woman had _issues_! She almost felt _sorry_ for her! Of course, that didn't stop her from teasing her further.

"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling," Kim sang in a breathy, sugary voice, making fun of her arch foe as she rolled them around, holding her down. "Baby, we're not buying! Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling!" She panted, talk-singing as Shego struggled, her face frozen in a terrible, angered grimace as she snarled up at the younger woman.

Kim only laughed again as Shego rolled them back around and pinned her to the floor, slapping her face. Yep, Shego had a big weakness indeed, and now Kim was finally getting Shego back for all the cracks she'd made about her outfits, her looks and her Ron all these years. "Face it like a grown-up!" Kim sang, trying to imitate the singers from the movie, but not really caring how well she was doing it as long as she was annoying Shego. "When ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad!"

"Shut up!" Shego barked before she punched Kim right in the eye.

"Oww!" Kim howled, clutching her face. It seemed as if she'd gone too far. Drawing a deep breath, she kicked out with her legs, throwing the other woman off of her.

Walking somewhat unsteadily to her seat, Kim couldn't help but laugh again as she saw Shego glaring at her from the floor. "Fine, have it your way. So you don't _like_-like Drakken," she said, sighing.

"Glad you realize it," Shego muttered as she picked herself up from the floor.

"You _love_ him," Kim added, showing a wide, split pumpkin grin.

Shego roared with outrage as she charged at her teenage foe, fists cocked—

"Hey, what's going on out here, KP?"

"Yes, what's all this _noise_ about, Shego?

Shego froze in the aisle, lowering her arms. Suddenly, she looked completely cool and composed. "Me and the cheerleader here were just having a small disagreement."

"Yeah, I was just saying how _sad_ it is when some people are living in complete denial, that's all." Kim said brightly.

"And I was just saying how _annoying_ it is for some people when they have to deal with some teeny bopper's romantic delusions." Shego's voice was strained.

"Kim! You're hurt!" Ron exclaimed then, and Kim realized that she was probably developing a juicy black eye. At Ron's distressed voice, Rufus woke up and popped his little head out of Ron's pocket, looking concerned.

"No big, I've had worse." Kim shrugged, but couldn't help basking in the attention when Ron hurried over and sat her down, patted her hand and kissed her better before rushing to get her some ice for her eye, glaring at Shego as he passed her. Kim tried not to giggle when he stuck out his tongue at Shego behind her back when she couldn't see.

Clearing her throat in an irritated kind of way, Shego snatched up her magazine and went to sit at the front of the plane, many seats away from Kim.

Drakken hovered uncertainly in the aisle for a second or two before he frowned at Kim, who only shrugged innocently. Giving a suspicious grunt, Drakken turned and walked away, elbowing past Ron, who was coming back with a small towel full of ice for her eye. Kim smiled gratefully at him as he applied it, but couldn't turn her good eye away from the scene before her.

Kim saw Drakken walk tentatively up to Shego, murmuring something Kim couldn't hear. She couldn't hear Shego's mumbled response, either, but could tell that it was dismissive. Even so, Drakken started asking her a millions questions and fussing over her in a way that Kim couldn't remember having ever seen him do before. Shego sounded mildly annoyed, but for some reason she put up with it. When Drakken seemed satisfied that she was all right, he leaned down in a conspiratorial kind of way, squeezing her shoulder.

"By the way, that was_ e__xcellent_, Shego!" Drakken exclaimed in a giddy half-whisper, giving Shego an approving thumbs up as he looked at her admiringly, probably thinking he was being all secretive and they couldn't hear him.

Kim smirked; it seemed that even though he'd just saved the world, Dr. Drakken still held a grudge over Team Possible, and couldn't help feeling some evil satisfaction at the sight of his partner-in-crime beating up his arch foe. It didn't surprise her at all; old habits died hard, apparently.

What _did _kind of surprise her, however, was the way Shego gave a brief, embarrassed kind of chuckle as Drakken grinned down at her. "You're such a _geek_, Dr. D," she complained, but there was no real ill intent behind the insult.

"I am _not_ a geek!" Drakken objected. "The pilot let me fly the plane and everything!"

"And thank you for only further proving my point," Shego said bluntly.

Drakken snapped for air. "Shego, why must you always— that's it, I'm _never _paying you another compliment _again_!"

"_Finally_!"

"Hey!"

Ron sighed irritably as he pressed the icepack to his girlfriend's eye, smoothing down her dishevelled hair. "Won't those two _ever_ stop?"

"Probably not even when they're dead, Ron." Kim said, looking up at him with an affectionate grin. Rufus nodded sadly in agreement.

The next evening, when the interviewer asked Kim how she'd gotten the black eye, Kim replied that she'd been injured while fighting a big, green crocodile on a trip down the Nile.

For a moment, Shego turned red as Drakken sent her a puzzled glance, and Kim could tell that it took all of Shego's willpower not to melt the microphone in anger when it was finally handed to her.

Who ever said revenge was just for villains?

* * *

A month or so after they'd last seen Team Possible, Drakken and Shego got a sudden morning visit.

"Drakken!" Kim shouted as she and Ron entered the lair dramatically through the ceiling.

"You won't get away with this!" Added Ron triumphantly.

"Nnk, yeah!" Rufus piped up from Ron's pocket.

"…get away with _what_?" Drakken asked, sounded utterly confused as he halted in reaching for the coffee pot. Shego was simply looking at them as if a couple of vaguely intriguing but disturbing mental patients had just come for a visit.

"We got an anonymous tip that you were planning a big surprise today!" Kim challenged, scowling."Bigger than the Little Diablo Project!"

"Okay…?" Drakken grabbed the coffee pot after all and poured himself and Shego a cup each.

Kim and Ron stared at the two villains as Drakken handed Shego a cup of coffee, which she accepted while calmly taking another bite out of her pancakes.

There was a stretch of uncomfortable silence for Team Possible.

"Um," Kim cleared her throat, "aren't you going to try and stop me or something?"

Shego looked up sharply, finally seeming provoked. "You'fe goffa loffa _nerbe_, you know fhaf? Bweaking in hebe and jusf— I'b _nof_ gonna _fighf you_!" She objected loudly around a mouthful of pancake. "I'b eafing _bw__eakfasf_!"

Ron gave an exaggerated sigh. "See, KP? I _told_ you! Villains don't do villainy things before breakfast time!"

Kim rolled her eyes. "Ron! That's exactly what they_ want_ us to think! A surprise attack would have to be done at a time when we wouldn't _expect_ it, right?"

Ron pouted. "Yeah, but we skipped our _own_ breakfast to be here! _So_ not cool! I'm getting hungry!"

Rufus nodded and whimpered, rubbing his empty belly. "Hungry!"

Ignoring her boyfriend and his pet's objections, Kim stepped forward, pointing squarely at her arch-nemesis' blue face. "Don't act so innocent. You're up to something, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm planning on taking over a series of small European countries using an army of genetically altered scrambled eggs," Drakken told them with heavy duty sarcasm, holding up a forkful of eggs. "This is going to be my next in command, General Whitey Starch."

Shego snorted delicately next to him, almost choking on her coffee as she tried not to laugh.

Ron's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "_Which_ small European countries? 'Cause word of advice here— you _don't_ wanna invade Norway." He looked puzzled for a second. "I don't really know _why _I said that, but...don't."

Drakken sent Shego a mildly despairing look. "They just don't give me any credit at _all_, do they?"

Shego grinned as she shook her head. "Yeah, well, your T-shirt's probably not helping any."

He looked down, blinking at the words '_Mad _Scientists Have More Fun' in bold, white lettering on his chest. "Probably not," he sighed before eating the eggs on his fork.

Looking like that in front of an arch foe really _was_ kind of shameful, Kim considered, but then they'd already seen him making 'evil pâté' in green Speedos and a cape. This certainly wasn't any worse.

"You just killed Whitey!" Ron gasped, pointing accusingly at Drakken. "How could you eat your own general?"

"Ron!" Kim hissed at him to keep quiet, looking embarrassed; unlike him, she'd understood that Drakken was just making fun of them now. Besides, something felt kinda…off. Drakken and Shego were acting differently than usual. For one, Shego had barely made more than a single sarcastic remark about something stupid that Drakken had said— could it be that he really _didn't_ have a plan this time? "Listen, Drakken," she said tightly, "Someone called me, claiming you're going ahead with the world domination scheme of the century today! So fess up!"

"Oh, please!" Drakken sighed heavily. "As much as I might wish that were true, does it _look_ like I'm in the middle of taking over the world? And besides, it's a Sunday and Shego's not even on the clock! If you think it's possible to get her to work on a Sunday, think again!"

"Damn straight!" Shego chimed in, looking self-satisfied.

"It was probably just a prank call or something." Drakken shrugged.

"A prank call?" Kim repeated slowly, narrowing her eyes at Drakken. "Riiiight. And _who_ would do that?"

"I dunno, how about your annoying twin brothers?" Shego suggested with a smirk.

Drakken nodded. "Yes, yes— or what about _your_ annoying brothers, Shego?" He said, turning to Shego for confirmation.

Shego nodded too, taking a sip of coffee. "Mm-hmm, they _would_ do something like that, especially Mego. He's definitely been jealous after I helped save the world. It's a big step up from saving Go City, after all." She added smugly.

"Or it could be Dementor," Drakken supplied, rubbing his large chin. "Even though we're on speaking terms again, I wouldn't put it past him to do something like this just to remind me that I haven't been an active player in the global domination field as of late..."

A somewhat sheepish grin dawned on Ron's face then. "Um, now that I think about it, the guy who called might've had...kind of, y'know...a_ Germanic_ type accent..."

Rufus cringed. "Uh oh..."

Drakken threw his hands up, groaning. "See? There you go! I knew it had to be that little Bavarian weasel...! Ruining my Sunday breakfast!"

"I don't believe you, Drakken," Kim said defiantly, but her resolve was clearly weakening. If the teen had a weakness, it was her very low tolerance for embarrassment.

"Listen, _Kimmie_," Shego said pointedly, standing up and coming around the kitchen counter. "I _know_ what the Doc was doing last night, and it was _anything_ but making evil plans, if you get my drift," she added with a saucy grin as she leaned on Drakken's shoulder; Drakken looked shocked, a rampant blush erupting on his face.

"Sh-Shego!" He blurted.

Kim's jaw dropped. No _wonder_ she'd sensed that something was different!

"What do you mean?" Ron piped up, walking up to his partner. "If he wasn't doing that, what _was_ he doi— whoa, she's not wearing any pants!" He exclaimed, covering his eyes. "KP, no pants!"

What looked to be Drakken's pajama jacket— it _was_ blue, anyway— was so big on Shego that it was more of a mini dress than a shirt, but it was still very obvious that she wasn't wearing anything underneath it except probably underwear, and the two teens froze solid as the implications of that began to sink in.

"Eww!" Ron complained, shaking himself as if to physically get rid of the mental image. Rufus made a face and hid in Ron's pocket, closing the flap after him.

"Uh, I…I kinda think they're busy for now, Ron," Kim said in a feeble, shell-shocked kind of voice.

Ron nodded. "Let's just go clean our brains with some chlorine before we head to breakfast, okay?"

"Okay…" Kim said faintly, letting herself simply be dragged off out of the lair by Ron, who was an expert of running like the wind from things he deemed wrongsick.

They could hear Drakken yelling at the top of his lungs after them as they left. "Oh, _right_! All that and not even an _apology_! Nice! I'll have you know that I'll be billing you if you've broken anything while you were _sneaking around in the air ducts_! Which is _so_ fifteen minutes ago, by the way! Try something _new_, will you?"

* * *

"Shego!" Drakken reprimanded as he turned to his sidekick, radiating acute embarrassment."Why did you tell them _that_?"

Shego shrugged, still acting casual. "Call it payback."

"For...for _what_?"

Shego finished the last bite of her pancake before she grinned. "Oh, I just wanted Kimmie to realize that even if she thinks she's so darn clever, she's still just a kid."

Drakken shook his head, flabbergasted. "I don't understand you at all. And I mean, why did you say that when we haven't..." He paused, clearing his throat, his voice dropping in volume. "I mean, we haven't...done that yet."

"They don't know that."

"Yes, and now they'll think that—"

Shego put her chin in her hand and leaned forward, looking at him closely. "Does it really matter what they think?"

He blinked at her uncertainly before shaking his head. "No, I guess not."

Shego gave a satisfied little sound and leaned back again. "Exactly."

"Hmm," Drakken mused as he took a leisurely sip of his coffee, "they were kind of easier to get rid of than usual, weren't they?"

"Teenagers." Shego flapped a hand in dismissal. "You know how they are, they can never handle the discovery that people who are almost old enough to be their parents might actually be doing things like having sex." She chuckled. "And especially not _villains_. They'll have squicky mental videos rolling in their heads for _days_."

"That's pretty evil," Drakken said, sounding pleased as he sat down across from her at the counter, chin in hand as he looked at her fondly.

"You're right, it _is_," she said, rubbing her chin in thought, "should I charge you for it?"

"Do you accept..._other _forms of payment?" He asked in a husky sort of voice, smirking as he leaned forward to stroke her hand on the counter.

She simply stared at him for a beat or two before practically falling off of her stool, wheezing for air as she laughed uncontrollably. "G-good grief!" She gasped, trying to keep down the belly laugh, but failing, "_D-don't_ try to be sexy! It's t-too funny!"

Drakken blinked at her before crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, "Fine, be that way— you won't be laughing when I won't let you get horizontal with me!" He threatened sulkily.

"Oh! Oh, please stop!" She laughed even harder, desperate for oxygen. "I, I need to breathe, I— _'__get __horizontal'_? Did you just call it— ahahahahh!"

"Fine," he growled, growing seriously annoyed, "you can't have any more pancakes, then," He said as he pulled the plate away from her.

Her laughter gradually came to halt, then, and she grinned up at him as she climbed back onto her stool. "Now_ that's_ a threat, Dr. D." She said flippantly, sliding the pancakes over to her side again; he really was a very good cook. He let her take them, grumbling.

"How do you expect me to get any better at flirting if you never let me try?" He muttered.

"I can't help it if I laugh." Her grin was crooked. "You're a very funny guy when you're trying to get me all hot and bothered."

"I'm so glad this amuses you so much." He said in a deadpan voice.

The grin widened and an upbeat note turned up in her voice. "Hey, it could be worse, you _could_ be boring me to tears!"

He glowered at her. "I'm sure you'll accuse me of that soon enough, too."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, lighten up, Doc!"

He just scoffed, frowning down at his breakfast, his jaw tightening. It was only then that it occurred to her that she might honestly be wounding his ego.

Dropping the piece of toast she'd just picked up to put some butter on, she moved closer to him, leaning over his arm on the counter, her gaze turning soft. She wasn't used to having to be caring or supportive, but little by little, she'd come to understand how Drakken worked in a different setting than where she was used to dealing with him. And one of the things she'd learned was that he'd become a little more sensitive about her mocking after they'd gotten involved. Or maybe he was just daring to show it more. She'd also noticed that she often wasn't able to drop the wise cracks before it was too late.

She didn't know what to say, but let the soft, non-intrusive kiss she gave his lips speak for her. She felt his arms lift from the counter and embrace her almost grudgingly as he eventually kissed her back.

His slender fingers moved lightly, yet somehow possessively up and down her back through the pajama jacket she'd borrowed from him, and that combined with a sudden, soft, appreciative growl he let loose as he deepened the kiss, surprised her as she shivered, her body tingling and a warm rush of wetness heading down south.

When he wasn't trying to be sexy, she decided, that's when he was. When it wasn't forced, when he did it with no intention of doing it, when he was just being natural and responding to her, that's when it could have this kind of effect on her. She wasn't sure if she was going to tell him that, though.

"Mmm," He hummed in his throat, looking somewhat dazed and just about ready to forgive all of her past behaviour, and she placed a moist, lingering kiss on his cheek.

"Maybe we won't wait very long, maybe I'm ready," She said in a tingly half-whisper. "Maybe you're ready. Maybe it could already be tonight. Maybe even now."They'd already shared a bed for a week or two without going further than a little petting, and she knew they were both starting to want more now that they were finally getting comfortable around each other's bodies.

"Really?" He asked hesitantly, his eyes widening with the way she was looking at him.

"Well," she let go of him, grinning cheerfully, the sultry mood breaking, "that all depends if you're going to keep making me laugh when you're trying to turn me on!"

"Shego!" He spluttered at her blatant choice of words.

She laughed a little as she took a sip of her coffee. "Hey, whenever you're ready, Dr. D."

"Hmmphh!" He pouted, turning his nose up in defiance, clearly insulted. "Keep that up, and we'll be waiting for a very long time. That teasing isn't exactly attractive to me."

She looked up at him, then, and his facial expression and voice hit her square in the chest; sometimes he could be unintentionally adorable. Maybe it was because he could have such a strangely innocent face for a blue-skinned villain, maybe it was how easily his moods and his expressions changed with however _she_ acted, almost like she had a personal remote control for them, or maybe it was how he could have such a big, broad-shouldered body and such an evil-looking appearance, yet somehow become so...so_ cute_ (even though she kind of hated that word) and look at her like it hurt him if she wasn't approving of him...

She didn't quite know what it was yet, maybe it was many things, but something about him made her heart swell in an embarrassing way, and her fingers itch to touch him; that pouty lip didn't make him any less appealing, either.

Within seconds, she was kissing him again as they tumbled to the floor together.

Drakken agreed to not wait any longer, but insisted on at least carrying her back to bed first.

**The End. **

* * *

**Author's note:** Yeah, I know. The Shego/Megara thing has been done by other people before, in fan art and fan videos. I still wanted to do it. I just loved her denial in _Graduation_.

I don't have a beta on these stories.

**EDIT: **The last half of the story, when they're in the lair, was cut from the very first version of _Maslow_, way back when.

Drakken and Shego got together a week or so after the plane ride and have been together for about a couple of weeks or three when this chapter occurs. Yeah...of course most of the stuff Shego said to Kim earlier was all hot air. Shego wants love, too, not just sex.

It was a real break to be able to play with the fresh, kind of innocent views of Kim, who's mostly (!) honest about her own feelings and has true and good intentions. Drakken and Shego are older, more cynical, evil, selfish, crooked, in denial, clueless and very, very complicated. With them, I have to wrap everything up in twenty layers of their weird, weird issues first, hahaha. There seems to be nothing simple and straight-forward about them.

Don't expect me to be writing any big, epic K/R romances, though. I've written enough teenage romance to last me a lifetime already.

And gaahhh, writing Rufus...is a big waste of time. Sorry, but I feel like it is.

Shego's reaction to Drakken bringing her magazines is similar to how she behaved when Martin Smarty got her hydrangeas. She does have that side to her as well. She _can_ be non-sarcastic when somebody's sweet to her.

* * *


	2. Appeal

**Appeal**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Grab your insulin shots and come and join in on the dysfunctional fluff. Based on the fact that Drakken and Shego got together at some point after the finale of the series. Set about five years into the future. This one-shot has_ NOTHING_ to do with any of the other one-shots in this collection. All the stories stand alone.

* * *

They had enough money to hire a whole army of maids, yet they were hunched over a filthy tub, trying to clean it up so they could take a bath and maybe wash off the layers off sweat and grime and mud they'd picked up during their two-day trek through the forest to get to their most secluded lair yet. 

They'd done a rather big job this time, had ticked off not only the police and Team Possible, but the mob as well, and needed to go into serious hiding for a while. In a place where even Possible's little computer kid wouldn't be able to track them down. So they'd mulled it over and had chosen the most low-tech lair they owned— it was hardly even a lair. It wasn't really a place to plan world domination; it was just a place to lay low for a few weeks.

Drakken had also let his flowers grow luxuriantly across the building, so it would be even harder to find.

And there were no computers, no TV, no internet connection, no henchmen, no cleaning crew— it was a wonder that they even had hot running water and electricity, Shego thought.

So now they were scrubbing away. Shego hated doing things like this— she'd hated cleaning the bathroom as part of her weekly chores when she'd been young and living at home, and had been glad for never having to clean up again after she'd started working for the Doc— but she loved taking baths even more, especially when she needed one as badly as she did now, so she cleaned the tub without any more than the mandatory, initial complaints.

Dr. D, on the other hand, just wouldn't shut up. He was cursing and complaining and whining and sulking as he attacked the tub's surface with a dripping wet sponge that had seen better days, while ranting on and on about how a scientific genius like him should never have to be reduced to this, how a man of his greatness should have slaves tripping over themselves in their rush to clean his gold and porcelain bathroom, how he should already be ruling several countries by now, how he was just misunderstood and how they would all soon realize his brilliance—

Normally, Shego might've gotten deeply annoyed, but now she found herself simply letting his frustrated words wash over her, almost soothing in their familiarity. She was thirty-two, he was pushing forty-seven and was in ridiculously good shape for his age— to be frank, he was even in good shape for _her _age; and she'd made sure he'd stayed that way— and they'd been together for nearly ten years, out of which they'd actually been _together_ for five. So she knew him. She knew him very, very well.

As she idly scrubbed at the dirty enamel surface, Shego studied his profile. She looked at his furrowed brow as he scowled at the tub as if it'd done him some great injustice, saw his lips move as he muttered to himself, saw his ponytail resting, limp with sweat, on the nape of his neck, his T-shirt stained and damp, his face covered in a three-day stubble and his cheeks streaked with dirt— and finally noticed that she was actually smiling.

To say that they'd seen the very best and the worst of each other through the years was an understatement. And now, out of nowhere, she felt a strong impulse to ask a stupid question.

"Doc?"She asked, pushing a thick lock of hair out of her face with her soapy rubber gloves, leaving a trail of dirty suds behind.

He raised his head from the tub, glancing at her in a preoccupied kind of way. "Hmm?"

"Do you want to marry me?"

There was a muffled splat in the bottom of the tub as Drakken dropped his sponge. His fingers suddenly felt useless to him. "_Excuse_ me?"

Shego set her jaw with determination. "You_ heard_ me."

Drakken stared at her uneasily as he tried to figure her out. "Is that a hypothetical question or an actual proposal? Or is it just very, _very_ strong sarcasm?"

She groaned, rolling her eyes. "It's the real deal, Brainiac. So do you want to marry me?"

"_Me_? Why? Now? _Why_?"He stuttered, attempting to arrange his jumbled thoughts, or at least to regain control of the impulses that controlled his tongue and mouth.

"Oh, great, now he's gone monosyllabic."

"Shego! Don't joke— I mean it!"

"Well, we live together anyway, so why not?"Shego said, gesturing almost carelessly. "We're practically married already. So let's get hitched, make a thing out of it. Have a party."

"A party?" He asked weakly, confused by how lightly she was saying those big, important words. "But I mean, why are you asking me_ now_? There couldn't be a worse time! I mean, _look_ at us—"He protested, gesturing to his rank T-shirt and muddy pants, and her equally muddy jeans, sweat-stained top, her grimy face and her limp hair, which she'd pulled back in a messy bun.

"Since when are _you_ the big romantic? And look who you're talking to— do I _care_?"Her tone was dry and just a little frustrated. "What do you _want_? A string quartet, a dozen roses and me in a fetching cocktail number?"

He growled a bit; did she have to brush him aside when he was trying to be serious, even now? "It doesn't necessarily have to be so damn romantic, that's not the _point_— at least you could've picked a time when we weren't covered in filth and sweat and scrubbing a dirty bathtub! Is that so much to ask?"

"If you wanted it to be different, you could've asked me yourself!"She snarled.

He gaped at her, stunned. "But…but I was sure you would never agree to it, so I didn't even try mentioning it! It hasn't been all that important to me since we've been together anyway, but for Pete's sake, Shego, it's not as if I've never ever considered it before! It's only natural for the thought to occur to you at least once when you've been together with somebody for almost five years—"

He'd probably never tell her, but before they'd gotten together, he'd more or less resigned himself to the belief that he might not ever get a girlfriend, let alone a wife. Sometimes he wondered what she'd thought about the same issues.

Not considering the fact that she was a wanted criminal, it was easy enough for her to date, what with her looks and confidence, but he'd never seen her go steady with anyone in the years since he'd met her, so he had to wonder. Had she actually ever been in a long-term relationship with anybody before him? As far as he'd gathered from the few personal things she'd let slip every so often, she hadn't.

And there had certainly been a lot to learn since neither of them had ever been in a serious relationship before and both were getting older and were already set in their ways. Even if they'd already lived together before they'd started dating, it was a whole other thing to be living together when you also spent the weekends together suddenly, and certainly when you were sharing a bed.

And now she was saying that she also wanted to make a rather sizable commitment to him. Had anyone told him this five years ago, he might've laughed.

Shego swallowed; he'd always been the more sensitive out of the two of them even if he could be quite inconsiderate, absent-minded and temperamental, and somehow she should have known that he might have thought about the concept of marrying her before now, especially what with his mother nagging him, but even so it came as somewhat of a shock to her. It frightened her, intrigued her and flattered her all at the same time.

And she knew she'd have to give him the real reason why she wanted to marry him all of a sudden.

Her voice softened just a little as she began to explain herself. "Look…if actually wanting to marry you was a thought that _still_ crossed my mind even when you looked like_ this_ and when you were whining and cursing over a dirty bathtub, I figured that then…well, I _should_ probably marry you. Because that has to mean_ something_."

A warm look turned up in his eyes even as he smirked teasingly at her, shaking his head. "You know, that's the sappiest thing I've ever heard you say."

She kneed his thigh irritably, grinning with satisfaction when she heard him groaning in pain. "And it's the sappiest thing you're ever _go__ing to_ hear me say, so you'd better just soak it up and enjoy it now!"

"That's not what your knees are for when you're proposing!" He objected, rubbing his thigh and wincing a bit.

She lifted a warning eyebrow at him. "You want me to get down on my knees now?"

Drakken let out a small puff of indignation. "Well, if you really _w__ant_ to marry me, I suppose you should ask properly."

"Now you're just _trying_ to get me to hate you, aren't you?"

Drakken made another affronted little sniff of a sound. "Hey, if you don't want to, I won't force you…"

She groaned, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Yes or no, Dr. D?"

Drakken peered at her cautiously. "What am I supposed to say?"

"You're supposed to say 'Yes!', and then you're supposed to be so overcome with joy that you offer to scrub the rest of the tub by yourself."She said, handing him her scraped-up scrubbing brush.

Drakken grinned. "No chance, dumpling."He said, pushing his wet, dirty sponge into her hand. "But we can trade for a while."

She scowled at him before they started cleaning the tub again.

* * *

"So, yes or no?"She asked again, after a few minutes. The tub was nearly done, and she was getting a bit impatient. 

There was a pause before he spoke.

"When you ask me that, you _do_ remember about my mother, right?"He asked apprehensively.

"Um…"Briefly, she went a little greener than usual. "Your mom…uh…I can handle your mom."She finally pressed out.

"Really?"He brightened a little, but still felt some disbelief. "Even if she wants you to wear her old wedding dress?"

Shego hesitated. "What color is it?"

"White."

"Ugh, _so _not a good color for me."Shego winced. "Well, then…I'd just tell her I have to wear _my_ mom's old dress."

"What color is that?"

"White."

"But—"

"Doy, I wouldn't be wearing _that_,"Shego interrupted him, "I'd buy a new, green one and just…make up a little white lie."

Drakken nodded; that seemed like a decent plan. But now for the much more difficult question… "And what if mother asks us about…"Drakken gritted his teeth, cringing a little. "You know…kids?"

Again, Shego went that odd shade of green, as if she was getting just a little nauseous. "Oooh, that's…uhm…yeah…I don't, uh…"Shego cleared her throat loudly, her eyes wide. "That's…um…I dunno, do _you_ want any yet?"

"Goodness, no!"Drakken exclaimed quickly, putting his hands up. "No! No kids…no!"

Shego exhaled heavily, smiling weakly at him. "Good."

Even so, they'd both taken note of the fact that she'd said 'yet'. Not _yet_. Considering who they were and what they did for a living, there were far more things for them to consider before making a decision than what normal people would have to consider, and none of them were ready to even _start_ thinking about all that yet. Yet.

Drakken glanced at her sideways, wanting to change the subject. "Would you want to be Mrs. Lipsky, or…?"

"No way."Shego wrinkled her nose. "I never got that. Maybe it made sense before, but in this day and age, why should anyone take the family name of another person unless they particularly want to change their name? Changing your name to somebody else's name sounds too much like changing your identity to conform to somebody else's. Nope," She declared cheerfully, "I'm gonna be Shego 'till the day I die."

He sent her a skeptical look. "What, just 'Shego'?"

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Why not?"

His mouth quirked oddly. "Just 'Shego'? Like…like 'Cher'?"

She gave a frustrated squeal and smacked him across his head; she _knew_ when she was being mocked. "As if you're one to talk, 'Drakken'!"

"If this marriage is going to be dominated by domestic violence, I think I'm going to have to decline!"He retorted.

She growled and pinched his ear. "Very funny."She snapped, ignoring the way he yelped. He_ loved_ doing this. _She_ was usually always the one who was riling _him_ up with her mocking, so in the few instances where he got a chance to do the same, he milked it for all it was worth, teasing her to no end.

"That hurts!" He snapped back, rubbing his stinging ear. "I have sensitive ears!"

"Oh, yeah?"She smirked. "What're you gonna do about it?"

He glared at her for a second or two before a wicked grin spread across his face.

She sent him a mistrustful look. "What?"

"I think you need to cool down," he said in a resolved kind of voice, and before she knew it, he'd picked up the bucket of dirty water they'd used to wring up the sponge in and was pouring it all over her.

Her yell of shock and rage was loud and piercing and echoed in the small, tiled room. "What the he—"she spluttered, staring wide-eyed up at him, her hair plastered to her head and her clothes dripping with gray water.

He shrugged. "It sounded like a challenge to me."

Baring her teeth, she snarled and tackled him, knocking him on his back on the now wet and slippery bathroom floor. She looked down at him menacingly, her bunched fists trembling as she tried to withhold the urge to ignite her plasma powers.

To her mystification, he started laughing abruptly. "Still want to marry me?"He asked with a crooked grin.

She was even more mystified when she realized that a giddy, disbelieving laughter was bubbling up in her own throat. "Hey, if I still wanna marry you after all the crap I've been through since meeting you, a bucket of filthy water isn't going to stop me!"

He made a face. "Bah! Associating with you hasn't exactly been a picnic, either."

One delicate eyebrow arched as Shego sat up slightly. "Oh, no?"

"Well, not unless it could be described as the kind of picnic where my henchmen mistake my new hair growth formula for lemonade, it starts sleeting without warning, Commodore Puddles relieves himself in the potato salad and we're attacked by giant, mutant fire ants…"He considered, shrugging one shoulder.

"Yeah, that was one _weird_ day. The henchmen ended up looking like a bunch of Wookies."She stuck her tongue out in disgust. "All that _hair_…gah!"

"And Dementor _so_ needs to get over his deal with giant mutant things!"Drakken joined in. "First it was those wiener dogs, then the man-eating plant, then the vicious hamsters, then the fire ants— what's next? So unoriginal!"

"Yeah," Shego smirked, getting up and pulling Drakken to his feet by his hand. "Unlike somebody else I know, who's never had_ any_ similar plans…"

"Hey, I'll have you know I've had great variety!"He pouted.

Shego cocked her hip. "How many times have you stolen a secret super weapon and threatened to use it to gain world domination?"

"I've done a lot more than that!"He blurted defensively.

"True, but it _does_ seem like it's the default thing…"Shego let the comment trail off innocently.

"Well, at least it's a different super weapon each time!"Drakken protested, getting flustered.

Shego sighed as she rolled her eyes. "Let's just take that bath now, okay?"

"The bath tub's not clean yet."Drakken reminded her, moping a bit.

"It's clean enough," Shego shrugged as she started rinsing off the soap from the tub.

When she was done, she turned on the faucet to fill the tub, but was stopped by Drakken, who turned it back off.

He frowned at her. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Doy, running a bath?"She answered irritably.

"We can't get into a bath like this!"Drakken admonished. "We'd just be sitting in our own dirt!"

"I don't care. I just wanna get into some hot water, okay?"Shego gave an exasperated grunt. "My muscles are sore and I feel all itchy. I'm too tired to wash myself first, I just want some hot water."

"Fine— fine, what if…what if I said I'd do it for you?"He suggested, his voice slipping into a more agreeable vein.

Shego blinked at him. "…you_ would_?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Even if you're tired?"

"_Yes_."

"_Without_ complaining?"Her tone was getting incredulous now.

He sighed heavily. "_Ye_-es."

She peered knowingly at him, her lips curling into a faint smile. "This is just because I proposed to you, isn't it?"

He gave a little cough. "Maybe."

"Well, this might be a fun marriage, huh?"She grinned as she began stripping down.

After ten minutes of being scrubbed, rubbed, rinsed and having her hair washed by his nimble fingers, she felt rejuvenated and was basically almost ready to take a trip to Las Vegas and get married the very next day.

"My turn now?"Drakken asked hopefully.

"Aww," she pretended to whine, "but you're still filthy, and I'm all clean now."

"Shego…!"

Shego batted her eyelashes in an exaggerated manner. "Do I _have_ to?"

"Keep this up, and I'll be asking for a divorce sooner than you think."Drakken warned sulkily.

She snickered and squirted some soap at him playfully, which he ducked to avoid it getting in his eyes before glaring daggers at her.

So, Drakken wondered for moment, did he really want to spend the rest of his life with a mocking, teasing, pinching, prodding, pulling, poking, overbearing, annoying, self-content, unmotivated, sadistic, evil, demanding, impatient, temperamental and inconsiderate woman with dangerous plasma powers?

_Yes. Yes, most definitely. _

She let out a mirthful yelp when he suddenly lunged at her, growling.

Fifteen minutes, some scattered bathroom articles, a lot of wrestling, splashing, grunting, yelling, smacking, groping, tickling and laughing later, Drakken had a clean body, clean hair and a clean-shaved face, and they could finally run the tub.

**The End. **

* * *

**Author's note:** I had never, ever intended to write a D/S story that had anything to do with marriage, but I simply found myself being strangled by a plot bunny one day last year and had to write this intolerable, saccharine crap, which ended up in limbo on my computer for months before I bothered to finish it today. 

Hope you enjoyed it.

* * *


	3. Symbiosis

**Symbiosis**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** He's the only person left in the world who's still allowed to occasionally call her Shego. Related to _A Sitch in Time_. **Somewhat dark/adult themes. Some sexual content, but not detailed enough to need an M-rating, IMO.** Again, this story is completely stand-alone.

* * *

He's a slave.

His quarters are nice, he gets all the food he needs and he has a comfy bed— but he works too much, he doesn't get paid, he doesn't have the freedom to leave if he so wished, he gets punished if he talks back, and he wears a collar like a dog.

He's not a sidekick. He's a slave.

He designs and makes weapons for her, and vehicles and alarms and torture devices and so on and so on...everything The Supreme One needs to uphold her reign of terror.

And she watches him like a hawk everyday, waiting for him to deliberately slip up somehow in his bitter hatred of her.

In the beginning, he was livid at the prospect of becoming his former sidekick's slave, his megalomaniac nature casting him into furious, rebellious rants and threats.

These days, however, he never does. It's partly out of fear of the punishment, but it's also the fact that it's the creative outlet that keeps him afloat in this degrading slavery, and it's also born out of fascination. He hates being her slave, but he loves seeing her make slaves out of others.

He's still evil, despite it all. He's only grown even bitterer; he hasn't developed a sympathy for her other victims.

He wants to see her make use of what he's building, see her rule the world with what he's giving her, see how his genius strikes fear in the hearts of millions...even if it's all credited to The Supreme One and nobody even knows it's him that does it.

That doesn't matter, however, because everyone who _matters_ knows that it was him. _Shego_ knows. And it gives him some bizarre sense of satisfaction to know that she still needs him, that he's still useful.

She's been brilliant. The Time Monkey...just brilliant. He admires that. Bending time to her will, raking in the cash at exploiting her knowledge of past internet stock market situations...inspired. Breaking up Team Possible...superb. He's not sure if he would have thought of that himself. Probably not.

But somehow, even if she's the ruler of the world, and has been for many years already, and he's never even been the ruler of the world for a single _day_...somehow, she still needs him.

And he's come to realize that he's the only person left in the _world_ who's still allowed to occasionally call her Shego.

* * *

One day, something happens.

The rebels attack his lab, and they manage to steal some of his paperwork and even some of his finished weapons before the guards arrive— and the rebels inject him with something.

He knows that they've been dabbling in sneaky germ warfare, because he's been experimenting with it himself at the request of his superior.

A sharp sense of panic sets in as his mind races, wondering what in the world they could've given him— but then his head hits the floor as he topples over. He gets a dim view of a pair of green boots before everything goes dark.

* * *

The Supreme One has seen enough death and destruction in her life to become comfortably immune to such sights, elevated above unpractical things like remorse or compassion. She certainly hasn't felt much remorse about enslaving Dr. D after how arrogantly he's treated her in the past when he was her boss, and how exasperated she remembers being about his many failures, his stubbornness and his unwillingness to heed her words.

And yet…and yet the sight of her most important slave lying unconsciously on the floor at an awkward angle, eyes closed, mouth drooling, face pale and sweaty, body twitching slightly…it's not as easy to simply brush aside as everything else she's seen.

It fills her with something she hasn't felt in years.

Fear.

Deep and shattering fear; her eyes staring, her heart beat speeding up, her chest feeling constrictive and her palms getting clammy.

And she hates it. She never wants to feel it again.

So when she calls her staff of doctors and scientists, she doesn't simply order them to heal him at all costs…she orders them to make him _better_ so this can never, ever happen again.

She watches over his progress every day, watches him stabilize before her servants start to figure out how to make him stronger, faster, immune to biological warfare; gives him the power to defend himself if he's ever attacked again by the rebel scum. It doesn't _matter_ if it makes him more powerful— she can still control him with her obedience collars.

She only stays by his side because there's nothing better on TV, she tells herself.

And if she hates the rebellion even more intensely now than before, that doesn't have to mean anything.

* * *

He's horrified when he finds out she's been ordering experiments on his body. It's one of the few times he doesn't only talk back, but snarls at her, his very being rebelling against the subdued servitude he's had stamped on his soul by years of slavery. This time, he screams and rages, she's gone too far. He's a bulky, massive thing; he doesn't even recognize himself anymore, and it frightens him.

The Supreme One only punishes his insolence by zapping him a few times and throwing him in solitary for good measure. The latter is probably her favourite method of torture when it comes to him— she knows he goes _nuts_ if he's left all by himself with nothing to do.

When she finally releases him after a day or two— he doesn't know how long, he's lost track of time— he feels sullen and numb, and stands silently and listens to her long spiel about why she's done what she's done to him, why she's manipulated his very genes. How he should be grateful to her instead unless he wants another day in the enclosed, empty space, and how it's time he feels what it's like to be treated simply like the hired muscle, like how he used to treat her.

And if he didn't know any better, he could've sworn that there's a tiny note of something almost apologetic in her voice as she talks.

But he's too caught up in his own suppressed anger, simmering quietly under the surface, to consider her ulterior motives.

Later, though, when he's not put back in the lab down on the third floor, when he's rather trained in fighting, when he's built up instead of torn down, and when he's suddenly placed by her side, up in her tower, under her supervision, and as her last line of defense..._then_ he starts to wonder. Occasionally, he still gets given some lab work, but mostly it seems she likes to keep him close at hand.

Little by little, he starts to appreciate his newfound strength and power and his newfound skills. He thrives in being physically intimidating for the first time in his life. A real threat in a fight. Not somebody who has to run away.

When her minions have given him the basic training, The Supreme One takes it upon herself to get him to the next level, and the next, and the next and the next, until she realizes— horror, yet also satisfaction dawning on her— that she's actually allowed him to become better at it than her.

If she gave him the chance, she thinks with a perverse sense of pride, he could easily kill her.

But, she reminds herself, if Kim Possible ever shows up, and she knows that the persistent brat probably will, then The Supreme One will need a last line of defence that's even better than herself. Better than Kim Possible. Or what would be the point?

Still, she makes sure to increase the strength of his collar and test his loyalty on a regular basis.

* * *

The first time she calls him to her quarters, he doesn't know what to make of it.

She's not wearing her usual, intimidating Supreme One outfit with the cape. She's wearing some kind of long dress, green and formal.

He stands to attention, waiting nervously for whatever order that's so special that she's brought him up to her top suite to give it to him, but she never tells him to do anything. She only makes some idle chit chat about the latest success in chasing off the rebels in New York, and gripes a bit about how she's had to discipline Monty Fiske lately because he's been a little uppity.

After about fifteen minutes of that, she dismisses him.

The next time, she actually asks him to sit. That makes him uneasy; she never lets him do that. He always has to stand when she's talking.

She makes him listen to her talk about her day for an hour before she lets him leave.

The next time, he stays for two hours.

During these meetings, sometimes she's The Supreme One, sometimes…she's Shego.

Sometimes she makes wise cracks and it's almost, _almost_ kind of like the old days… and sometimes she scolds him for no good reason.

But he knows the reason.

_If you __**ever**__ tell people about—_

That's the general thought. Nothing specific, no big secret, just something vague…maybe about how she treats him just a little bit differently than everybody else.

The next time, it's three hours, and he actually eats dinner with her. She calls a servant to bring an extra plate, and he doesn't dare to comment, though he wants to snap at her and ask her what the hell she thinks she's doing, suddenly acting all friendly after how terribly she's been treating him for _years_—

—even so, he finds himself holding back, and not just because of the looming threat of punishment.

He's getting honestly curious.

The next time, she wants _him_ to talk. Says she's bored. So he drones on about the progress of the new job he's gotten; training new guards for her. She listens attentively, looking at him over the brim of her expensive, delicate china tea cup.

Then there's the _next_ time…

The second he sees her, he instantly knows something's up. They _both_ know something's up, but neither of them are acknowledging it quite yet.

The dress she's wearing this time is…different. Some kind of smooth, silky, shimmering fabric.

And this time, there's wine.

He drinks it because he has no choice, but also because he's suddenly nervous.

He drinks his wine in shallow, frequent, anxious sips, and she hers in long, lazy ones.

Her lips curl, amused, when she sees a bit of color turn up on his cheeks, flushed from the alcohol.

She stands up, coaxing him to follow her with a look and a curled finger, and briefly meets his fearful eyes.

He's starting to get the picture, she realizes as she notices his eyes trail across her curves under the clingy, figure-hugging material of her dress. If anybody else had looked at her like that, she would've had them tortured.

Anybody else and not tonight.

He follows her to her large, luxurious bed, intrigued despite his obvious trepidation. Then he simply hovers near the bed end, waiting for her next move.

Grinning, she pushes him onto the bed, and he stumbles a little, but lets himself fall.

Soon, she's got him spread-eagled on his back and down to only his boxer shorts. Reaching into a drawer on her nightstand, she draws out a piece of fabric. He stiffens and grimaces a little when he realizes her intentions, but lets her put the blindfold on him. What choice does he have?

She doesn't want him to see how her face looks after this point.

She can tell that he's waiting uneasily for something else, like a pair of handcuffs or ropes for his hands and feet, but she's not planning on robbing him of his mobility.

There's a small 'click' as she presses the remote that controls his obedience collar…and it's deactivated and it opens. She pulls it off, setting it aside on her nightstand.

His mouth drops open at the unexpected move. She bets he never would have seen that coming. Now she's granted him more freedom than he's had in _years_. Just like that.

Right now, without his collar restraining him, he could kill her if he wanted to, but she doesn't care. She has to allow him that much freedom, just this once. The freedom to throw her off if he really, truly doesn't want to do this. Because she can't let this be anything like rape, even if there would be nobody to prosecute her for it. She just…can't.

Besides, what would he do and where would he go if he abandoned her? Join the rebellion? They all hate him! Because unlike the rest of the world, they _know_ that it's Drakken who's built all the things that The Supreme One tortures and attacks them with every week.

So he needs her. He can't leave.

But she still needs to give him the chance to at least stop _this_.

But for some reason, as she slips her panties off and brings her very private parts up to his mouth, he only hesitates a little before understanding what she wants and accepting it, touching her folds with a tentative tongue. He follows her prompts as she guides him, his ministrations becoming surer.

And when she can't take it anymore and she slowly pulls his underwear down, takes him in her hand, puts on the condom— there are other ways of protecting yourself in the future, and she's got herself covered for all of them, but you can never be too sure, and she's old-fashioned in this respect— aims him at her opening and sinks down on him, he doesn't stop her either, only gives a tortured yet blissful grunt as her body holds him.

And she gasps. She tries not to, tried not to do it earlier, too—doesn't want him to hear— but she can't help it. At least he can't _see_ her reactions. Her body has been out of this kind of use for years, and having him burrow into her is jarring even as it feels electrifying and soothing and warm and—

She hasn't taken any lovers even if The Supreme One could have any man she wants, because there's been nobody she's trusted, and she's worked too hard to create the unapproachable, almost goddess-like image of The Supreme One to have it ruined by some silly little lover boy blabbing to people.

Now, however…she's reached the limit of how long she can go without this kind of intimate physical contact. It's been too long, too much— not enough.

As she starts to move on top of him, he whimpers softly and grabs her hips…and she lets him.

Drakken gasps and groans, his fingers clutching her skin as he feels confused, scared, overwhelmed and angry at how she can be doing this to him after all he's gone through under her reign.

And yet, he hasn't felt human affection or any intimate physical contact for too, too long, and his body and mind screams with need. He's been lonely, desperately lonely, even by her side, and something about what's happening now makes him remember the Shego of the past.

They were never involved like this, and she was never one to show emotions exuberantly, but even Shego was much more affectionate towards him and more passionate and human than The Supreme One has been for the last few years, and as he listens to her little puffs of breath and her little gasps and whimpers that it she sounds like she's trying to hold back, he gets a sharp feeling of realization that she's been as lonely as him.

Suddenly, despite all the torture and despite being a slave and having to watch her accomplish what he never could, he feels sorry not for _her_— he still hates her— but for some part of her that was almost lost in the process of being the ruler of the world, but has now broken free again and is running rampant…and that she's taking out on him.

Maybe nobody was meant to rule the world, he thinks dazedly as she rides him, maybe it would only corrupt that person from the inside. Too much power, too much…

He hates her, but he can't hate her as much as he would like to, because he can't be sure that he wouldn't have turned into the very same thing if it had been him.

Even though he's blindfolded right now and has never seen her cry before in his life, he can almost picture her face after they've both reached their pinnacles and he hears her sniffling a little, her breath ragged.

Which is why, when she leans down to catch her breath, her arms tired, he dares to lift his head and kiss her even if she hasn't kissed him yet. He's not supposed to take the initiative, he's supposed to wait for The Supreme One and follow her lead, but he doesn't care. She needs it even if she'd never admit it. And he does, too.

Shego shivers when their lips part.

The Supreme can't have a partner. The Supreme One can't have it look like she's sharing her dominion. She's Supreme. She's above everyone else. She's not soft or weak and she certainly doesn't need affection.

The closest thing The Supreme One can ever have to a boyfriend is a sex slave. He can never be anything else— not only because it would damage the pristine image of the fearsome ruler, but because it's too late. She's treated him too badly for too long. He's never going to simply forgive and forget.

The fact that he's felt The Supreme One's tears dripping down onto his face earns Drakken several days in solitary.

After that, Dr. D is starting to act just a little more like the old Dr. D than her slave— he still fears her, but nevertheless develops a bit of an attitude— and even though she still reprimands him and shocks him with his collar, he persists.

The Supreme One is as evil and ruthless as ever, but laughs just a little more often.

* * *

When Kim Possible finally shows up one day, years later, The Supreme One is annoyed, but not surprised. And at least it's a break with the routine; at least it's an actual _challenge_ instead of that lousy band of rebels, who have been lying suspiciously low lately.

She introduces her old arch nemesis to the new and improved Dr. D with a smug sense of self-satisfaction, watching the teen girl and her sidekick stare in wide-eyed terror— even Dr. D seems to have been looking forward to this moment. And he's spectacular. He does everything she's trained him for and more. Kimmie doesn't stand a chance.

And for the first time in a long time, she's truly having fun again. She's even bantering a little with Dr. D, as if the appearance of Kim Possible has jogged their memories of what they used to be like.

But when Possible's sidekick smashes the time monkey by mistake, she feels an overwhelming sense of relief at the same time that she feels grief and rage and hate over losing the power she's harvested and the world domination she's held onto for all of twenty years.

She lunges after the two teens to stop them from getting back to their own time, but it's a half-hearted attempt, and she's easy for Possible to shrug off.

Deep down, she doesn't really care.

Yes, she did something nobody has ever done before her, she was glorious and now it's all been torn away from her...but at the same time...

It's over. It's finally over.

He's not her slave anymore.

Time will right itself.

* * *

"Shego?"Drakken asks, cautiously raising his head from the open fridge like a meerkat popping its head out of the grass to look for predators. "Did you just feel a...a _thing?"_

Shego blinks at him from where she's halted in the middle of the floor. "Yeah, you know...I actually _did_? I dunno, it felt kinda like a...a _ripple_? Or static electricity?"She suggests uncertainly, not knowing how else to describe it. "What _was_ that?"

Drakken nods, stroking his chin. "Or sort of like a heat wave from a fire?"

"...yeah, something like that." She blinks again, running a hand through her hair, feeling mystified. "Huh. That was weird."

"Hmm."Drakken frowns, biting his lip in thought. "I just hope nobody's playing around with the time and space continuum again."

She sends him an odd look. "_What_?"

"Yes," He licks his lips absentmindedly, nodding again, "I felt something similar back in college when one of the students accidentally flipped a switch on the wrong machine when we were on a tour of a science center."

"Jeez."Shego makes a face, her eyes wide. "You think anything important has been changed?"

"If it has, Shego, we'd never know the difference, anyway. This might be a new reality, but to us, it would also be as if this had _always_ been reality. Time rights itself. That's just how all that time stuff works."He shrugs, pulling a bright orange carton out of the fridge. "Now, do you want to start the day with some juice while I tell you all about my latest plan?"He asks eagerly with a grin, shaking the carton a little at her.

"Oh, joy." She sighs in resignation, leaning on the counter. "Maybe you should make it coffee instead of juice so I'll stand a fighting chance at actually staying awake."

He rolls his eyes, grunting. "Cute, Shego. Very cute."

**The End.**

* * *

**Author's note:** I wrote this all today. I got the idea one or two days ago, and now it all just poured out of my head and became words. Phew. I had NO intention of updating this fast.

I wrote it in the present tense because of the whole confusing time crap, and because I just felt like it.

Yes, even my darkfics have some kind of weird brand of fluff in them...sigh. I just can't make them _really _dark. Well, I suppose it's dark enough for KP, heheh.

Inspired in part by Blackfire18's D/S fic _Out Of Control_, which is darker than mine.

**Symbiosis:**

1. Biology:

a. The living together of two dissimilar organisms, as in mutualism, commensalism, amensalism, or parasitism.

b. (formerly) MUTUALISM (def. 1).

2. Psychiatry: A relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, whether beneficial or detrimental, from the other.

3. Psychoanalysis: The relationship between an infant and its mother in which the infant is dependent on the mother both physically and emotionally.

4. Any interdependent or mutually beneficial relationship between two persons, groups, etc.


	4. Bus Stops

**Bus Stops**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Drakken and Shego and their adventures with public transport— from 1988 to 2006. Pre-series and Post-_Rappin' Drakken_. Friendship/general/humour. Short and pointless.

* * *

**1988**

* * *

Sharon grunted restlessly as she looked up and down the street, tapping her foot. If the bus didn't come soon, she was gonna miss the Ninja Turtles, and then everybody would be talking over her head at school tomorrow about what had happened.

The thought of being a ninja was quite appealing, and green was her favourite color, so she wanted to root for the turtles just like everyone else, but somehow, she always found herself wishing the bad guys would win, if even just once. Maybe...maybe today would be the day.

Besides, Leonardo, the bossy big brother type, reminded her too much of her own older brother, Herbert. She always cheered for The Shredder to kick Leonardo's butt, which annoyed Herb to no end.

"Come on, come on, come on," she mumbled, gritting her teeth, but there was no bus in sight. All of a sudden, she noticed a strange sound behind her. It took her a few seconds to identify it as somebody sniffling.

Turning around, she caught sight of somebody. It was a man, who looked to be about her older cousin's age, who was already in college. He had a sort of slicked-back, totally outdated haircut-- not cool, bleached hair like Billy Idol or even a mullet or _anything_— and dorky glasses...and he was even _crying_...? A guy who was already past college age? Crying? In _public_?

Sharon rolled her eyes. _What a nerd._

Drew rubbed self-consciously at his wet eyes, grunting in embarrassment. It was kind of humiliating to be crying in public, but then it wasn't everyone who'd just had their so-called friends_ laughing_ at them for _three weeks straight_, distracting them so badly from their studies that they'd ended up almost flunking two of their five exams.

He could take the exams again, he knew, and if he only concentrated, he also knew he'd ace them as usual, but he was starting to get sick of college, sick of classes, sick of rules, sick of the people who were supposed to be his friends making fun of him, sick of the rumours spreading all across campus, sick of the girls who now whispered behind his back, looking at him as if he was some kind of sexual deviant who got off with robots—

And now, with the lack of any trustworthy friends, he had nowhere to go to get away from it all but to take the bus home to his mother, who'd nag and nag and _nag_—

"Oww!" He howled, as there was an abrupt, sharp pain in his leg.

Looking up, he met the brown-eyed gaze of a young girl of about eight or nine, with green overalls, dark pigtails, a school bag covered in those obnoxious, reptile cartoon characters that had gotten so popular overnight...and a severe scowl that made her look more like forty, for a second.

"You're too old to cry," she said firmly, giving him the most piercing and unforgiving look he'd ever seen on a little girl.

He opened his mouth to object— like he needed sass from some rude little brat on top of everything else? —but a bus pulled up, and she turned around, heading towards it.

"Nothing to cry about, anyway," she called out carelessly as she climbed the steps and got on the bus, "the bad guys might win today and everything!"

He glared after the bus as it left, rubbing his shin. Little girls shouldn't be able to kick that hard.

Muttering, he wandered off, lost in thought...and happened to miss the next bus, which was heading for his mother's house.

Not even an hour later, he began hunting for an apartment.

* * *

**2000**

* * *

The man looked to be in his mid-thirties, but that wasn't the first thing she noticed about him. No, that definitely had to be the spiky, black ponytail and the _I-hate-everybody-EVER_ kind of moody, frustrated scowl he was wearing.

And, well...the blue skin.

Definitely the blue skin.

Intrigued out of her usual bus stop boredom, she sidled up to the man, tapping his shoulder. When he turned to look at her, his scowl didn't diminish in the slightest. That was new. Men usually reacted differently to her.

"You're a super villain, aren't you?" She asked, without any pretence.

The blue guy froze, staring at her; she'd obviously hit a bull's eye there. "Why would you think that?"He asked, highly suspicious.

She shrugged. "I deal with them all the time, and you...you just give out that certain vibe. You have that look."

"It's the blue skin, isn't it?" His tone was flat.

"Among other things, yeah." She nodded.

"What other thi—" Drakken began, but cut himself off as something occurred to him. When he took a better look, he saw that her skin, which had looked merely unusually pale in the bright sunlight, actually had a distinct green tinge to it, as did her hair. Green skin, long black hair, green eyes...now where had he seen...?

Could it be...? Was this the girl he'd seen in the Go City section of that _'Super Heroes to Watch Out For' _article in last week's Villains' Weekly?

"You're not a super hero, are you?" He asked weakly.

She wrinkled her nose a little. "Not usually something I like to advertise, but...yeah."

"You'll never catch me!" He blurted, starting to make a break for it, but she calmly grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

"Relax, spaz," she said in a bored voice as he struggled. "You haven't actually done anything I have to stop you for yet. For all I know, you're just some kinda super villain wannabe."

"Who are you calling a _wannabe_?" Drakken sneered, wriggling free of her grasp and whirling around to face her. "Just you wait, I'll show you all! I'll wipe your entire city out just for that comment! I'll— uh, I mean...I don't know what you're talking about...?" He trailed off lamely as the woman scowled severely at him and as, for just a moment, what looked like green fire flared up around her clenched fists. Taking a step or two away from her, he eyed her warily for a while before settling down into an angry mope, brow furrowed and arms crossed.

Then he frowned: He'd had an odd sense of déjà vu as he'd met her skeptical gaze, but he couldn't quite place it...

"Nice weather we're having today, huh?"

The villain and hero turned towards the sound of a new voice, and saw a brown-haired man of about average height, who was somewhat lacking in the chin department and who was wearing what Shego, ever fashion conscious, would call a bargain basement outfit. Definitely a penny pincher.

Shego and Drakken stared at the stranger, who gave them a friendly grin.

"When the weather's like this, you know, bottled water always moves like hot cakes at Smarty Mart." He informed them, shaking his head. "I never understood why people waste their money on that stuff when you can get perfectly good water from the faucet at home."

Shego saw the blue man curling his lip in disgust. "Yes, that's...nice..."He said in a completely uninterested tone. Shego hoped the newcomer would take the hint and stop talking.

"Last week, all the disposable rain coats were sold out— talk about a waste of money! I usually just make my own out of plastic bags. Might as well if you're just gonna throw them out, anyway—"

"I...don't..._care_!" Drakken said tightly, his fingers curling into claws.

The man went on unheeded. "Oh, oh, but do you know how you can _really_ save a cent?"

"Why do some people _always_ have to attempt meaningless small talk with strangers at bus stops?"Shego burst out.

"Yes, I hate it when that happens!" Drakken agreed, rolling his eyes.

"Oh-kaaay," the stranger said, moving away discreetly. "My bus is here. See you nice folks another time, eh?"

"Good grief," Drakken huffed. "I'm glad I'm not on the same bus as _that _guy."

"What bus are you on, anyway?" She asked casually.

"That's none of your business!" Drakken said, narrowing his eyes with suspicion.

"Yeah, as if I'd bother wasting my time by stalking _you_?" She shot back, tossing her hair. "I doubt you're up to anything more nefarious than cow tipping or slashing tires."

"Hah! Dr. Drakken doesn't deal in small potatoes!" Drakken gloated. "I don't think you know who you're talking to! I'll have you know that I'm planning to—"

"—take over the world?"Shego interrupted him, unfazed. "Oh, please. Aviarius can't even take over _Go City_, and he's not the kind of villain who's stuck on public transport. You're minor league, Blue Boy. Do you even own a _car_?"

"It broke down, okay?" Drakken snapped, glowering at her. "Besides, _you're _here taking the bus too, aren't you?" He added triumphantly.

She glared, lips pursing in irritation; he had a good point, damn him. "I'm incognito," she muttered, not even convincing herself. It wasn't the first time she'd wished that heroes got paid. She was tired of sharing a car with her brothers.

He only raised his brow in disbelief, and before she could say anything more, another bus pulled up, and he turned to leave.

"You know," he said, as he got in line for the bus, "you seem pretty antisocial and cranky for a super hero. You're more like an anti-hero."

She stared after the bus as it left and until she couldn't see it anymore.

"Or like a villain," she murmured to herself before she got on her own bus to go back to Go Tower.

The next week, the Mayor's new car was stolen.

Through much coaxing and convincing, Hego managed to hush the whole thing up by reminding the Mayor how much Team Go had done for the city.

Shego found, after the incident was over, that she didn't feel guilty at all.

It had been a shiny, green convertible, and she was sick of public transport. How could she have resisted?

* * *

**2001**

* * *

"So, your hover car got trashed, huh?"

Drakken scrambled to his feet from where he'd been sitting on the bus stop bench, quickly moving a few steps back, body tense as he glowered at his enemy. "What do _you_ want?"

"Nothing, I was in the shop across the street and saw you here." Shego shrugged, grinning, as if she'd just spied an old friend and had decided to say hello, standing there in a regular top and jeans and her hair in a ponytail, as if she wasn't really a secret super hero. As if she hadn't been beating him up only an hour ago.

The bruises and scrapes were just beginning to make their presence felt, too, and weren't improving his mood at all.

"So this is what you do after ruining people's carefully laid plans? After destroying the weapons and robots they've slaved over for weeks?" He snarled, pointing a quivering finger at her. "Go out and have yourself some _fun shopping_?"

He expected her to throw some accusations back at him about how it was her _duty_ to protect the citizens of Go City from the _evil_ likes of _him_ or some such hero talk, but she only tilted her head at him, a smirk tugging at one side of her mouth. "You could stand to do some shopping yourself," she remarked, nodding at his ripped and scorched outfit.

"All right, that's_ it…_!"He said, fumbling in his pocket. "If I press this remote, my last remaining robots— the ones you and your goody-two-shoes brothers _didn't _rip apart— will appear and drag your annoying presence out of my sight." He threatened.

Shego raised an eyebrow; that was a weird thing to say. "Why are you even warning me? That makes it sound like you're not actually gonna do it or like you're going to let me get away. I'm calling your bluff," she challenged, hand on her hip.

Drakken hesitated. "Huh?"

"Where'd you get that hover car of yours, anyway?" She asked, deliberately changing the subject. This was one of the few times she'd gotten to talk to a super villain without her brothers around, and she was curious.

Drakken grimaced uncertainly, put off balance by her odd behavior. "I, uh…I built it?"

She gave a low whistle. "Not bad. Does it come in green?"

The villain seemed to snap out of her attempts at a conversation, then; getting flustered. "You're freaking me out! Wh-why aren't you carting me off to jail or something?"

She decided to go with honesty. No reason to kid a kidder. "Because I want to see what you'll come up with next week."

He gaped at her. "You're letting me escape just so you can get to beat me up again later? You're a _sadist_!"

_Maybe_, she thought, smirking to herself, _but mostly I'm just bored._ "Sadist? Me? This coming from the guy who tried to flood Go City today?" She reminded him, her tone flat.

"Exactly! What about the people I might hurt? The property I'll damage? Why do you want to give me the chance to do it again?" He asked, looking bewildered. "You're making me all morally confused here! What kind of hero _are_ you, anyway?"

"Come back next week and find out," she said cheerfully, as if inviting him over for tea or something.

"Ugh!" Drakken exclaimed in frustration, and pressed the button.

Shego's eyes widened. He. Actually. Pressed. The. Button.

"Well…looks like you can actually put your money where your mouth is," Shego said appreciatively, feeling mildly frightened for the first time she could remember since becoming a hero. It was a strangely appealing feeling; sort of uncomfortable, yet interesting. Impressive.

"Indeed." Drakken said dryly, as a long, robotic arm snapped out from behind a building and pulled Shego up, leaving her dangling in thin air, before the large, sphere-shaped robot thumped down the street, another, identical robot following after it.

Shego gasped, cursing and struggling as she was carried away. Her plasma lit up, and she started attacking the robot as best as she could from the awkward angle, trying to twist around in its grip. "Crap," she muttered; she knew she could get out of it, but after this, _she_ was probably going to need a new outfit, too.

"Sheesh! Super heroes…!" Drakken sighed and rolled his eyes as he sat back down at the bench to wait for the bus. After a second or two, he noticed that every single person on the street was frozen in place, gawking at him.

"What are _you_ people looking at? Do you want me to press the _button_ again?" He barked, and they scattered quickly, as if they'd suddenly remembered some important business they had to tend to somewhere else, far away from angry, blue men.

* * *

**2002**

* * *

Drakken was stuck in traffic. He'd opted for the van today because he had to go shopping and needed the space, but it had been a bad choice. The hover car wouldn't have been able to carry as much, but at least then he wouldn't have had to worry about the traffic.

He muttered and cursed and thrummed his fingers on the wheels, fiddled with the radio, found nothing good, turned it off again, thrummed and muttered some more—

"Hey! Dr. Drakken!"

He jumped in his seat, startled at the sudden voice. Disoriented, he looked out of the left window, then the right window—

"Oy...I'm down here, genius."Came the voice again, impatient this time.

Looking down, he saw the thorn in his side from last year, Shego, standing in her usual green and black cat suit in front of a bus stop.

She waved, grinning shamelessly. "Hego and Mego had taken the car and the jet already— mind if I hitch a ride so I don't have to wait for the bus?"

Drakken spluttered. "Me? Let _you_ hitch a ride? You were a nuisance to me all last year! I thought I'd seen the last of you! I _hoped_ I'd seen the last of you!"

"Awww, you know you missed me," she said, in a voice about as sweet as sulphuric acid, before she disappeared around his van.

He blinked, mystified— and then almost jumped in surprise again as the door on the passenger side was wrenched open and Shego leapt inside, flopping down into the seat next to his.

Drakken turned almost purple with outrage, so angry he could barely speak. "You— y-you have _some_ nerve if you think—"

She nodded. "I _do_ have some nerve...and I also have the address to your secret lair and a private line to the Go City police and Global Justice at Go Tower." She informed him, feeling smug.

He stared at her incredulously for a second or two before his gloved hands tightened on the steering wheel, the creak of leather accompanied by the sound of gnashing teeth. "Where are you headed?" He asked darkly through gritted teeth, trying to keep from exploding.

She leaned back in the seat, making herself comfortable, stretching her arms behind her head to lean on them. "Dr. Drakken's Secret Lair," she told him casually.

"_WHAT_?"

She shrugged. "I saw an ad in this week's copy of _Villainess_. 'Sidekick wanted', it said. I had a feeling you were gonna need an assistant soon, you know." He always seemed short on manpower whenever he pulled some evil stunt; his goofy henchmen certainly weren't much help.

His eyes were practically bugging out as he looked at her, as if he was trying to figure out if it was all a nightmare or not. "You? _You're_ coming about the ad? But you're a he—"

"One week," Shego said sharply, holding up a stern finger. "Trust me, Drakken. Give me _one_ week, and I'll show you how much of a hero I'm not. If I don't get at least a chance to _try_, Global Justice, Team Impossible and the police will get some very interesting phone calls."

There was a pregnant silence.

"One week," he echoed reluctantly. It _could_ perhaps be some pathetic attempt made by Team Go at infiltrating his evil business, but...he had to admit there was something about her that set her apart from the other heroes, and he was getting curious despite himself. Besides, he didn't really have much of a choice.

The traffic jam finally began to budge.

* * *

**2006**

* * *

"Trying to catch the bus while wearing a bright orange prison suit? Not the best idea, Doc."

His face lit up as he got to his feet from the bus stop bench. "Shego! You made it!" They'd been separated during all the chaos that usually went with a prison break, and he'd been afraid she might've been captured again.

"Did you ever _doubt_ it?"Shego said, leaning casually out the car door window, grinning in a self-content kind of way. "Now hop in, Dr. D."

He hurried over to the other side of the car and got in. "Good work, Shego." He told her earnestly, once he'd buckled himself down safely in the passenger seat; they might have a bumpy ride ahead if the police or even Kim Possible gave chase.

Shego gave a curt nod and a non-committal grunt as acknowledgement of the praise before putting the car in reverse, looking over her shoulder while pulling out of the bus stop.

Drakken sighed as he leaned back in the car seat. It was at times like these that he was happy she'd been as forward and obnoxious as she'd been that time, when she'd blackmailed him into giving her a trial period for the job as sidekick.

Getting her as a sidekick was one of the best strokes of luck he'd ever had, an oasis in a desert of bad luck. He hated to admit it, but he'd needed a sidekick badly...and he'd also been lonely, which he was even less inclined to admit. It was one of the reasons why he'd put out that ad in the first place.

But there was no shame in it, really. No man was an island, after all. She was difficult to handle every day, but she was worth it. Having somebody to watch your back was reassuring. He wasn't quite sure what he would've done if she hadn't come by. The nearest lair was still a long way away.

"Yeah, why didn't _you_ think about stealing a car?" She asked as she turned from reverse to first gear and they headed down the road.

Drakken pouted. "You know I'm no good at hotwiring and all that stuff, Shego. I'm a scientist, not a mechanic or a professional car thief."

"Apparently." Her tone was dry.

She'd been in prison enough times for the authorities to have learned to put her in a cell that could withstand her plasma powers, so she hadn't been able to get out alone since the first couple of times.

This time, Dr. D had managed to put together some sort of explosive, and had been the one to bust them out. While she was impressed at what he'd been able to do with so few resources at hand, she also felt a little embarrassed at having to rely on him...and then, they'd been separated and her first thought had been to be worried, which she hated. She never worried; not like this.

She'd been sure he'd get himself captured again; he was good at the science stuff, but common sense wasn't exactly his forte, which he'd just proved. And again, she wasn't quite sure whether to feel relieved or annoyed. On the one hand, his silliness frustrated her, but on the other hand...it felt good to be the one having to come to his rescue again, the way things usually were, instead of _being_ rescued.

And yeah...the whole not having to worry anymore was kind of okay.

"Whatever," he muttered, running a hand through his hair; there was a twig in it, from when they'd had to hide in some bushes. He made a face and threw it out the window. "Now...which lair are we going to go to? Did you find out anything from talking to the new inmates?"

Shego grimaced. "Ugh, yeah...Killigan said the word was that your Caribbean lair was repossessed since uh, you haven't exactly been paying the rent as of late."

Drakken groaned. "Oh, for crying out loud— fine, what else?"

She glanced at him, frowning before she went on. "He also said the Middleton lair is...um, I think it had been bought up by HenchCo and turned into a new training facility for rookie henchmen."

"Gah! But we've only been gone for three months and— nnggh!"He gritted his teeth, trying to get a hold of himself. "Okay, okay, so...where are we supposed to go?" He asked, his voice a little strained as he dragged a hand down his face, sighing.

"Well...Dementor said the timeshare lair is still available..."She ventured tentatively, already knowing what his answer would be.

"Nooo! Not the timeshare lair!" Drakken moaned, clutching his head.

Shego hurried to speak, trying to keep him from throwing a tantrum about it. "It'd only be temporary, and it's not like we have any other—"

"I can't _believe_ this!"Drakken yelled, his fists coming down on the dashboard on the passenger side with two dull thumps. "I finally manage to escape from prison after almost _three whole months_, only to find that I have no decent base of operations anymore!"

Shego's eyes stared straight ahead at the road, her fingers tightening at the wheel as she began to count backwards from ten. She was _not_ in the mood for this. She was tired, sweaty, bruised, her hair was a mess and her prison suit was covered in grass stains— but of course he wasn't considering her at all.

He scoffed. "Oh, sure, maybe the rent was a _little_ bit overdue—"

"Four months," Shego interjected, sotto voce.

Drakken went on ranting, not noticing her comment. "—but that doesn't mean they can just— doesn't anybody have any _respect_ anymore? How am I supposed to get back on my feet now? I _hate_ that stupid timeshare lair—"

"Look, Doc," Shego snapped, taking a hard left at the next turn, incidentally rattling Drakken in his seat, "I'm not any happier about this than you are, but you don't see me whining about it! Why don't you just suck it up and get over it! This is how things are, and all we can do is to try to make the best of them! And if you keep whining, I swear I'll let you out _right now_, and you can _walk_ the rest of the way home!"

Drakken stared at her for a second or two before turning demonstratively in his seat to look out the window— anywhere but at her— his arms crossing tightly over his chest, his lips pursing and jaw clenching.

"Oh, that's just marvellous," he mumbled bitterly, "first my lairs are stolen from me, and now my own sidekick is threatening me! All I need now for the cherry on top is a flat tire, Kim Possible chasing me or finding out that all my equipment was repossessed, too!"

Shego winced. "Um, yeah, about that..."

He gasped. "Even the things we...outsourced?"

She made a disbelieving sound in her throat. "Doy! Of _course_ the things we _stole_!"

"Aaargghh! Why can't things ever go my way for once?" He bellowed, pulling at his hair in frustration, his voice breaking just a little. It took a moment for her to realize that he was sniffling, and when she glanced over at him, she saw tears pooling in his eyes, his face half-turned away from her like he was embarrassed.

She let out a heavy sigh. "Yeesh! C'mon, Dr. D...you're too old to cry!" She scolded, finally getting fed up.

Drakken blinked, turning his head slowly to look at her again.

She blinked back, raising an eyebrow at him before her attention flickered back to the road. "What?"

He shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him; soon, he was laughing out loud.

"Whaaa-_at_?" She demanded impatiently, elbowing him a little.

"Nothing, Shego, nothing," he said, smiling crookedly. "Just thought of something funny, that's all."

"Whatever," she mumbled, rolling her eyes; first he was miserable, and then he was laughing his head off. Who knew what went on in her eccentric employer's head, anyway? Not for the first time, she wondered if maybe he was bipolar or something.

Suddenly, Drakken felt hopeful again, for some reason. She hadn't done anything in particular, but she was there, and that seemed to be enough. Things would be okay even if they were down on their luck.

Now...how to express those thoughts in words that she wouldn't make fun of?

Ah...right.

"Thank you, Shego," he said, and she looked surprised and confused, but she also smiled, if only briefly, before they could hear sirens in the distance and she stepped hard on the gas.

Maybe that little girl had been right. Maybe there was nothing to cry about; maybe the bad guys _would_ win one day.

**The End.**

* * *

**Author's note:** The ending is all kinds of sap.

Thanks to my wonderful beta, Charlotte C. Be sure to read and review her new, excellent D/S fic, _Long Strange Trip_. Really. Do it.

Like _The Uncanny Valley_, this is also about Drakken and Shego before the series started, but unlike _The Uncanny Valley_, this story is more focused on the times _before_ they started working together rather than the period _after_ they'd begun working together. However, _The Uncanny Valley _and_ Bus Stops _are not related at all as stories.

I just liked the thought of pitting Drakken and Shego against each other during her hero days. Hey, it might've happened, hahah.

The chronology of KP is, like that of most cartoons, very vague, so I made it easy for myself: The final episode was supposed to be set in 2007 (that's what it said on the Graduation banner, anyway), so I'm simply counting backwards from that. 2006 is supposed to be season 3.

* * *


	5. Trypanophobia

**Trypanophobia**

By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** It's time for the annual Evil Family Company Physical Examination. Drakken and Shego. General/humor. Season 4, pre-_Odds Man In_.

* * *

It was time for the annual Evil Family Company Physical Examination…and as always, Shego dreaded the blood sample, because _every_ _single year_, she had to go through the same thing. _Every single year_—

"Shego? Um, Shego, could you come in here for a minute?"

All the henchmen had already had their appointments yesterday, and now, Dr. Drakken himself was in there with the nurse.

Shego gave an ardent groan and put down the magazine she'd been reading while waiting for her turn.

"Not _again_," she muttered, to no one in particular, "why does he always have to…ugh…"

Getting up, she walked towards the door and met the apprehensive gaze of her employer, who'd popped his head in the waiting room to call for her.

His brow was wrinkled from nerves and his face was a paler shade of blue than normally.

"Yes, Dr. D, what is it?" She asked, but the question was entirely rhetorical, because she added, somewhat nastily: "As if I don't know already."

Drakken gave her a scowl, but it wasn't as fierce as usual. "There's no need to make this any harder than it already is."

Shego gave a long, exaggerated sigh. "You know, it's kind of ironic that you can rain destruction down upon a city without batting an eye, but can't stand the sight of your own blood."

Drakken hmmpph'ed. "The nurse says that a lot of people have a phobia for needles and blood. It's very common."

"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that same speech every year since I got this job," Shego waved her hand dismissively, as she followed him into the next room with an embellished reluctance. "Now let's just get this over with, okay?"

* * *

"Hello, Miss Shego!"

"Hey, Kerry," Shego replied in greeting as she trailed after Drakken into the room.

Beatrice Kerry was a large, blond lady of about fifty-five, and had been in Drakken's employ since before Shego had started working for him. The nurse was friendly, cheerful, loved her job and seemed to have endless supplies of patience— which was why she was perfect for handling the nervous wreck that was Drakken right before a physical, and why Shego, her complete opposite, _wasn't_.

Sometimes Shego wondered how the nurse, who seemed to be the very epitome of 'a nice person', had ended up working for a super villain, but she usually didn't care enough to remember to ask.

"I see you've decided to join us this year as well," The nurse said conversationally as she ushered Drakken into the chair, winking at Shego.

"Yeah, wow," Shego said in a dull tone. "You know me, I just can't stay away from all the _fun_."

The nurse's laughter was like a babbling brook, her large bosom shaking with it. "It's a laugh a minute here, all right," she said, and winked again, with the air of somebody who'd seen many strange and unusual things in her job, but had found them amusing rather than depressing.

Shego walked over to Drakken and leaned against the back of his chair, sighing. It was too early in the morning to deal with somebody as upbeat as Nurse Kerry.

"Please roll up your sleeve, dear," Nurse Kerry told Drakken, and it was a testament to how anxious he was feeling that he didn't even reprimand the nurse for calling her boss 'dear'.

"Okay…" Drakken said tentatively, squirming in his chair like a kid at the Principal's office, before he slowly began pulling back his sleeve.

"Come on, Doc," Shego chided. "I don't wanna be here all day."

Drakken glared at her; couldn't she have at least a _little_ sympathy for his condition? He opened his mouth, about to retort—

"Now, now," Beatrice interjected quickly, sensing the impending fight, "just let him take his time."

"Ugh, I dunno how you put up with this— and after all those henchmen, too," Shego dragged her hand through her hair.

"I'm used to it, honey," the nurse explained calmly. "Are you ready now, Dr. Drakken?"

Drakken swallowed, looking even paler than before. "I don't feel so good…"

"It's gonna be okay, Doc," Shego droned dutifully, patting his shoulder as she watched the clock on the wall ticking away the seconds.

Inwardly, she sighed; she was sure he wanted sympathy and comfort from her, but it was kind of hard to find the energy to drum up any tenderness when she'd been dragged out of bed at 7 am for this and she felt like he wasn't even _trying_ to make an effort to get over this problem of his. Drakken hadn't even been in the nurse's office for a _minute_ before he'd called for her help. Besides, she wasn't really cut out for moral support; she'd never been good at the mushy stuff in any case, it just made her uncomfortable— and hey, she was his _sidekick_, not his _mother_, right?

Drakken hesitated at the tone of her voice. He knew that tone; it meant she was attempting to keep her impatience and anger under check. "Um, Shego?"He ventured, feeling like he was about to do something stupid. She'd probably say no, but he was a ball of nerves already and figured he didn't have anything to lose.

_Oh, jeez, what now? _"Yes, Dr. D?"

"You don't think you could…"He gulped, staring at the needles on the little table next to his chair. "You don't think maybe you could…hold my hand, do you?"

Shego blinked in surprise; the four years she'd been accompanying him already— this being the fifth— he'd never asked her _that_ before. Her jaw set in determination, then, as she decided it was high time for him to pull himself together. "Dr. D, don't you think you're exaggerating just a little?"Shego pointed out, trying to make him see reason. "You're supposed to be a _grown man_, here!"

"But I feel so…my tummy hurts," he whimpered, cringing.

Shego gave a small groan and slipped her hand into his; he clutched it like a lifeline, his fingers curling around hers. She immediately felt soft for giving in to his childish request like that, but he actually didn't look very good, and she supposed holding his hand couldn't hurt.

"It's no wonder your mom treats you like a kid, Dr. D— when you still _act_ like one."She said, unable to keep herself from commenting; trying to distract herself from the unsettling feeling worming around in her chest, something almost like mild concern— and he didn't_ deserve_ concern, he just needed to get a grip on himself. He was_ forty-two_, for crying out loud! "If you wanted somebody to hold your hand, you _might as well_ have asked your mom along."

"Ixnay on the other-may in front of the urse-nay," Drakken hissed.

"Oh, gee, you don't suppose maybe the nurse _knows_ pig Latin, do ya?" Shego said dryly, shaking her head.

"Just…be quiet." Drakken muttered, squeezing her hand in warning.

Nurse Kerry seemed to take their bickering perfectly in stride, humming to herself as she prepared the beakers and the needle.

As the nurse pulled the strap around Drakken's arm and tightened it, looking for a suitable vein to tap, Drakken tensed up even more than before, scooting backwards in his chair, almost imperceptibly, until his shoulder bumped into Shego's hip. His stomach clenched, and he made a strangled little gurgle in his throat, starting to get the urge to throw up. He tightened his grip on Shego's hand.

"Oh, good grief," Shego exclaimed, grabbing his chin and forcibly turning his head away. "Don't look at it if it makes you sick, you idiot."

Drakken only moaned, making a face as he leaned further into her side without even being aware of it.

As the needle pierced his skin, his face turned back, his gaze dropping to his arm; he turned almost as pale as Shego, his stomach lurching and cheeks bulging slightly at the sight of his own blood being lead up the thin needle and into the glass beaker, and the world seemed to tilt for a second—

—but then his face was pulled to the side again sternly, so he couldn't watch anymore, Shego's annoyed voice scolding him. He didn't quite catch what she said, but the voice was bracing, and so was her hand in his; her presence helped a little. "Is it over yet?" He wondered weakly, head limp against her side.

"Yeah, soon. So just hang in there, Tiger," she told him sarcastically. She knew he probably thought she was being too harsh, but she was only doing it for his own good. If she just babied him instead, how did he expect to ever get over this? She certainly wasn't keen on repeating this whole dreary business again next year; she tried not to examine the fact that she expected to still be working for him next year too closely.

Drakken gave no other response than an ornery grunt; feeling embarrassed, but too dizzy to get properly angry.

"All right, we're done now!" Nurse Kerry declared, smiling as she pressed a ball of cotton against the wound and secured it with medical tape.

"Oh, goodie," Drakken said feebly, trying and failing at a smile.

"You don't look very good, Dr. Drakken," the nurse remarked, looking worried, "I think you'd better lie down. I'll call for my assistant to take Miss Shego's sample, if that's okay?" She went on, glancing at Shego, who looked back indifferently and nodded.

"Brandon!" Nurse Kerry shouted, and soon after, a slightly scruffy looking young man in scrubs came walking in.

"Yeah?" He said and yawned, looking like he'd been up too late the night before.

"Would you be so good as to take Miss Shego's blood sample while I tend to Dr. Drakken?" Nurse Kerry chirped, all smiles.

"Uh, yeah, no problem," the assistant called Brandon mumbled, glancing reluctantly at the patient.

Shego looked at him appraisingly; he seemed new on the job, and had to be at least five years younger than herself. She was about to complain about why she was being stuck with Dr. Doogie instead of getting the much more seasoned nurse, but held her tongue. The sooner they got out of there, the better. She just hoped Dr. D wasn't planning on throwing up or anything.

"Are you feeling all right, Dr. Drakken?" The nurse asked as she drew apart a curtain at the back of the room and helped him onto a standard gurney bed behind it.

Drakken only groaned, grimacing as he laid down.

"Do you need a bucket, Dr. Drakken?" Nurse Kerry suggested mildly.

"Um…" Drakken drew a deep breath, turning paler yet at the thought of vomit. A glance from Shego, complete with narrowed eyes and curling lip, told him that she _definitely_ wouldn't appreciate it if he lost his lunch— or, rather, breakfast— right in front of her. Clenching his jaw, he managed to keep it under control.

"Or maybe some cookies and some juice?" The nurse went on.

Drakken brightened, immediately interested. "Did you say _cookies_?"

Shego lifted an eyebrow at her employer. "I thought people usually got cookies when donating blood at the Red Cross, not when tapping blood as part of a routine physical exam."

Drakken accepted the bag of cookies from the nurse and sent Shego a snooty look. "I'm the boss, and if I _want_ there to be cookies, there _will be_ cookies."

Shego rolled her eyes.

* * *

"So, uh…you're a super villain?"

Shego looked up at the nurse's assistant from her chair. "Villai_ness_." She informed him firmly.

"Oh, right…yeah, villainess." Brandon chuckled, awkward. "But, um, just a question…what kinda super powers do you have?"

Shego gave him a suspicious look. "Why?"

"I mean, the needles aren't gonna break off on your skin like they did when the doctor tried to give Superman a flu shot or something in the first issue of _Action Comics_, right? I'd hate to end up with a piece of needle stuck in my…eye…?" His voice trailed off lamely.

When Shego only gave him a blank look that nevertheless managed to tell him _exactly_ what she thought about him _and_ his question, Brandon cleared his throat and picked up the needle.

"Uh…yeah, thought not." Brandon mumbled; then he paused as another thought seemed to occur to him, and he looked vaguely excited about it when he spoke. "What about your blood? Is that green, too? Or maybe even acidic?"

"You read too many comic books, kid. What's with the twenty questions?" Shego was starting to sound irritable, now.

"Yes, how did you even _get_ this job, anyway?"Drakken interrupted. He was now sitting up on the gurney bed, watching them with interest and eating a cookie, like a moviegoer munching popcorn. He was also looking decidedly less pale.

The nurse's assistant lifted both eyebrows in surprise. "_You_ hired me, sir. I'm Brandon Hench."

Drakken blinked. "Who?"

"Brandon Hench, Jack Hench's nephew…?" The young man prompted hopefully.

"Doesn't ring a bell." Drakken shrugged. "I hire people all the time. Hard to keep track of everybody."

"He promised you a discount if you gave me the job…?" Brandon ventured.

A light of recognition flickered on in Drakken's eyes. "Ah. Right. Brandon Hench."

"I'm gonna need you to roll up your sleeve, ma'am," Brandon told Shego, when he'd prepared the needle.

"_Miss_!" Shego snapped; if it was one thing she hated, it was being called ma'am. She wasn't even twenty-eight yet!

"Oh, right, sorry. _Miss_," Brandon corrected himself sheepishly, and she glowered at him before rolling up her sleeve.

Unable to look away even though he knew he should, for his own good, Drakken stared with morbid fascination as Brandon tightened the strap around Shego's arm and prodded her skin for a suitable vein; Drakken gulped and shivered as the assistant nodded and picked up the needle.

When Brandon stuck the needle in Shego's pale arm, Drakken finally winced and looked away.

"See?" Shego said in a bored voice, once Brandon was done. "I don't know why you had to make such a fuss about it, it's just blood," she continued, turning her head to point at the beakers of her own blood that the nurse's assistant had tapped for her. "I mean, really, Dr. D, why do you have to be such a—"

Drakken gasped, his fourth cookie dropping from his hand to the floor as Shego suddenly fell silent, her head lolling to the side, her eyes rolling back in her head, her body sagging and her arms dangling limply by her sides. "Shego…?" He called to her in a small voice.

"Oh, dear," Nurse Kerry said, walking over to her patient and patting her cheek, before shaking her carefully. "She's fainted."

Drakken started to panic a little. "Shego? _Fainted_? But— but she _never_ faints! What did you _do_ to her?" He demanded, shaking the shocked Brandon roughly by his collar.

Looking undisturbed by the turn of events, Nurse Kerry gently pushed the two men apart. "Most people don't faint very often, Dr. Drakken," she explained. "But that doesn't mean they never do." She patted his arm. "Now, I'm _sure_ she just got a little woozy from looking at the blood. It happens. We should just lie her down on the bed for a while."

Brandon nodded and went to pick his patient up, but Drakken sneered and pushed past him. "I don't _think_ so, newbie."

Gingerly picking up his unconscious sidekick, Drakken was surprised at how light she was. It was strange to think that she was so much smaller in size than him since she was so much stronger; however, the thought crossed his mind only briefly before he deposited her on the flat leather bed.

Shego stirred slightly at the contact, grunting, and Drakken looked back at Nurse Kerry and Brandon. "Uh…I think maybe you shouldn't be here when she wakes up." He said meaningfully.

"Why?"Brandon wondered. "I mean, _we're_ the trained professiona—"

There was a muffled yelp as Beatrice discreetly elbowed Brandon's ribs. "Whatever you say, Dr. Drakken," she said, pulling her assistant— who didn't know Miss Shego like their regular nurse did— with her out the door. "Holler if you need anything."

* * *

When Shego woke up, she felt like she was wearing a lead vest and that some invisible hand was pressing down on her forehead, hard. She moaned, moving a little to touch her fingers to her face, but decided against doing anything more drastic at the moment.

"Shego? Are you all right?"

Squinting, she caught sight of Dr. D, hovering near the gurney bed. She gave a heartfelt, embarrassed groan. "Please don't tell me I did what I _think_ I did."

"I'm afraid so," Drakken said, allowing a little self-righteousness to enter his voice now that he could see that she was okay again. Served her right for making light of his phobia earlier….!

"Where's the nurse? And that kid?" Shego asked, sounding a little groggy, but defiantly trying to sit up.

"I asked them to leave." Drakken told her, grinning a little. "I figured I'd salvage the remains of your reputation as Miss Cool and Composed."

"Funny," she grunted, letting herself slump back onto the bed, throwing an arm across her face. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you'll be a blue, crispy critter if you tell anybody about this."

Ignoring her idle threat, he peered at her closely. "You didn't make sure to have some breakfast before you came here, like the nurse told you to do…did you?" He asked eventually, sounding like he was trying to be sneaky.

"So I overslept…big deal." Her tone was peevish.

"I _knew_ it!" He blurted, feeling triumphant. "You do that _every_ year! You know, I knew _something_ was going to happen eventually—"

"Well, maybe if you didn't schedule things so darn _early_…" She groused.

He put his hands on his hips, frowning at her. "I just wanted to get it done early so we'd still have a working day left afterwards."

"You expect me to work _now_?" She gaped; how could he act like she was unfeeling and then turn around and demand something that inconsiderate of her?

"You mean to say you're feeling too _weak_ to work?" He teased, jumping at the opportunity; he knew her pride wouldn't allow her to take the rest of the day off.

"Ugh, fine!" She grumbled, rubbing the side of her face. "Just gimme a few minutes…"

"I got you some cookies and some juice."He offered, holding the food out to her.

"Yeah, that's a _really_ healthy breakfast," Shego scoffed, but she grabbed the juice box from his hand, opening it and taking a long drink, forcing herself to sit up.

"You're welcome!" Drakken snapped, miffed that she wasn't thanking him for being considerate enough to think of her and bring her food.

They glared at each other for a while.

"At least I didn't whine like a baby." She muttered, reproachful.

"At least I didn't faint like a Southern belle." He retorted smugly.

"Oh, shut up and gimme the stupid cookies."

**The End.**

* * *

**Author's note: **I was suddenly inspired to write this today, and just jotted it down quickly. Feel free to correct any typos/misspellings/grammatical errors.

I had my blood sample taken today for a physical, and was suddenly reminded of an incident about ten years ago when I went to do the same. The strange thing about it was that I'd actually been feeling perfectly fine, hadn't been feeling nervous or nauseous or anything at all beforehand or during, but when the nurse was done taking the sample, I suddenly fainted. I didn't even notice that I'd fainted, I just sort of _woke up_ from it. And I was very puzzled since I'd been feeling fine.

Later, I suspected that it had been the sight of the four and a half beakers of my own blood that had done it, which I'd seen when I'd happened to glance to the side.

And before you ask— no, I didn't get any cookies.

**EDIT: **Upon re-reading this story, I felt that I hadn't been quite clear on what Shego's motives were for acting like she acted, so I've rewritten the story just slightly, adding a few clarifying lines. Hope you'll like it.

**EDIT, July 11th 2008: **I made a big boo boo by saying that Superman was in the first issue of _Detective Comics_. It was _Action Comics_. I can't believe nobody's commented on it so far, heh.

**I also gave Nurse Kerry a first name; Beatrice.**

**Trypanophobia: **The fear of injections.

Credits go to **Artemis** for coming up with a title for me, and I thank her for doing a quick beta reading for me, too. Thank you for putting up with all the trouble we had with sending files to each other.

* * *


	6. Particle Man

**Particle Man**

_(AKA __The One That Never Happened)_

By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary: **It's the end of the world. No, _really_ this time. Post-Graduation, Drakken/Shego.

* * *

After Drakken had saved the world from the Lorwardians, he'd enjoyed much praise and respect from the world in general.

The villain community gossiped about him, however, saying he'd 'gone soft'. Muttering that he'd never go back to his evil ways now, and good riddance to him.

When the rumours reached him, the peer pressure did nothing at all to alleviate the fact that he could tell that Shego was getting impatient and bored over the recent lack of evil activities.

In other words, he became an irritated ball of nerves and performance anxiety.

Well...that, and he was just plain bored, too. He was cashing in on lectures and guest speaking and his plant formula, but he was starting to miss the good old days— i.e. about a month ago— and so was Shego. He could practically smell her restiveness in the air. He had a feeling she'd leave sooner or later, and couldn't seem to find a way to tell her how he felt in order to make her stay.

So one day, Drakken gained access to the wreckage of the Lorwardian ships that was now stored at Middleton Institute of Science and Technology— which wasn't that difficult for the now renowned scientist who'd saved the world.

After spending a day or two going through the Lorwardian technology, he stumbled across a tiny cube, which— he found out by accident— when prodded with this glowing doo-dad like so, unfolded like a flower into the largest cannon he'd ever seen.

He had no idea what it would do. All he knew was that it would most likely be dangerous and impressive, so he had Shego guard the entrance to the lab at the Institute and decided to try it.

And that's were it all went pear-shaped.

* * *

Shego was spending all the time she could out in the sun, and when the sun went down, she spent all the time she could dancing and drinking and eating.

She was sure she'd gained at least three pounds from eating whatever the hell she wanted for over a week, but with an athletic body like hers, you'd hardly be able to tell, anyway.

Besides...the world was going to go under in about a week, once the black holes got big enough, so who cared, right?

When she awoke on the floor of her hotel room one Tuesday morning with a family-sized Toblerone in one hand and a half-finished bottle of Tequila in the other, however, she decided she'd had enough partying.

It was time to go home...and then home.

* * *

Two days later, Shego interrupted Drakken's frantic research for a solution to the black hole problem as she walked into his lab, dropping her suitcase on the floor with a loud thump.

Drakken looked up, blinking in an utterly disoriented manner before surprise and joy registered on his face. "Shego?" He asked brightly, hope swelling in his chest.

Shego didn't bother with any greetings or explanations, however. "Okay, Dr. D, I've done some very serious thinking, and I've come to a rational conclusion." Shego said briskly as she crossed the floor towards him.

"Hmm?" Drakken frowned, putting down the notepad he'd been scribbling on.

Shego stopped in front of him, her hands settling on her hips. "You're an idiot and I'm gonna hate you until the end of time for dooming us all like this, but seeing as the end of time is actually just one week away from now, I've decided to make the most of it."

Drakken's face fell, his stomach twisting. She was here to tell him that she was quitting, that she was hooking up with some beach hunk— why was she even wasting time to come here and tell him? Did she want to crush his spirit as revenge for endangering the planet so his last week of life would be as miserable as possible or what?

Before she'd left, he'd thought they'd_ had_ something, something that would develop into something even more, but now—

Shego had been gone for more than a week already, and he'd been all alone. Spending the remaining one week of his existence alone, too, was _not_ a sunny prospect.

There were still some businesses open because there were plenty of people who believed the scientists were going to save them all before it was too late, so Drakken had sent his mother on a Caribbean cruise from Florida so she could enjoy her last days and he could work in peace...and she was blissfully unaware of the looming end of the world. Therefore, if Shego abandoned him for good, he'd be alone most of the time he had left...and even though he loved his mother, she wasn't exactly his first choice for company to keep before meeting Ragnarok, in any case.

Shego cleared her throat delicately, squirming a little. "Hoo boy, this _really_ isn't easy to say..."

Drakken swallowed. He was sure it would be much less easy to _hear_.

"Um, you see...the fact is..." Shego pressed out, looking down as she started to pace. "The thing is that...and _believe_ me, I _so_ wouldn't be saying this right now if it wasn't for...y'know, the end of the world...but see, the thing is that...that I...I like you, in several different ways...including _that_ one. " She had to take a deep breath before she could continue, then, feeling a little dizzy after letting out those very momentous words. "So I figure _this_ is where I should be spending my time now, not overeating ice cream and getting sand stuck on my butt."

There was a long stretch of silence as they simply stared at each other.

"What? Me? You?" Drakken blurted out, then, as reality caught up with him. "I mean...you _do_?"

"One week, Doc," Shego reminded him sharply. "Don't make this any more difficult for me by asking stupid questions."

Drakken gawked at her for a moment before his mouth snapped shut. Then he gave a small cough. "I, um...I don't know what to say."

She groaned, slapping her forehead. "Of _course_ you do!"

He stared at her; she glared back.

"I...I feel the same way." He stammered out eventually.

Shego's annoyed expression disintegrated and she gave him a look of nervous, but pleased surprise. "Okay," she said, cheeks glowing a bit.

"So...what do we do now?" Drakken asked tentatively, beginning to fidget.

"We don't waste time," Shego said in a firm tone, licking her lips as she advanced on him.

By the time she'd reached him, Drakken was already mesmerized.

She smelled like sun and slightly like sun lotion, and her hands were warm on his face. Judging by the faint circles under her eyes, she'd gotten about as little sleep as him lately, and the thought was somehow reassuring.

Her lips parted, and approached his.

Then she halted, her nose wrinkling. "...ewww, you _stink_! When was the last time you brushed your _teeth_? Or _showered_? Or _shaved_?"

"Well, _excuse_ _me_!" Drakken snapped. "I guess I was too busy trying to save the world— _again_!— to be very concerned about personal hygiene!"

"_You're_ the one who put the world in peril to _begin _with!" She barked.

"But I'm _trying_ to—"

"Okay, mister, you're coming with me," Shego said through gritted teeth, dragging him off to the bathroom.

* * *

An hour or so later, they were lying entwined on the couch, naked under the worn tartan blanket that'd somehow followed them around from lair to lair since 2003.

"That was...fantastic..." Drakken murmured, looking in wide-eyed awe up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, it was pretty hot," Shego agreed with a feline smirk. "Must've been the overhanging sense of danger. Sorta lends a bit of urgency to it all, hmmm?"

"Shego, uh..." Drakken said shyly, playing with her hair. "I've always kind of wanted to...um, well, you know...with you...on my workbench. I just didn't think it'd actually happen."

"Really?" Shego chuckled, her face reddening a little.

Drakken quickly back-pedalled, growing embarrassed: "Uh, when I say 'always', I don't actually mean— I mean, not _always_, just...you know, after I _realized_—"

"Don't ruin the moment, doofus," she said, and kissed him.

"You know, maybe we should've done this sooner—" He began regretfully, but she cut him off.

"Yeah, well, we didn't, okay?" Shego muttered, but there was a note of regret in her voice, too. "So drop the wistfulness and let's go for round two. Time's a-wastin'."

* * *

After a while, Drakken left Shego sleeping on the couch and got up, absentmindedly going to his room and pulling on a clean change of clothes.

Shego had simply passed out from lack of sleep, and he knew he should be about ready to do the same, but he'd found himself unable to sleep.

His mind was buzzing, gears turning like crazy, propelling him up and finally out the door towards the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology. After the catastrophe had become a fact and they'd figured out that Drakken was the culprit, the Institute had kicked him out and denied him access to the Lorwardian technology, claiming he'd only 'bungle up things even worse' if he tried to help them. How exactly he was supposed to be able to make things _worse _after having already _created black holes that would swallow up the Earth in an extremely foreseeable future_ was beyond his understanding, though.

The Institute had also tried to call the police, but it wasn't easy to catch a villain who had super plant powers and a plasma-wielding sidekick at his disposal.

Shego had left after that, however, angry and exasperated, and since the Institute had put Global Justice and the buffoon with his mystical monkey powers to guard the Lorwardian technology, he couldn't get in anymore.

By now, however...he was certain they were getting desperate enough to listen to him.

If he'd been working tirelessly to find a solution _before_, even without access to the Institute, he certainly wasn't going to give up _now_! Not after— not when she'd said— not when he'd finally found—

Other scientists were also working around the clock to solve the problem, but they knew little about Lorwardian technology.

Drakken didn't know all that much, either, but a couple of memories from the time he'd spent on the Lorwardian ship were nagging at his brain, and he was going to follow their lead.

It was clear that he was on to something, and the people who were trying and failing at finding a solution finally let him in.

* * *

Shego had been sleeping peacefully for ten hours straight when she was suddenly being shaken awake, an overenthusiastic voice calling her name over and over and trying to tell her something.

"Wha...what?" Shego mumbled groggily, squinting up at what she eventually identified as Drakken's face as her eyes un-blurred a little.

"Shego! I did it! I saved us all!" Drakken declared gleefully, bursting with pride and excitement.

Shego reached up to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Huh?" She asked, yawning.

"It was so _easy_ once I figured it out!" He laughed. "Here, get dressed!" He said, shoving some bundled-up garments into her hands. "I can't wait to show you! Hurry! Come outside to the hover car!" He called over his shoulder as he scurried back out of the room.

Yawning again, Shego stretched her limbs, put on her underwear and her usual cat suit, and staggered towards the exit, idly scratching her neck and picking up her hairbrush on her way out.

Normally, she would've been annoyed to have been woken up like that, but what with the black holes and having just gotten naked with Drakken of all people, things just felt too bizarre and hazy for her to get properly angry.

Besides, she was too curious not to follow.

* * *

"Come on, Shego!" Drakken whooped, practically skipping along like some excited kid at the fair.

Shego trailed after him at a leisurely pace, brushing her hair as she went.

When Drakken pushed open the double doors that lead into the large observatory, Shego suddenly knew why there had been no security guards.

They were too busy partying with the scientists.

Champagne corks were popping, beer bottles were clinking together in celebratory toasts, everybody was acting almost as giddy as Drakken, and what sounded like some sort of _Greatest Hits of The Eighties_ album was being played at a ridiculously high volume over a ridiculously humongous speaker system.

'_She blinded me with science!_

_And failed me in geometry!__'_

The music barely drowned out the sound from the huge monitor that was blaring the news.

Shego gawked, not even noticing that she'd dropped her hairbrush in surprise.

But Drakken didn't stop there. Putting his arm around her shoulders, he pushed her forwards into the next room, a vast laboratory slash storage space, where all the salvaged Lorwardian technology was kept.

Letting go of her, he hurried towards a wide table and picked something up.

"Look, look, look!" Drakken squealed as he pushed a flat, plastic-like object towards her. Shego looked down and blinked. It looked kind of like a miniature laptop or an...an electric dictionary...?

"See here," Drakken pressed, opening the device and punching a few glowing keys in rapid succession. There was a cheerful little bleeping sound, and then rows of gibberish turned up on the screen— vaguely resembling some sort of strange fusion between hieroglyphs, runes and kanji— followed by _Lorwardian to English/English to Lorwardian Dictionary_ in bold letters.

Shego's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me."

"No!" Drakken chuckled. "It just makes so much sense, doesn't it? I mean, the aliens were speaking almost perfect English, and I highly doubt that's their native language, so I figured they'd have to have something like this!"

Shego blinked; she wasn't quite following why he was so happy about finding this dictionary. "And...?"

"And I translated the inscriptions on the buttons on the Particle Cannon! And we even found a manual for it!" Drakken announced triumphantly. "It took me a while and a lot of guesswork, but I finally did it! They had that stupid 'Off Switch' on their ship, so I thought...they must have some sort of...off switch or something for this, too, and I found it!" Again, he laughed. "Can you believe it? Nobody could figure it out before because it was just too _easy_!"

With a flourish, he stepped aside and pointed at the Particle Cannon.

Squinting, Shego saw that he'd written _REVERSE SWITCH_ with black marker in large letters above a big, round, red button.

She could only stare in disbelief.

"BEHOLD!" Drakken exclaimed dramatically, in an attempt to catch her interest when there was no response from her but a blank stare.

"Um...so...did you press it yet?" Shego hazarded.

Drakken nodded eagerly. "YES! Come see!"

Stunned, Shego let herself be lead by the hand back the way they'd come from, towards the observatory and the gigantic monitor.

Drakken pointed to the screen, where an African-American anchor lady in a fetching red jacket was excitedly telling her viewers the news. "Yes, believe it or not, people, the black holes have started shrinking, and scientists from the Middleton Institute of Science and Technology predict that the black holes should be completely gone by tomorrow! I don't know about you, Tom, but _this _anchor will be spending the evening celebrating, that's for certain!"

Drakken picked up a remote control and flipped from channel to channel; everywhere, it was the same, whether it was in English, French, German, Swedish, Spanish, Japanese, Chinese, Arabic or Hindi.

"Do you suppose I should call the press and let them know it was _me_ who saved the world yet again?" Drakken wondered, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully. "Hmmm, or maybe not, because I guess my reputation as a villain would be pretty much unsalvageable if it got out that I've saved the world _twice_, even if I didn't exactly have much of a choice...although it _would_ be a pity to miss getting another medal..."

As she was jolted out of her shock and the full implications of the continued existence of Earth dawned on her, Shego turned as white as a sheet. "Oh no..."

Noticing her distressed expression, Drakken gave her a concerned look, touching her shoulder. "Shego, are you all right?"

There was a sudden, loud growl, before Shego was bathed in green light as her fists flared up. "DRAKKEN!"

The music stopped abruptly, and the scientists and security guards gasped and hurried out of the room, only a couple of the most curious ones staying behind to watch from the doorway.

Drakken gulped, taking a step back; he had no idea why she was suddenly so angry, but it was probably best to keep his distance. "Um...yes, what is it, Shego?"

"So now the world _isn't_ going to end?" She snarled.

"Uh, no...doesn't look like it." Drakken shrugged, shooting her a puzzled look. "Aren't you _happy_?" He added, surprised.

"_Happy_?" Shego shrieked. "You..._you_! I even went to see my _brothers_ because of you! Just because I thought the world was ending! I...I _hugged_ them!" She exclaimed with a helpless grimace, her plasma extinguishing before she buried her face in her hands.

"Well, um...that sounds nice...?" Drakken said uncertainly.

Shego's face snapped up again, provoked, and she pinned him with a deep scowl. "NICE _THIS_!" She thundered, firing off a blast of plasma that barely missed him.

Drakken yelped and took off at a run, Shego following close behind.

* * *

Drakken and Shego were standing bent over, panting loudly, in opposite corners of the observatory.

_Jeez__, this guy can run really fast for a middle-aged, mad scientist,_ Shego thought, annoyed.

"O-okay...okay," Shego gasped. "Time out."

"T-time out," Drakken echoed, nodding in relief and gulping down air.

Shego groaned, running a hand across her face. Ugh! If she hadn't thought the world was ending, she'd never have told him that she— gah, she couldn't even _think_ it now that things were back to normal.

She glanced over at him, peering apprehensively back at her, a hurt and disappointed expression creeping over his face.

"So..._what_? Was that just _it_, then?" He demanded bitterly.

On the _other_ hand, she thought, if she hadn't thought the world was ending, she'd never have told him that she—

—_liked_ him.

Shego sighed; the cat was out of the bag already. Going for the whole denial routine at this point _would_ kind of be a little pathetic. "No...no, that's not 'it'." She admitted reluctantly. "The world's still here, and _we're _still here, so I guess I'm stuck with you."

Drakken brightened. "_Really_?"

"Just...go find me some aspirin or something, okay?" Shego said, rubbing the bridge of her nose, and he nodded, running off.

Shego went over to a chair in the corner and dropped down onto it, leaning her elbows tiredly on the table in front of it.

After a moment, a brunette scientist with glasses came over and timidly offered her a glass of champagne with a sympathetic smile. Shego cringed; after a week of binging, alcohol had lost its appeal to her for a while. "Sorry, lady," Shego muttered. "I don't exactly feel like celebrating, anyway."

The woman shrugged in a 'suit yourself' kind of way and went to join the other scientists, who'd poured back into the room to continue the party now that the danger was apparently over. The music started up again: '_The_ _Looooveshack is a little ol' place where we can get togeth-e-her! Loveshack, ba-a-byyy!'_

Shego groaned and dropped her head onto her arms on the table.

Now that the world was going to go on after all, she was glad she hadn't stopped taking her birth control pills despite the impending doom. There were limits to even end-of-the-world-induced recklessness, she'd decided.

Oh well, she thought, her expression softening slightly as Drakken came running back with a glass of water, some aspirin and a huge, hopeful grin, she'd finally told him how she felt...and the world hadn't ended.

So maybe it could stand a change.

And if he took her away from this geek fest, maybe her headache would clear up so she could consider not kicking his ass for what he'd done.

**End**.

* * *

**Author's notes:** After the recent LHC business (September 10th), how could I resist writing this? XD

I had no beta on this story. Just had a plot bunny I needed to get off my back, so I typed this up and shipped it off.

**Shego's binging:** Reader: _Lyek ZOMG, Ninnik, how could you let Shego overeat and drink like that?_ Ninnik: _The world was going to end. All bets were off, darling._

**Shego likes Drakken:** Yep, 'like'. I am aware of the fact that it sounds slightly juvenile. We all know what she _really_ means, or at least _will_ mean later, once she's sorted out her feelings properly. I'm saving the bigger L-word for a different story. :P

**Drakken's worktop fantasy:** Meh. Everybody has fantasies. Everybody.

**Sex: **Reader: _OMG, Ninnik!__ How could you just let D/S jump into bed together like that?_ Ninnik:_ They were two consenting adults with mutual feelings towards each other, darling._

**Reverse switch****: **Reader: _But Ninnik, you can't simply reverse a black hole at the touch of a button!_ Ninnik: _It's based on a cartoon, darling._

'_**She blinded me with science!**__** And failed me in geometry!':**_ '_Blinded Me With Science_' by Thomas Dolby.

'**The **_**Looooveshack is a little ol' place where we can get togeth-e-her! Loveshack, ba-a-byyy!':**__ 'Loveshack' _by The B-52's.

* * *


	7. Unconventional

**Unc****onventional**

By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Drakken and Shego go to a villain convention and meet some familiar faces. Pointless silliness. Pre-_Grande Size Me_. _Stop Team Go_ has not happened. General/friendship/humor/romance.

**This is the only one-shot that's vaguely connected to another in this collection****, i.e. number 5, **_**Trypanophobia**_**.**

* * *

"Alien or Freak Accident?" Drakken murmured, staring absently across the other side of the large room.

Shego looked up quizzically from her half-finished pasta salad. "_Excuse_ me?"

Drakken cleared his throat, looking like he hadn't even realized he'd said it out loud. "Oh, um…heh, it's just this game I used to play with Eddie when we were kids. Well, before he decided he was too _cool _for comic books, anyway…" He added, scowling.

Shego put her fork down. "And?"

He looked a little embarrassed, suddenly, and tried to cover it by folding his corn dog stain-covered napkin into a smaller and smaller square. "Well, it's…um, every super villain has an origin story, and we made a bet before we got to see the origin story— 'Alien or Freak Accident?' we'd ask the other, and whoever guessed correctly would win."

Shego almost snorted. "And you, what, wanna try the live action version here at the con?"

Drakken flashed her a glare. "No, I just…it was just a slip of the tongue, okay? I'm bored."

"Yeah, well…that makes two of us." Shego muttered, idly stirring her diet soda with her straw. "I don't see why we have to wait around to see this Dr. Gorge whoever—"

"Dr. Gordon Zola!" Drakken corrected her indignantly. "He invented the Cheese Ray!"

Shego shook her head. "Oy…I knew there had to be _some _lame reason why I actually lived in a lair made out of cheese at one point in my life."

"Nnnghh! That would have worked if it hadn't been for those pesky—"

Shego sighed. "Why do you wanna see some crotchety old geezer hold a lecture, anyway? You've probably invented loads more stuff than him."

"But he was a _pioneer_, Shego!" Drakken tried to explain, leaning forward imploringly. "I have to respect that! All right, so maybe the ray could only transform inanimate objects into cheese, but it was nevertheless the very first Transmogrifier ray! You could learn a thing or two from him, Shego. " He insisted. "We have to know our history."

"Whatever." She mumbled, rattling the ice cubes in her paper cup.

There was a pause.

"So…what do you think?" Drakken prompted cautiously, finally getting bored enough to just ask for real.

The rattling stopped. "About what?"

"Alien or Freak Accident?" Drakken whispered in a conspiratorial tone, surreptitiously pointing his thumb at a pale, purple gentleman currently admiring Jack Hench's new line of rocket boots. His head was three sizes larger than that of a normal man, and the fine network of dark purple veins crisscrossing his scalp didn't fail to draw the attention, either.

Shego hesitated, but fought the urge to groan and simply decided to play the stupid game, boredom triumphing over her need to avoid looking lame. "Freak Accident." She answered promptly.

"Alien," he retorted, countering her disbelieving stare with a grumpy look. "Hey, it's not that silly! I mean, we _know_ aliens exist!"

Drakken knew he wasn't always the best at reading subtle signs, but the way Shego tightened her jaw, her eyes narrowing, told him that bringing a certain nine foot tall alien Amazon into the conversation really wouldn't be appreciated.

"Uh…there was that one time I was abducted about two years ago." He said quickly, changing the subject. "That pretty much proves it. I always knew all the stuff about Area 51 was true, you know."

"Fine, so aliens exist. That still doesn't mean they'd actually bother showing up at some stupid Middleton convention. Definitely a freak accident," Shego said, tossing her paper cup and the rest of her salad into the garbage can next to their table. "Now you'll have to excuse me. I have to go powder my nose." She added dryly, wondering why she'd agreed to come to the convention in the first place. It was always so full of nerds and wannabes. She was usually one of the few women there. Not that she'd have mingled much with the other villainesses— she was, she had to admit, antisocial by nature— but it was just the principle of the thing. It just looked…well, lame.

"Don't be long, the lecture starts in five minutes!" Drakken called after her.

"Oh boy, wouldn't wanna miss _that_…" Shego muttered as she stalked towards the door that said _Villainesses_. She utterly failed to be amused by the small, iconic female figure holding a ray gun, her tiny cape fluttering in the wind, or the little speech bubble that proudly proclaimed 'MWAHAHAH!' on the door sign.

Groaning, she pushed open the door.

* * *

Three minutes later, Drakken was still sitting at the table, but now he was nervously tapping his foot and distractedly tearing his napkin into tiny pieces. "Where _are_ you, Shego?" He said through gritted teeth, his eyes darting back and forth across the room, scanning the crowd. "If you're not here within the next _two_ seconds, I'm gonna just go in there without you—"

"Excoose me, but you are Dr. Drakken, are you not?"

Looking up, Drakken saw a goggle-wearing, grey-skinned woman he couldn't remember having seen before, giving him a look of genuine interest.

He frowned as he tried to figure out where he knew her from. "Why? Do I owe you money?"

This seemed to amuse the woman immensely. "Hah hah, you djoker! No, I am merely a fan of yours. My name is Electronique," She told him, reaching out to shake his gloved hand with hers.

"A…a fan?" Drakken blinked, puzzled, as he shook her hand in return. He wasn't used to making women laugh when they weren't trying to mock him. Starting to get intrigued, Drakken studied Electronique a bit closer. What had seemed at first to simply be her hair braided in dreadlocks, were on further inspection a mass of wires; they even gave off tiny sparks. Hmmm. Interesting.

"Djes." Electronique nodded as she dropped his hand, her voice enthusiastic and honeyed. "I especially admire your work in de field of robotics. Your Bebe robots, for instance— I read all about them in preeson. Quite impressive. And not to mention de little Diablos…!"

Drakken immediately brightened. "Oh, _really_?"

"Djes, I—"

"Yo, Dr. D, I guess we better get going if we wanna catch your oh-so-exciting lecture, and— _Electronique_?" Shego's brisk demeanor dropped away as she caught sight of the other woman, surprise and building contempt appearing on her face.

Electronique's voice suddenly turned frosty. "Oh, it's _you_. What are _you_ doink here, leettle miss hero?"

"Uh, yeah, _about_ that…" Shego drawled, not amused. "Noooot exactly in the hero business anymore here. Haven't been for five years, actually, but then you were _never_ very up to date, were you?" She added with a sly grin.

"Right, right, I do seem to remember readink somethink about you in some articles about Dr. Drakken…maybe you were in de _footnotes_," Electronique said pompously.

Shego gritted her teeth. "Rrrgh…"

Drakken blinked. "You two _know_ each other?"

Electronique sent Shego a malicious smirk. "Oh, djes, I still remember de first time I met her." She turned to Drakken. "She was sixteen, a skinny leetle thing with braces, always dyeink her hair all kinds of different colors to look 'cool'. Red, purple, green, blue, yellow— you name it, she has done it. I used to call her Rainbow Girl." She told him, with a small, derisive laugh.

"And we used to call you The Bride of Frankenstein." Shego muttered. "Big deal."

Drakken didn't even notice, an amused grin spreading across his face. "Really? _Shego_?"

Electronique nodded. "And now she is evil— who vould have thought?"

"Oh, yes, everyone was _very_ shocked and disappointed." Shego said sarcastically. "But hey, last time I saw you, you were being carted off to have an indefinite stay at your own special little Tupperware hotel. What happened with _that_?"

An uncomfortable look crossed Electronique's face. "My good-for-nothink ex-husband finally got me out of de plastic preeson cell." She admitted, her voice stiff.

"Awww, how romantic," Shego cooed in a mock-sugary voice. "Now…let's go, Doc, or we're gonna be late for your lecture." She prompted, pulling Drakken up from his chair by his arm.

"Oh, right," Drakken nodded, looking slightly befuddled. "I almost forgot."

Electronique raised her eyebrows at him. "You are holdink a lecture?" She asked hopefully.

Drakken almost blushed at the unfamiliar, honest attention. "Uh, no," he gave an awkward little laugh. "We're going to see Dr. Gordon Zola."

"Oh, Dr. Zola!" Electronique exclaimed, clapping her hands. "He is one of my idols! I was djust goink to that lecture myself!"

Drakken brightened, fascinated. "Really? Want to come with me?"

Electronique nodded eagerly. "I vould be delighted!"

Shego barely managed to keep from gasping with outrage. "Dr. D—"

"Well, that worked out nicely for you, didn't it, Shego?" Drakken told her, with an upward tilt of his chin and just a shade of self-satisfaction. "Now you don't have to go, after all."

Shego growled. "But she's—"

"Just you relax, and I'll be back in about an hour." He beamed.

"And what the heck am _I_ supposed to do while I wait?" Shego huffed, watching them as they left.

* * *

Shego stalked back and forth in front of a small popcorn stand in a corner of the convention center, muttering to herself. She could feel the popcorn vendor giving her strange looks, but she didn't care.

Gah! Electronique! She couldn't believe it! And this after that stupid alien bimbo— what, was that his new hobby now or something? Ditching his sidekick to spend time with creepy dominatrix types with corny accents?

Dr. D could hang out with anybody he liked, and she couldn't care less— but why did it have to be her _old nemesis_, for crying out loud? Electronique was probably only doing it to annoy her, too!

Forget Kim Possible— _Electronique_ had been her worst rival ever! Back in the day, they'd really put the 'cat' in 'cat fight'; a highly skilled and super-powered cat fight.

Electronique had powers, too, and could fight fire with fire, so to speak— and was a heck of a lot more arrogant than the cheerleader brat ever was. She was older, she was a genius, and she knew exactly how to make Shego, especially back then, feel immature, insecure and stupid.

In fact, Shego had learned a lot from Electronique about how to taunt your enemy. Things she'd used on Possible later— taunting her outfits, her looks, her intelligence, her friends…you name it.

Well, if that was the way Dr. D wanted to play it— heck, why should she even bother hanging around here? He had _plenty_ of company already!

Fuming, she began stomping towards the exit— until she remembered that Dr. D had the keys to the hover car.

"Rrrgghh!"

"Got a bee in your bonnet, dear?"

"What?" Shego halted and looked around sharply to see who had dared address her in her angry mood. She was surprised to see a familiar face looking back at her from behind a stand. "Nurse Kerry?"

"Hello, honey." Nurse Kerry smiled at her. "Not many women here, are there?"

"Got that right," Shego grinned as she shook her head, but then her expression darkened again. "Although, in some cases…there are too many."

"Ah. Gotcha. So _that's_ why you're in such a snit." Nurse Kerry nodded, tapping the side of her nose with a finger.

"What makes you think I'm angry?" Shego asked defiantly, knowing she was being childish, but too annoyed to care.

"Just that you're tempting me to bring out the marshmallows, that's all," the nurse said, smiling lopsidedly as she pointed at Shego's hands.

"Oh." Shego said, quickly extinguishing the green flames. She hadn't even realized she'd flared up. "So, what are you doing here, anyway?" She demanded, trying to distract from her own embarrassment.

"It's a new feature, sweetie," Kerry said, shaking her head with a small grin. "They finally figured out that filling an entire convention center up with super villains might require some medical assistance. I'm the upgrade from the hot dog guy handing out band-aids or calling the ambulance."

Shego rolled her eyes. "Why do I even come to these stupid things?"

"The free demonstrations? The lectures? The funnel cakes?" The nurse suggested brightly.

Shego only snorted.

Nurse Kerry thought for a minute. "Hmmm, what about the _Villainess_ stand over there? I've noticed you reading them sometimes while you wait for Dr. Drakken at my office."

Shego's eyes lit up a bit. "Hey, that's not such a bad idea. I could go get some magazines, free of charge— I knew there had to be _some_ reason why I bothered to come here…!"

"I hear they have an article on the latest swim wear for villainesses," Nurse Kerry piped up. "Not my cup of tea, but I talked to the vendor during my lunch break, and she told me—"

But Shego was already on her way to the magazine stand.

Nurse Kerry smiled and shook her head.

* * *

"Hello, Fräulein."

"Oh…Dementor. Hey." Shego responded in a bored tone as she dragged her gaze from a rather interesting article about hair care.

"Do mein eyes deceive me, or are you here alone? Vhere is your…employer?"

She didn't particularly _want_ to talk to Dementor, but she was almost done reading the magazine, and at least it would pass some time. "Meh…apparently, Dr. D met one of his so-called fans, and they skipped off to some lecture, so I'm here enjoying a preview of the latest issue of _Villainess_."

Dementor stared. "Fans? He actually_ haz_ one of those?"

Shego couldn't keep from grinning, if only a little. "Yeah, that's what I thought, too."

Dementor chuckled a bit before he frowned. "Vait, did you say 'lecture'? Zat vould not be the infamous Dr. Zola's lecture, vould it?"

"Yeah, it started like almost forty minutes ago." Shego told him.

"Ach du lieber! Zen I haff MIZZED IT!" Dementor wailed, slapping his forehead; his palm only hit his helmet with a dull 'clank'.

"Too bad," Shego drawled, returning her interest to her magazine.

Dementor rubbed his goatee in thought. "I suppose I could ztill go in, but it iz nearly over, und I do not vish to do ZE DISTURBING OF ZE GREAT DR. ZOLA!"

"Gee," Shego muttered, wincing at his loud trademark bellow. "I can't _imagine_ how _you_ might disturb him…"

"Zo, mein Fräulein…how vould you like to keep me company vhile you vait for ze lecture to finish?" Dementor asked then, his voice going into a mellower vein.

Shego looked up in surprise, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

A small grin turned up on the villain's face. "I could buy you a pretzel vhile ve chat, or we could check out some of ze zights."

Shego peered at him appraisingly for a moment. She wasn't very fond of Dementor, hardly knew the guy, really…but she was bored…and Drakken, who _did_ know Dementor _and_ hated him, wouldn't like his sidekick hanging around with his rival.

Not at all.

She sent Dementor a mischievous grin. "As long as you stop calling me Fräulein, you've got yourself a deal."

* * *

Dementor and Shego ended up going to the same food stand where she'd been with Drakken earlier. This time she had a latte, and Dementor had a basket of fries and a large diet soda.

They also had some free entertainment.

"Look…you've heard people say 'a trained monkey could do this job', right?" Monkey Fist was saying to Jack Hench, just a few yards away.

"Yes?" Hench asked with a touch of impatience that made Shego think that Monkey Fist wasn't the first person to make a dubious business proposition to him that day.

"Well, Mr. Hench, I _have_ those monkeys!" Monkey Fist insisted. "And I can _assure_ you, they are _highly_ trained."

Jack Hench sent him a disbelieving look. "Oh, really? And now I suppose you'll tell me they'll work for peanuts?"

"Of course they won't work for peanuts!" Monkey Fist scoffed. "That's preposterous!"

Hench looked like he didn't want to ask, but did, anyway. "Oh?"

Monkey Fist turned his nose up pompously. "_They'll_ work for _bananas_. The money is for me."

"Yeesh," Shego shook her head. "Some people have just _totally_ lost touch with reality…" She muttered into her coffee cup.

"Oh, yes, zere are quite a few cases of zat in villainy, Fräulein." Dementor sighed. "Ze mind just goes, you know?"

"Yeah, with Monkey Fist it's not exactly hard to tell why, either." Shego remarked sardonically. "Spent too much time hanging around monkeys, too little time actually talking to people."

"Indeed. Zingle-minded villains never do vell." Dementor agreed. "Like Duff Killigan, who is obsessed mit ZE GOLF! Vanted to turn ze entire planet into one big golf course, mit absolutely _no_ zhought to ze environmental consequences. Zey loze track of everything else."

"Schyeah, tell me about it."

"Und vhen your employer Drakken haz been holed up in his lab for zo long that he actually thinks he can take over ze vorld!" Dementor said dismissively, wrinkling his nose. "It's zort of pathetic, really. He is completely delusional. He zhould be glad if he manages to be operating ZE can opener! He zhould not try to take over ze vorld!"

Shego's eyes narrowed. _Oh, and as if __**you**__ don't try and fail at doing the exact same thing on a regular basis?_

Her hands were bunching into fists and she found her mouth twitching as she wanted desperately to retort, but couldn't get any words out. How could this little weasel sit here and say— it was _her_ job to put Dr. D down! Besides, there was a difference between playful mocking and downright badmouthing; what Dementor was saying didn't make her want to laugh.

That, and he still wouldn't stop calling her 'Fräulein'.

"But professor," she settled for, her voice somewhat strained, "how does it make _me_ look if you describe Dr. Drakken like that? I'm working for him, after all."

"Oh, but zat is vhat is so unfazhomable, my dear! You are zo much better zhan him! You zhould be working for someone mit…MORE OF ZE CLASS!"

_Oh,__ lemme guess— like __**you**__?_ Shego thought, her ears ringing faintly from Dementor's screaming. _Gah, I need a distraction_, she thought as she started to feel her fists itch. Okay, so Dr. D wasn't exactly infallible, but this guy was so full of himself it made the Doc look like Miss Modesty 2007.

She could of course just leave, but Drakken still had the keys to the hover car, and she wanted to finish her coffee. Trying to cool down, she took a sip of her latte and pretended she was looking around. And then she saw the perfect distraction. It was a textbook example for the game, too. She just hoped more people knew of it than Drakken and his misogynistic Cousin.

She didn't really know Dementor, so it was the only thing she could think of to say right then.

"Alien or Freak Accident?" Shego asked, pointing at a tiny, green-skinned, pointy-eared man in what looked like a miniature flying saucer. The man was busy trying out Hench's new type of matter displacers. Shego was still convinced that aliens wouldn't just show up at a villain con in Middleton of all places, but _this_ guy..._did_ sorta look like he was from another planet.

Dementor gasped with offence. "Zat is my_ Cousin_, you know! He was in a terrible accident! My aunt was in tearz for a veek! That's really inzenzitive!"

_Oooh, awkweird_, Shego thought, cringing. "Oops? I didn't know—"

"I never liked zat silly game." Dementor groused.

"Look, I'm sorry, I just…um, you haven't been in an accident, have you?" She asked reluctantly.

Dementor gave her a perplexed look. "Vhat do you mean?"

"You know…the helmet?" Shego hazarded, hoping she wasn't going to hit some touchy subject again.

"Oh, ho ho ho, nein, dear Fräulein Shego, ze helmet is zimply so people vill recognize me!" He declared, whipping his helmet off in a smooth, elegant motion.

Shego blinked. To her surprise, what the helmet had covered was in fact a full head of fluffy, shiny chestnut brown hair; the kind of hair that Shego's very expensive hairdresser would have loved to get her hands on.

There wasn't even a whisper of grey or a single split end, it seemed…and it was no wonder, in a dangerous profession like theirs, that he would want to protect great hair like that. For a second, Shego almost considered getting a helmet for herself, too, but decided there was a limit to even her vanity, and that she didn't want to be a copycat. Besides, hair like hers was meant to be seen, not locked up.

"Wow, that is one _great_ head of hair," She told him, honestly impressed. "Who's your hairdresser?"

"Vhy, thank you, Fräulein, but I do my own hair." Dementor beamed, looking self-content as he put his helmet back on. "Every villain needz a trademark or a theme, do they not? Like you mit your color green to match your flamez und skin, right?"

"You're right about that. Some people don't know when to stop, though." Shego went on, shaking her head. "You should've seen some of the theme villains we had back in Go City, sheesh! Talk about taking a theme too far!"

"Oh, yes, my ex-vife told me all about zem!" Dementor said, gesturing uncertainly as he tried to remember. "Birdmen und, und— und I believe zere vaz even a math-themed villain? How zilly!"

"Your ex-wife?" Shego asked curiously.

Dementor gave a delicate cough, looking a bit wretched. "Yes. Elacha Triron."

Shego's smirk was positively wicked. "Oh, _really_? You know, I might have to reconsider your job offer, after all…"

"Wunderschön! Now let us take a round of the convention center und you can zink it over..."

* * *

"Oh, vhat a vonderful lecture!" Electronique declared when they walked out of the lecture hall. "I cannot _believe_ you managed to obtain Dr. Zola's autograph for me!"

"It was nothing," Drakken grinned, eyes shining with highly satisfied geeky hero worship as he clutched his own copy of Dr. Zola's autograph in his hand. He'd waited for this moment since he was in high school, and he had to admit it had been nice to have somebody who respected Dr. Zola as much as him to share the experience with. Shego would have only thought he was being annoyingly nerdy, and he'd have felt embarrassed to gush about his hero in front of her. Just as well that she hadn't joined them, then.

"Vas it not simply _fascinatink_ to hear how he got de idea for de cheese ray?" Electronique went on, looking as enraptured as Drakken.

"Yes!" Drakken agreed, nodding profusely. "I mean, he never published any memoirs, and he's always been so media shy for a villain! I thought I would die when I suddenly heard he'd decided to give a lecture!"

"I know! Me too!" Electronique exclaimed, laughing. "I cannot understand vhy de lecture hall was not completely packed! People should have been linink de aisles!"

"People just don't appreciate their history, that's all," He scoffed.

"_Tell _me about it—" She began, but then came to a stop. "Ooh, look! Test Your Badness Level!" Electronique enthused. "It looks like I have missed a lot vhile I vas in preeson! I did not know they could do that! Ve _have_ to try it!"

Drakken took a step back, laughing nervously. "Oh, aheheh, I think I'll pass if it's all the same to you, but you can try it if you like."

"Djes, of course— vhy on Earth vould Dr. Drakken need to test _that_!" Electronique beamed at him before rushing eagerly up to the machine. To her delight, she got a full score, alarms ringing and red lights blinking. "Woo!" She yelled, punching the air in triumph.

Drakken gaped. "I guess it's a girl thing," he muttered sulkily to himself. "Good for you, Electronique," He said with false brightness, his smile a bit strained as he walked up to her. Praising others was never that easy for a villain to begin with, and especially not when you were jealous of them.

Electronique seemed pleased at the compliment, though. "Please, call me Elacha." She said in a coy tone.

"That's an unusual name," Drakken said politely, his smile turning more genuine.

"Thank you." She purred, running her fingers lightly down his sleeve. "It's Russian."

Drakken gulped. It had been easy to talk to her when they'd been…well, geeking out together, but now she almost seemed to be…flirting, and he had no idea how to deal with that. "Um, yes…uh, my family name is Polish, but I'm third generation," he babbled, grinning uncomfortably. "Did you grow up here in the states or did you move here?"

"I moved here," Electronique told him. "I met my ex-husband on vacation in Germany and folloved him over here to marry him. He is a citizen." She explained grimly, her expression clouding over.

Oh, great, Drakken thought. Now things had gotten awkward again…just a different kind of awkward. He looked around for a distraction, and thankfully, he caught sight of what seemed like a familiar face.

"Hey!" He called, somewhat desperately. "Don't I know you?"

The young man he'd addressed looked up, and immediately turned his bored expression and his slouch to that of attentiveness and a ramrod posture. "Yes, sir! I work for you, sir. In the nurse's office."

"Ah, yes," Drakken squinted at the brown-haired boy. "You're Hench's nephew, right? Benny? Brighton? Bernice?" He asked doubtfully.

"Brandon, sir. Brandon Hench." Brandon said, looking like he wanted to roll his eyes.

"Right, right, whatever," Drakken nodded, and flapped a hand to indicate the convention in general. "What're you doing _here_, anyway?"

"I'm a demonstrator for my uncle," Brandon explained, and added, a little reproachfully: "I need the extra income."

Drakken failed to notice this subtle jab at his less than generous salary. "Oh?" He asked, becoming interested. "Anything good this year?"

Brandon, smelling a potential sale, straightened up again, nodding eagerly. "There's the new and improved Transmogrifier 3000, in honor of Dr. Zola's lecture and the fiftieth anniversary of the invention of the first transmogrifier ray," he said smoothly, giving his best salesman smile. "Care for a demonstration?"

"Oh, djes!" Electronique cut in, beaming. "I cannot _vait_ to see de latest developments in technology! I have been…gone for a vhile, you see," she added with an apologetic smile, demurely patting her crackling hair.

"Dude, you won't regret it, it's like totally awesome!" Brandon gushed, before he remembered what he was doing and quickly reset his brain back to Sales Pitch. "Um, I mean…right, then! Prepare to be dazzled!" Brandon announced, rubbing his hands together. Uncle Jack had told him that when there was a woman involved, the chance of the man buying the item in question was higher.

"Here we go…!" Brandon said with a flourish, sitting down in a shiny, chrome-plated chair that looked vaguely like something you'd find in a salon, and pulling a device over his head that looked like the kind of hairdryers that usually came with salon chairs. The machine hummed to life when Brandon pushed a button.

A flashy light show started up, small sparks flying everywhere, and when it was over, Brandon was indeed a changed man.

Drakken and Electronique gawked. "You turned into a…a _guinea pig_?" Drakken blurted.

"But…but I was supposed to be _Chewbacca_!" Brandon spluttered, his voice a tiny squeak.

Electronique scoffed. "Maybe de vorld of science has not changed all that much since I have been gone."

"Yeah, uh, maybe we'll be back when you've worked out the kinks there, Brandy." Drakken said, leading Electronique away. "And I expect you to be human again when you show up for work on Monday!"

Electronique clucked her tongue. "Good help is alvays so hard to find…!"

"Hey, wait! I could try turning into…into an Ewok instead! I'm _sure_ the machine could handle _that_! How that does that sou— hey, come back here! I'm not done yet! And my name is BRANDON!"

* * *

Drakken was starting to get nervous.

Electronique was flirting again. While it was a refreshing experience to get positive attention from a woman, he'd just met her and wasn't sure what to make of it. It wasn't a situation in which he often found himself.

Also, he'd promised Shego he'd find her right after the lecture, and he knew how cranky she could get when she had to wait. And a promise was a promise.

"You know, I think I have to go find Shego now," Drakken began uncertainly, with a discomfited grin. Electronique had looped her arm through his, and he wasn't used to being…touched. Well, Shego would, sometimes, but that was just Shego, not some stranger who was openly flirting with him.

"Really?" Electronique teased, pouting slightly. "And ve vere having so much fun. Can ve not go somevhere else and talk some more instead?" She suggested, smiling lazily at him. "This convention is starting to bore me."

Drakken laughed awkwardly. "Um, I'm sure we could, but I have the keys to the hover car, and I can't just leave Shego here—"

"Vhy not? She is a big girl, she can take care of herself." Electronique pointed out, her voice dropping in temperature. She was obviously starting to lose her patience.

Drakken gulped. Okay, he seriously needed a distraction until he could find Shego again…

And there it was, sporting a medieval-ish, dark blue outfit, complete with creepy cloak.

Drakken blinked as he watched the red-eyed, fish scale-skinned convention goer munching on a hot dog while thumbing through the latest issue of Villain's Digest.

He had no idea who the guy was, but _there_ was a perfect candidate for 'Alien or Freak Accident' if there ever was one.

"Alien or Freak Accident?" Drakken asked, pointing. Maybe Electronique would appreciate the game.

"_Vhat_ vas that?" Electronique demanded, her voice sharp.

Drakken cleared his throat, starting to feel apprehensive. Elacha was glaring at him. Still, he went on: "I mean, that guy over there…Alien or Freak Accident?"

"I prefer not to play such infantile games." Electronique said coldly, letting go of his arm. "My older sister used to play that. Some…some _simpleton_ with a blonde mullet taught it to her vhile she was on a foreign exchange program to de States. It annoyed me to no end! Such insensitivity for de tragic fates of super villains!"

"Yes, but— _I'm_ a super villain, and _I've_ been in a freak accident, and_ I_ still find it funny," Drakken mumbled.

"Accident, feh! You only turned blue!" Electronique sniffed, tilting her chin up. "Try losing an arm or a leg or turning into some kind of monstrous mutant."

"But…but…all right, I won't play it again." Drakken said sheepishly, suddenly feeling small and childish, which was an awkward sensation when you were a middle-aged man who had several dozen attempts at world domination on your résumé.

Then, he was distracted by the fact that Eletronique was now leaning forward in a friendly manner, slipping off her white goggles. Drakken stared; her eyes were a clear, piercing, electric blue, and slightly hypnotizing.

_Pretty_, he thought, in an absentminded kind of way.

"But let us forget about that stupid game…" She said smoothly. "You know, Drakken, I cannot help but think that Rainbow Girl is a leetle…vell, vouldn't you rather work with someone a leetle older, a leetle more _sophisticated_?" Electronique hinted, her voice practically a purr now.

Drakken snapped out of the mild thrall her eyes had held him in, and he frowned. "Oh, I assure you, Elacha— Shego may be younger than me, but she's by _no_ means a novice."

Electronique blinked, taken aback. "But she has no respect for her superiors, not to mention that terrible temper of hers—"

Drakken squirmed a little; this was getting uncomfortable. What she was saying was true, but somehow it was only okay if _he_ said it; he didn't like anybody else talking about Shego like that. "Uh, look, I'm getting kind of hungry after all the excitement of the show." He interjected, trying to steer the topic away from Shego. "Why don't we go for a cup of coffee and a funnel cake?"

Shoving her goggles back on, Electronique clenched her fists. "I DON'T LIKE FUNNEL CAKES!"

Drakken backed away, startled by the unexpected outburst. Maybe she had some sort of weird villain hang-up about funnel cakes. "Uh…okay? How about a donut?"

"Guten tag, Elacha."

Electronique froze at the sound of the familiar voice, before slowly turning around. When she saw who it was, she slowly removed her goggles again and subjected him to a cool, blue glare. "Hans." She said icily, nodding at him.

Dementor followed suit, removing his helmet and giving a tiny, stiff bow of his head. "Fanzy meeting you here." Dementor told her, sending Drakken a meaningful glance before meeting Electronique's eyes again.

_No wonder he's__ always wearing that stupid helmet_, Drakken thought bitterly as he saw the other man's head uncovered for the first time, and repressed the urge to touch the slightly receding hairline of his own spiky, black hair; Dementor was probably afraid of damaging his hair on the job, the vain, smug little—

"Yes. Fancy that." Electronique echoed, narrowing her eyes at Shego.

The cold front was interrupted by Drakken's offended little growl as he also noticed his sidekick's presence. "Shego? What are you hanging out with _him _for?"

"Because I suddenly found myself without any company." Shego said nonchalantly, shrugging one shoulder. "I wonder why."

"You're consorting with the enemy!" Drakken accused her, pointing a quivering, self-righteous finger at his rival.

"Enemy? Really?" Shego asked, her tone still casual. "'Cause he just offered me a job as his new sidekick."

Drakken's gasp was loud and theatrical and betrayed, and oh, so very satisfying. "You _wouldn't_! You're _my_ sidekick! Mine!"

Shego cocked a challenging eyebrow, meeting his wild gaze coolly. "I wouldn't?"

"Yes, Fräulein Shego would of courze _never_ decline ze offer of a lifetime, Drakken." Dementor said smugly.

"_You_ stay_ out_ of this!" Drakken snapped at Dementor, then rounded on Shego. "Shego? How can you _abandon _me again after what you did last month? How can you—"

"How can you _do_ this to me, Hans?"

Drakken, Shego and Dementor all blinked in surprise and turned to Electronique, who was standing there with her fingers curling threateningly, blue sparks crackling loudly around her.

"She is my rival! My enemy!" Electronique thundered. "How can you offer her a job at your side, and flaunt it in front of _me_, no less?"

"Hah!" Dementor sneered. "Und zo sayz ze woman who is apparently a…a _fan_ of MEIN VORST RIVAL!"

"You left me in jail for _five years_!" Electronique shrieked. "Vhy did you not get me out sooner? Did you only rescue me now so you could _taunt_ me?"

_Oooh, _Drakken thought. _Five years. That's **got to** sting. At least **I** was only in there for—_

"Be grateful I zaved you AT ALL!" Dementor shot back, except louder. "Ve are divorced, und you made it _PERFECTLY CLEAR_ that you NEVER VANTED TO DO ZE ZEEING OF ME AGAIN!"

"I did not _know_ he is your rival!"

"Well, _I_ did not know she is yourz!"

Electronique was about to scream at her ex-husband again, but halted abruptly, drawing a trembling breath as the actual situation dawned on her. "Oh, dahlink, vhy must ve alvays hurt each other so?"

Dementor stared for a second or two before a bright smile spread across his face with realization. "Oh, mein strudel noodle, you _do _care!" Dementor exclaimed happily, rushing towards his ex-wife and embracing her. The height difference should have been an obstacle, but within seconds, the ex-couple were locking lips with practiced ease, and passionately so, pausing only to spout endearments in Russian and German.

Drakken and Shego grimaced at the loud smacking noises that ensued.

Shego gagged. "Morticia and Gomez much?"

"Uh…I think that's our cue to leave." Drakken said weakly, his left eye twitching a bit.

"Right." Shego nodded, flashing him a small grin as she ushered him away. "Buy you another corn dog, Doc?" She offered, feeling unusually generous all of a sudden.

"I don't think I'd be able to keep it down," Drakken mumbled, looking rather pale. Dementor making out with somebody was a sight he could have lived quite happily without ever having to see.

"Maybe we should just call it a day." Shego suggested, and he gave a grateful nod and let her escort him out of the building.

The fresh air seemed to revive him, though, because he immediately started reprimanding her again once they were outside. "First my Cousin Eddie, and now my greatest rival! I can't _believe_ you!"

She only grinned.

"Well, what do you have to _say_ for yourself, Shego?" He pressed, fixing her with his sternest scowl.

Her mouth quirked a bit, but other than that, she didn't reply.

Drakken's anger faltered slightly in the face of her silence. "You're not going to…uh, you didn't actually _want_ to be his sidekick, did you?" He asked apprehensively; the thought hadn't really occurred to him before, not in earnest. He was just so sure she wouldn't— or maybe it was just too awkward to even_ think_ about that possibility. It was _Dementor_, of all people!

Her grin got wider as she suppressed the disturbing urge to giggle.

"Are you mad at me?" Drakken tried again, wringing his hands. " I mean, I know that I…look, I'm sorry, I just— it's not often I have a woman be interested in me, and I just got a little carried away, I suppose. I shouldn't have ignored you like that and— Shego, say something!"

She only tilted her head, watching him with interest as he broke into a cold sweat.

"Why are you _grinning_ at me like that?" He exclaimed, his voice rising in pitch as his nervousness increased. "You're planning to do something horrible to me, aren't you?"

She said nothing as she started walking towards the parking lot, dragging him along by the sleeve of his coat.

He didn't notice her grin soften to a smile as she started up the hover car. He'd been possessive, presumptuous, angry and immature, and she should be annoyed…but the fact was that she'd never felt more appreciated in her life.

They'd be back tomorrow to see a private demonstration by HenchCo, but for now, they could just go home.

**The End.**

* * *

**Author's note:** _No_, she's _not_ planning to seduce him when they get home. :P

I had no beta on this story. I feel like I'm overworking my beta reader enough as it is. XD Here's another surprise fic for ya, Char. ;) This had been sitting in my computer for quite a while, so I finally decided to just finish it.

I had this idea many months ago, and at the time, nobody had published any Electronique/Dementor fics. Now, there _are_ such fics. As usual, I'm too slow to finish and publish my stories. XD

I'm sure I've completely butchered Dementor and Electronique's accents. If so, I'm sorry.

The whole jealousy deal isn't exactly an original concept, but I got the idea of Drakken and Electronique into my head, and I just knew I had to do _something _with it. I've always wanted to write a story about the villain convention. XD

**Alien or Freak A****ccident:** Just something I made up. I have no idea why. Maybe because I saw the convention goers in _Bad Boy_ and thought a lot of them looked like aliens. XD All of the subjects for this game that I've described in this fic appeared in _Bad Boy_ as background characters.

**Dr. ****Gordon Zola:** Named after Gorgonzola cheese. Doy.

**Transmogrifier:** Courtesy of _Calvin and Hobbes_ by Bill Watterson, of course. :D

**Elacha**** Triron:** Yes, believe it or not— those are both _real_ Russian names. I looked up Russian baby names and surnames online, and chose those because together, they sound vaguely like 'electron'. Since I have no idea where Electronique is from, I just went for Russian since she has some kind of clichéd, Eastern European, Russian-like accent.

* * *


	8. Moving

**Moving**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** A short one-shot about being in tune with somebody else. Drakken/Shego. Post-_Graduation _Christmas/New Year's story. Friendship/romance.

* * *

They were going to lay low for at least a year or so, they'd agreed. Just play it cool while they figured out what they wanted to do with their lives from then on.

After barely six months, however, they'd fallen off the wagon, so to speak.

Drakken usually loved Christmas, but by the time December had rolled around, everything got so bright and cheerful and annoying that it must've triggered something with them both.

By some kind of silent consent, they'd just sort of…decided they wanted to regain their villainous reputations. And then, seeing as Christmas was coming up soon…

To Drakken's surprise, Shego had actually agreed that 'ruining Christmas', as silly as it sounded, was an efficient way of showing people that they were still the bad guys. It was direct, she'd said, it made a clear statement. Christmas was, after all, probably the worst time of year for there to be disasters and crime sprees and take over the world ventures. It was the time of year when it would cause people the most stress and grief.

Besides, she'd said, as long as he wasn't going to go nuts and suggest dressing himself up as Santa and her as an elf, she was okay with it. It would be just another job, she'd said, it just happened to be taking place around Christmas, which gave them the opportunity to make it all the more spectacular.

They'd started knocking over banks.

It had just been to get funding for their new project, but the thing was that Drakken had never had superpowers on the job before, and now…Shego had wanted him to tag along.

He'd spent months before testing out his abilities, mainly because he'd been curious, but also because there hadn't been that much else to do.

And so he'd finally been out in the field, so to speak, this Tuesday.

Christmas had come and gone in an intoxicating whirlwind of fabulous chaos and destruction. They'd had such a good time that they'd barely even remembered to sit down to a Christmas dinner, and there had been no presents this year. There hadn't needed to be; they had everything they needed already.

Money, power and _so_ much evil entertainment.

Four successfully robbed banks, three stolen super weapons, two scientifically created natural disasters, three half-destroyed downtown areas and many threats later, the day before New Year's Eve saw them plastered all over the news, still at large, having managed to escape Kim Possible multiple times…and that day also saw Shego actually impressed at how he was keeping up with her, how he'd learned to use his powers.

She was having heaps of fun, he could tell.

Of course, it _had_ been a lot of hard work, lots of preparations and so on, but when they'd been out there, in action…it'd been marvellous.

Now he was watching himself and Shego on the news on the small monitor in the cockpit of his giant battle robot as they flew leisurely across the Pacific, and they looked— the best thing about it was how…_effortless_ it looked, what they were doing. He'd had no idea exactly how…well, _cool_ they'd looked, and he could barely contain the bubbly geekiness simmering inside him, manifesting itself in a huge, tantalized grin and the occasional wickedly happy little squeal or grunt escaping him as he clutched at the remote in evil gratification.

Suddenly, he needed to share the moment.

"SHEGO!" He bellowed, his eyes never leaving the screen. "Come here! Quick! Come see!"

When nothing happened, he looked over his shoulder, frowning impatiently. "SHEEEGOOO!"

Finally, Shego came sauntering into the control room from the back, a diet soda in one hand and a magazine in the other. "Yeesh, I'm coming, okay? I'm here, see?" Shego insisted, a bit snappishly. "Now what's so important?"

As Drakken caught sight of her face, he realized that the reason for her sudden crankiness must have been that he'd interrupted her nap, but he was too excited to care.

"Look! Look!" Drakken exclaimed with glee, extending a quivering finger towards the screen. "It's us!"

Shego grunted with bored annoyance. "So what? We've been on the news all week! What's so great about— oh, are they having a _special _on us?" She blinked, coming closer and standing just behind the pilot seat he was sitting in. "They've never even extended a news broadcast for the Princess…"

Drakken laughed. "I know!"

"Ooh, would ya look at that," Shego murmured as there was a clip of Drakken wrapping his vines around a police helicopter and squeezing its tail end to bits, the pilot bailing out with a panicked scream just as Shego could be seen flashing past the screen, chasing after a bunch of swat team members, scattering them like frightened little animals as she sent burst after burst of plasma at their heels.

Momentarily forgotten, Shego's soda and magazine was dropped down into the other pilot seat next to Drakken's as she leaned forward, propping her elbows up on the back of his seat, completely enraptured.

Drakken felt another jolt of fluttering joy go through him as he caught the lopsided grin that turned up on her face when the screen showed him letting his plant pick her up and launch her at a shocked Kim Possible, who didn't have time to duck before Shego came flying straight at her, feet first.

The whole thing seemed to happen so…so _smoothly_; in one simple, fluid motion.

Drakken knew he had a reputation— probably started by Dementor, he added to himself sulkily— of being something of a bumbling villain, but this proved them all wrong.

This was grace, poise, style, control…everything he'd wanted.

Of course, it probably wouldn't last forever, but nothing did.

And if he lost it, he might even regain it later.

He had, after all, experienced things like this before.

What he remembered the most, what stood out in his mind with the most clarity, was once, four years ago, when they hadn't encountered Kim Possible that many times yet, and still had the kind of enthusiastic fighting spirit and villainous arrogance that ended up slowly morphing to annoyance and lust for vengeance over the years, making moments when they were _both_ optimistic at the same time fewer and farer between.

Back then, they'd been getting away with everything before Possible came along, and Shego hadn't been in the business for long enough to get exasperated with it. Before Possible, they'd seemed to have much more fun.

Of course…before Possible, they'd been less close, too, but that was another story.

Either way, about four years ago, there was that moment…

He'd basically felt like an action hero— no, strike that, action _villain_— for just a moment.

The time they'd gotten away with stealing the world's most powerful laser drill, it had been like something out of a movie.

Shego had been chased by Possible, and had come up at high speed, riding her snow scooter, getting closer and closer to the icy precipice, but then just as she was about to go over, she'd gotten to her feet and made a fantastic leap straight up and forward—

—and he'd caught her just perfectly, hands clasped together tight, holding her by one arm while holding onto the drill suspended from the helicopters with the other, pulling her up with ease.

He wasn't used to being good at physical stunts like that, and it had felt awesome— so had the feeling of being so in tune with his assistant, how synchronized they'd been, how impeccable the timing—

Why, he could almost understand why that teen vigilante brat had become a cheerleader, if _that_ was how it—

Nngh…anyway!

He'd been laughing and she'd been leaning on him, looking every bit as triumphant and smug as him, looking at him as if she was having the time of her life.

For just a moment, he'd felt like he was one half of an unbeatable villain duo.

He'd felt something similar a few times over the years, but until yesterday, it hadn't been the same.

This week, they'd simply been, for lack of a better expression, poetry in motion together. A well-oiled machine, a perfectly synchronized team.

And he wanted to tell her, wanted to express his fascination somehow, and how looking at these clips made him feel, but there were no words. None that wouldn't sound stupid to her, anyway.

But since when was he nervous about telling her his opinions, anyway? What was the worst she could do? Mock him? It wasn't as if she hadn't already thrown every barb and jab imaginable at him already since he'd met her.

The only problem was probably that he'd never…never really told her anything this personal and meaningful before, especially not anything that had to do with the both of them. He usually just told her about his latest plan.

Nothing like this. Because whenever he _did_ get emotional— outside of irritation or anger— she usually got annoyed.

Still, he had to say _something_. He'd never been good at hiding his feelings in general, and he knew he couldn't keep this bottled up forever.

Slowly, he turned his head to look at her, hovering behind him, her attention on the monitor. She seemed interested in what was going on, but he couldn't quite read her expression. Still not knowing what to say, he ended up simply staring at her. His mouth opened and shut a few times, but he couldn't get anything out.

Finally, Shego had apparently had enough of being gawked at.

"_What_?" Her voice was ripe with impatience, brow arching with inquisition.

Drakken hesitated; there was no way he could actually tell her something like— like—

—_The way we move together makes me giddy, _was his first thought—

—and not come across as a complete and utter dork in her opinion.

Heck, even _he_ thought it sounded corny.

"Nothing, just…we're just so _awesome_!" He blurted, immediately becoming embarrassed.

Shego gave him an overbearing look for a second or two before she snorted, and it made him cringe, but when he dared look up again, she was actually just looking quite entertained, a smirk playing on her lips, her gaze glued to the screen as she leaned on the back of his seat.

Their getaway was magnificent— blazing plasma blasts keeping the sidekick and the swat team members at bay, rapidly growing vines trapping Kim Possible, sirens wailing, shouts and random explosions— total mayhem until Shego reached the hover car and did a flip, leaping into the driver's seat and sending the hover car into a flashy loop before she picked up her partner in crime, who managed to snatch the valuable loot right in front of the apparently unstoppable Possible's eyes, once again obstructing her path with his plants— loud, evil laughter reverberating between the buildings as they flew away—

"Yeah, we basically just rock there." Shego said then, letting loose a small chuckle as she gestured at the monitor. "We should totally get a tape of this and watch it on a bigger screen."

As he settled down to watch the rest of the news, Drakken wondered whether she was aware of the fact that she'd started leaning on his shoulder instead of on the chair.

"So, Doc, now that we've successfully ruined Christmas— or kinda, anyway— what are you doing for New Year's Eve?" Shego asked quietly next to his ear, with just a dash of amusement.

Drakken's brow shot up; it seemed she _was _aware.

"Um, well...I haven't actually…" He began hoarsely, then stopped and cleared his throat.

He could feel Shego shifting her weight around a little behind him, then, her shoes scraping against the floor and her fingers fidgeting a bit on his shoulders, almost as if she was anxious to hear the answer.

And suddenly it dawned on him that whatever he was doing, she'd be there.

Of course, Shego would probably try to talk him into spending the day doing something 'less lame' if she wasn't content with his plans, and Kim Possible would probably catch them before New Year's somehow, anyway—

—but Shego would be there.

**End.****

* * *

Author's note:** Sap Crap. Mmm, feel that sappy, crappy goodness!

A happy yuletide to all, and a happy new year.

The narcissism of villainy strikes again.

**Giant battle robot:** The one from _Go Team Go._

**The time they'd gotten away with stealing the world's most powerful laser drill**: From the episode _Bueno Nacho_.

They've just committed theft, breaking and entering, severe property damage, probably kidnapping and who knows what else— but aww, they're gonna spend New Year's Eve together because they luffle each other! How cute! PUPPIES! SUNSHINE! RAINBOWS!

How many post-_Grad_ things can one person write in a lifetime? Make it stop! D:

* * *


	9. Daily Life That Makes Me

**Daily Life That Makes Me**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Drakken and Shego in space! Okay, not really. Set somewhere in season 2, pre-_Rufus VS Commodore Puddles_.

* * *

"I can't sleep," Drakken said, in a tone that suggested that the rest of the world was responsible for this fact and had to fix it. Right away.

Shego promptly ignored this. If she just pretended to be asleep, he'd _have_ to leave her alone.

There was a blessed reprieve of silence, and after about three or four minutes of this, Shego finally dared to shift around a little, trying to find a more comfortable sleeping position on the hard passenger seat of the hover car.

Big mistake.

Immediately, she heard Drakken let out this elated little noise, scooting closer. "So you can't sleep, either, huh, Shego?"

"_No_," Shego pressed out through clenched teeth, "but if ya'd just _shut up_ and actually lemme _try_, I'm _sure _I'd—"

"I'm cold," Drakken said matter-of-factly, interrupting her. "Are _you_ cold, Shego?"

Trying to drown the growl of frustration, Shego sat straight up, glaring at Drakken before kicking the dashboard drawer with her heel. It popped open, and a small pile of maps and magazines tumbled into her lap, illuminated by the tiny lamp just inside the dashboard.

She grabbed a magazine and opened it with a force that nearly tore it. It looked like she'd have to wait until Drakken finally dropped off before she could get any shut-eye herself, so she might as well have something to entertain herself with.

It was either this or tying him up and gagging him, and she just couldn't do that.

They didn't have any rope.

"I'm hungry," Drakken was saying now, and she squelched the long-suffering sigh that badly wanted to escape her. She didn't want him to get annoyed or offended, because then they'd start arguing, and then he'd be so riled up she'd never get any sleep.

"Are there any Twinkies left?" He asked hopefully.

"No," she lied hastily. The thought of Drakken hyped up on sugar at three am made her want to break something. "Have some gum," she continued, hoping that'd make him settle down a bit.

Grumbling, Drakken snatched the stick of gum she was offering, unwrapping and chewing it in a way that vaguely reminded Shego of how the monsters in the old, black-and-white, Japanese creature features she'd watched as a kid would devour the fleeing citizens.

That always used to make her laugh.

Quickly growing bored with the gum, Drakken glanced over at her, sporting a sulky look at the lack of entertainment. "I don't even know why you bother _reading_ those things," he remarked, obviously trying to provoke her into an argument, "I mean, it's all about— about _nails _and _hair _and _make-up_ and stupid _fashion_ that changes every five minutes, so it's completely futile trying to keep up with it, anyway— it's just so meaningless! It doesn't challenge the intellect at all, it just tries to _decide_ _for_ _you_ how you're supposed to _look_!"

Shego made a non-committal grunt, refusing to get offended. "Eh, sometimes I like meaningless stuff," she said, before adding, with a sweeping hand gesture at the night sky and a shrug: "Pretty decent at keeping your mind offa the fact that we're all basically living on a rock in the middle of some cold, empty nowhere, anyway, with, like, nooo idea what the meaning of it all is or how we even _got_ here."

Despite how Drakken had seemed eager to rant on, he didn't comment, and when she finally looked up from her magazine and over at him, he was staring wide-eyed up at the dark, sporadically starry sky as if he was expecting it to suck him up into nowhere at any given second.

Somewhere, an owl chose this moment to let out an eerie hoot, and Shego watched Drakken cringe, his paranoid eyes searching the general direction of the sound.

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smirk, too. Scaring people could be pretty amusing, especially now that it hadn't even been her intention. But whatever— served him right for not letting her sleep, and for talking smack about fashion; a subject he didn't have the first _clue_ about.

"Oh, _why_ did you have to go and _say_ that, Shego?" He lamented in a reedy voice. "Now I'll _never_ be able to sleep!"

Shego snorted. "If it's not one thing, it's the other."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Drakken's tone was suspicious.

"Oh, nothing," Shego drawled, flipping over a page in her magazine, "just that I'm glad I don't hafta share my sleeping quarters with you on a regular basis." She knew it would irk him, but simply couldn't help herself anymore.

"And here she comes with the lip!" Drakken barked. "I was just _waiting_ for it! I _told_ you it's not _my_ fault we crashed the hover car in the middle of the sticks! It was that blasted cheerleader and her— hey, wait a minute!" Drakken suddenly brightened. "I'm a super genius scientist! I don't _have_ to be afraid of the unknown! I could just build the most advanced spaceship in the history of mankind and go out into space and _explore_ it!"

Shego blinked. "What?"

But his enthusiasm simply continued to escalate. "Think of what we'd _see_, Shego! Think about everything we'd get to know before everyone else! Think about all the alien technology we could steal!"

Shego paled. "_We_?"

Drakken nodded, oblivious to her horrified expression. "Well, _sure_! I mean, no one in their _right_ _mind_ would go into space _alone_!"

"That'd sure make _you_ a prime candidate for a solo expedition, Doc," Shego sniped, scowling at him.

Drakken huffed. "Shego!"

"Yeah, uh, not that I wouldn't _love_ spending an uncertain amount of time cooped up with you in a sardine can out in space with no means of escape and no chance for a decent meal or a shower just so you _might_ not develop insomnia over existentialism, Dr. D," Shego said dryly, pointing her thumb towards the stars, "but aren't we forgetting one _teensy_ little detail here?"

"_What_?" Drakken snapped.

"What if somebody _else_ takes over Earth while we're all busy sniffing the dubious armpits of space?" She reminded him, challenging.

Drakken opened his mouth to object, but closed it again just as fast, a discomfited, contemplative look crossing his features. That jumbo-sized imagination of his was clearly doing its job— and far too well for his liking, too.

Sometimes she wondered what it was like to have a mind like his, but mostly she was just glad it wasn't her, even when he not only dreamed up, but put to life things that really shouldn't be possible.

Mostly.

Still, after working for him for going on three years now, she was, whether she wanted to concede to it or not, starting to see it as something of her duty to prevent him from following through with the most reckless of his weird, weird ideas.

Fortunately for her, exactly _because_ he had a big imagination, he was easy to distract.

"I dunno about _you_, Dr. D," Shego prodded innocently, "but I'd be pretty bummed out if we got back and the world was one giant golf course or, say, Dementor's oh-so-charming mug was suddenly on the dollar bill…"

Drakken let slip a wretched groan; she could practically _hear_ his brow crinkling with a frown and his lips pursing. Then, however, he straightened, his face lighting up. "Ahah! But what if we explore space _after_ I've taken over the world?" He suggested, triumphant and somewhat smug.

She gave him a flat look. "Oh, yeah, because _nobody_ would take the opportunity to end your evil reign while you and your sidekick were conveniently far, _far _away from Earth, right?"

Drakken slumped, moping. "Well, I _could_ just leave somebody to, you know, keep it all in check for me while I was gone, couldn't I?"

Shego scoffed. "Who, the henchmen? Besides…you never know, we might even drop into a black hole or something and never return at all," she went on slyly.

Again, Drakken's imagination seemed to be working overtime as he paled at the mental picture she'd painted for him, which, Shego had to admit, sounded slightly creepy even to _her_.

For a second, her gaze flickered up to the endless void; but only for a second.

"Fine, give me one of those stupid magazines," he said eventually, sounding annoyed and grudgingly resigned. "And _quit_ hogging the emergency blanket," he added, just for good measure.

Shego grinned, but decided against making any mocking remarks. Knowing him, they would've only gotten into another argument.

And then _somehow_, she'd have ended up drinking Tang and going to the bathroom in a bag after all.

She just knew it.

**End****.

* * *

****Author's note:** Just some random idea I had at 6 am, as one does, and wrote it right away to kill the damn plot bunny. Sometimes the enormity of the universe can be a pretty disturbing thought.

Luckily, we have mundane things like work, studying and doing laundry to make us forget. :P

No beta on this one. Fire away.

**Daily Life That Makes Me: **Title taken from the lyrics to the song 'Sparks' by the Norwegian band Røyksopp. I recommend them.

**Tang: **A sweet and tangy, orange-flavored, non-carbonated soft drink from the US. The original orange-flavored Tang was formulated by William A. Mitchell for General Foods Corporation in 1957 and first marketed (in powdered form) in 1959.

It was initially intended as a breakfast drink, but sales were poor until NASA began using it on Gemini flights in 1965 (researched at Natick Soldier Systems Center), which was heavily advertised. Since that time, it has been associated with the U.S. manned spaceflight program, so much so that an urban legend emerged that Tang was invented for the space program.

* * *


	10. Be Cool

**Be Cool**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Short and pointless pre-series Drakken and Shego. Just an extra long drabble posing as a real story for tax purposes.

* * *

It was a Friday, which meant the end of the ordinary work week.

Well, as close to ordinary as the end of the work week could be at the secret, evil lair of a mad scientist super villain, anyway.

"All right, minions!" Drakken shouted brightly, clapping his hands together with a huge grin. "It's time for a water cooler break!"

"Good," Shego muttered, putting down the heavy doomsday weapon part she'd been schlepping across the floor towards the lab area, "I'm _parched_…!"

As she walked towards her new employer, she couldn't help but overhear a couple of the henchmen.

One of them elbowed the other. "Since when do we have a _water cooler_, Bob?"

The other shook his head. "Since when do we have _breaks, _Clarence?"

Shego frowned at the exchange, but it quickly escaped her attention when she realized exactly what Dr. Drakken had just said. "_Minions_?" She mouthed to herself, her frown deepening.

She was about to object to this when her new boss shoved a paper cup into her hand, grinned a little stiffly at her and proceeded to ask her something that completely threw her off balance.

"Lovely weather today, isn't it, Miss Shego?" He prompted, oozing cheerfulness.

Glancing from the mad scientist to the windowless walls of the lab, which definitely didn't offer her any clue about the state of the weather, Shego didn't quite know how to respond. "Uh…sure?" She said slowly, taking a distracted sip of water.

Following her gaze, Drakken seemed to realize his mistake and cleared his throat loudly. "Well, um, I'm sure you can see what it's like outside later, if you check the security monitors— anyway! Hey, um, you!" He broke himself off, turning to one of the henchmen. "Um, uh—" He snapped his fingers, his expression turning a bit frantic.

"Clarence, boss," the henchman replied.

"Right!" Drakken blurted, relieved. "Clarence! Did you watch the game last night, Clarence?"

Clarence looked to Bob for assistance, but only found Bob looking just as floored. "Which game was that, boss? The hockey or the football?"

Drakken hesitated; he hadn't really anticipated the follow-up question. "The…the football?"

"Then, no…I didn't, boss," Clarence said, shrugging.

Drakken floundered. "Did I say football? I meant hockey!" He exclaimed, starting to sound slightly desperate.

"Well, in that case, yeah," Clarence nodded.

"So, um…who won?" Drakken wondered. That seemed like safe enough of a question.

"The Komodo Dragons, sir."

Drakken's brow wrinkled. "They let live komodo dragons out on the ice with the _players_? And how do they even teach them how to _skate_?"

Clarence looked like he was beginning to consider a hasty retreat. "Uh…"

Drakken, sensing he was slipping, fished in his pocket for his notes and made another attempt. "Did anybody, um, you know, knock it out of the park?"

"That's…that's baseball, doctor," Shego told him carefully. The comment about skating komodo dragons already had her questioning her new employer's sanity, and she didn't want to provoke him any further.

Drakken froze, glancing at the scrap of paper in his hand and then back at his sidekick. "You sure?"

Henchman Bob solemnly confirmed this, nodding. "It's baseball, sir."

"Oh," Drakken mumbled. Consulting his notes again, he found nothing useful, and went with the only thing he could think of: "Well! Anybody for some more water? Miss Shego?"

He was just about to refill her cup when his new sidekick poked his arm. "Uh…Dr. Drakken?"

Drakken turned around, trying to look amiable. "Yes, Miss Shego?"

Shego arched an eyebrow. "Not to sound rude or anything, but…what the heck are you _doing_?"

This was backed up by a general mumble among the henchmen. "Yeah, what's going on, huh, boss?"

The disbelieving expression on his new sidekick's face finally sinking in with him, Drakken took an apprehensive glance behind her and noticed that his henchmen were looking at him in much the same way, even if they weren't conveying the emotion quite as efficiently as Miss Shego. "What do you mean?" He asked with a certain reluctance, not liking the abrupt and unfamiliar embarrassment that was starting to itch at the back of his neck.

Shego's hands came to rest on her hips. "I mean, what's with the random Mr. Rogers routine?"

Drakken glared, the embarrassment melting away under the indignation, and the piece of paper crumpling to a ball in his fist. "Miss Shego! I'll have you know that _Villains Weekly_ says small talk in the workplace builds a bond between an employer and their employees!" Drakken declared, puffing his chest up. "It says it's necessary for morale!" He was also doing it because he'd never had a sidekick before and didn't exactly know how to behave around her yet; didn't exactly know which ratio between bossy and friendly would ensure her obedience and loyalty.

He'd decided to leave that part out, though. It just wouldn't do to seem wet behind the ears.

"Dr. Drakken, you— yeesh!" Quickly interrupting herself, Shego threw her hands up, and her face took on that looks-like-I-have-to-cut-right-to-the-chase sort of expression that he'd noticed she'd been wearing more and more often as her first week of work had progressed. "It's not like we're gonna pledge our eternal allegiance to you just because you nag us about sports and the weather, is it? Look, it's so obvious you have no idea what you're doing, and you're just freaking us out, so give it a rest, okay?"

Drakken glanced at her, partly offended, but mostly hopeful. "So you mean I _don't_ have to make an effort to have small talk with you?"

Shego smacked her forehead. "No!"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Drakken exhaled, making a gesture as if he was wiping his brow. "Okay, everyone," he went on, reverting to the no-nonsense, brisk, commandeering manner he normally used around the henchmen, "back to work now, chop chop! Time is money and all that!"

Shego rolled her eyes. Who actually listened to those silly magazines? She was all on board with taking a few fashion pointers— but a 'how to' guide on socializing? What kinda weirdo needed _that_?

Oh well…at least he didn't seem to suffer from multiple personality disorder after all, like she'd initially suspected when he'd started this whole awkward parody of a friendly workplace out of the blue— after having first spent Monday through Thursday playing the endearing part of Dr. Bossy McRanty-Bellows.

She had to wonder about her standards when not being a schizophrenic wasn't simply a given, but actually considered a _plus_ in an employer— then again, it _was_ a very dodgy business. For all she knew, she could've ended up with somebody who threatened their minions with a quick dip in an acid-filled Jacuzzi or something to get their will. In short, having a boss who shot the breeze with their employees was better than having one who just shot their employees.

Still…she needed to nip this in the bud. She'd never had the patience for pointless small talk.

"Now come along so I can tell you more about what we need for my plan, Miss Shego," Drakken said, tossing his notes in a nearby waste basket, turning on his heel and taking off towards his study.

But Shego didn't follow. "I prefer banter."

Drakken came to a screeching halt. "Banter?" He asked as he turned around reluctantly, watching her where she was leaning nonchalantly on the water cooler.

Shego shrugged one shoulder, flashing a grin. "You know, a little light teasing repartee?"

Drakken frowned, growing irked. "Yes, yes, I do _know_ what— I just don't see why we should—"

"It's either that or back to the water cooler adventures," she said matter-of-factly, patting the top of the water cooler like it was the head of a good dog. The water cooler emitted some vaguely unpleasant sounds at this, like 'glonk, gloi-onk'.

He stared at her for a second before sighing as he rubbed at his temples. "Fine, whatever…!" Anything was better than small talk, and if this would help him relate to his new sidekick, then so be it. "But not on Monday mornings!" He added sternly, feeling the need to remind her who was boss.

She smirked. "Deal."

**The ****End.

* * *

**

**Author's notes:** Not something I imagine would've ever actually taken place. Just me having some fun before I have to keep studying.

**Komodo Dragons:** I have no idea. I just made something up. Komodos are creepy.

**In short, having a boss who shot the breeze with their employees was better than having one who just shot their employees:** Yeah, I'm aware how lame this pun is. But how can I resist having a lame pun in a KP story?


	11. More Obscure

**More Obscure**

By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** Well, it had to come up sooner or later…right? Pre-_Odds Man In_, season four. Adult subjects, but hardly detailed enough for an M-rating.

* * *

Drakken was grumbling to himself when he got home.

Two whole hours to get there and back, and a whole hour spent trying to convince his informant to help him gain access to the Atmosfreezer— and he had nothing to show for it!

People just didn't want to accept an honest bribe anymore! What _was _the world coming to? Now he'd have to figure out some other way to get it, which would take who _knew_ how much time— and he'd been hoping to put the plan into motion tomorrow!

And worse yet, he'd have to tell Shego, and he could just _imagine_ her eye roll already.

Walking down the long, wide hallway that held both their rooms, Drakken headed for Shego's door and was about to knock when he heard some sounds he'd never heard from her room before.

_These_ sounds vaguely reminded him of the sounds in that movie he'd caught about three seconds of once when, as a young teenager, he'd been told to go downstairs and play with his Cousin Eddie in the den when they were visiting his aunt.

Or maybe the sounds in that disturbing internet video he'd stumbled across a few weeks ago. First and last time _he_ ever searched for 'doomsday', anyway!

Well, Shego could watch smut on her own time! Right now it was time for their pre-scheme conference! Okay, so he was back early, and it wasn't _quite_ that time yet, but _still_! He'd wasted _enough_ time today _already_, and—

There was another noise from inside, then, except it wasn't from the TV this time. It was from Shego. It was Shego's voice.

A moan. Then another one, followed by a groan.

What was she doing, was she in pain— what was she—

Oh.

_Oh_.

Right.

He could feel the acute discomfort start at his toes and move upwards like an inevitable tidal wave; hot and prickly. Okay, no knocking on the door. Only turning around and walking away. Only letting her have her privacy.

Just as he was about to leave, however, the volume increased, her noises becoming more excited and— and _needy_, if such a word could even be_ applied_ to Shego—

He stared at the door, the little hairs at the back of his neck standing on end, his fingers twitching, his mouth agape. Only then did it even occur to him that she might not be alone. Some alien, dark grey thing twisted and curled in his gut at the thought.

He tried to ignore it as he stood there, listening; after a moment, he discovered that she had to be alone after all— unless her partner was Marcel Marceau— and the thing in his stomach let go— but then he realized he was _standing outside her door _and_ listening to her_—

He scurried down the hallway as quickly and soundlessly as he could, head down, teeth gritted and face hot. He'd just hide in his room for the rest of the night until he could wipe away the shocked and guilty expression. That sounded like a good plan.

His body was of quite a different opinion, though.

He winced as his stomach growled.

Loudly.

* * *

He'd only intended to slip into the kitchen, grab a quick snack and be tucked away safely in his room within five minutes, tops, and he was _almost_ done, _almost_ ready to leave when she walked in.

Her cheeks were flushed, she was moving at a relaxed saunter and her mouth was quirked in a tiny smile.

When she saw him, her eyebrows lifted in slight surprise, but then she only shrugged, walked up to the fridge and got herself a bottle of water. "You're back early," she commented casually, uncorking the bottle and taking a long swig. "I thought you said you'd be gone until at least seven."

"We couldn't come to an agreement," he muttered, ducking his head as he stuffed the last bit of sandwich into his mouth.

She snorted delicately. "Meaning your last check bounced?"

His answer was just a vexed grunt as he gulped down the dregs of his orange juice and dropped the glass in the sink.

"How long have you been back, anyway?" Shego asked, and there was a minuscule but nevertheless present note of apprehension in her otherwise laidback voice as she put the bottle back in the fridge.

'Long enough,' he almost blurted out, but managed to keep quiet. When she turned around and gave him an odd look, he realized he still hadn't answered her, and was simply staring at her.

"What?" She asked impatiently, and he wondered what his expression had to be like. He could feel his face growing hot, and watched her look turn even more quizzical.

"Nothing," he mumbled, face practically ablaze. He was sure he was purple by now.

"_What_?" She repeated, voice sharpening considerably.

All of a sudden, he began to get angry under her suspicious scrutiny, embarrassment morphing into defensiveness. "Nothing! It's none of my business what you do in your spare time in your own room!" He shouted, hardly even realizing what he was saying.

She froze as it hit her exactly what was up with him, and the nice, warm, boneless afterglow fled her instantly. It was as if somebody had dumped a bucket of ice cubes down the back of her shirt. "Were you— were you _spying_ on me?" She managed to press out, trying to regain her composure even as her whole body felt stiff.

Drakken gawked in outrage. "Me? _Spying_? Don't be ridiculous! So now I can't walk down the hallway of my own home without being accused of— and it's not as if I needed to spy to know what you were doing! You were certainly making enough _noise_!" He barked, lashing out in the face of his own shame. He knew he was objecting a little too loudly, and hoped she wouldn't pick up on it. He hadn't been _spying_, exactly, but if she ever found out he'd hovered outside her door like that— but it was _his_ lair, wasn't it? He could stand around in his _own_ hallway, couldn't he?

As he watched what little color her face had drain away, leaving her paler than ever for a moment before her cheeks abruptly flushed, he knew he'd said something very stupid.

"You _said_ you were gonna be gone until _seven_!" Shego snapped, jaw tightening. So he'd _heard_ her, he really _had_ heard her— "I didn't think anybody was _home_, okay?"

"This is a workplace, Shego!" He reminded her strictly, scrambling for familiar ground. "We're not the only ones around here, and besides, you _know_ how people have such annoying habits of getting past security— what if my mother or Kim Possible had—"

She groaned, burying her face in her hands for a second before she looked up again with a scowl. "Look! I don't _usually_—I grew up with a big family, so don't you think I _know_ how to be _quiet_?"

His throat went dry as this bit of news sunk in with him. "_Usually_? You mean you— you do this when I'm home, too? And I don't know about it?"

"Next time I'll send out a _memo_!" She snarled, uneasy under his astonished stare and growing offended. Everybody did it, but he was acting like he _never_— "You were right from the start, Doc— what I do in my spare time in my own room is none of your business!" She added, taking care to remind him of the severe line he was not only overstepping, but practically _clog dancing_ across.

"Well! Then maybe you can try not _making_ it my business by being so _loud_!" He sniped back at her, indignant and trying to shift his focus from the strange hot and cold spells going up and down his back.

She threw her hands up. "I don't even know why we're _having_ this conversation!"

"Don't look at _me_!" Drakken objected, gesturing at himself. "I was trying to pretend nothing happened, but you just _had_ to—"

"Well, what did you _expect_ me to do?" Shego challenged, gesturing at him, too, now; though hers was more accusing. "You were acting all _weird_!" She'd never seen him like that, all flustered and clammed up, refusing to look at her, face like a boiled beet— never.

Again, his face went purple. "Wh-what— I just— it was _embarrassing_, okay?" He stuttered. "I didn't want to hear _that_!"

She felt her fists clench as he looked at him; he looked like a kid who'd just been told to finish his spinach. So she'd had a little afternoon relaxation, so what? Did he have to make such a big _deal_ out of it? Did he have to look like_ that_ when referring to it? Like he thought it was— what, _distasteful_? Or was he really just that uncomfortable? Either way, she wasn't going to stand for it— as if it wasn't more embarrassing for _her_, anyway!

"Oh, and what— you're Mr. Prissy Pants now, huh?" She spat, shaking her head. "Always sleeping with both hands above the covers? Like you never—"

Oh, great! Just when he'd thought this conversation couldn't _possibly_ become any more embarrassing! Drakken's eyes were wide as saucers now, and his answer came out in a defensive babble. "I'm too _busy_ to think about— and if I did, I wouldn't be so _loud_ and I wouldn't— while somebody was _home_—"

"Listen, with our jobs, it's not always that easy to find the right time and place!" She pointed out bluntly, interrupting him. "I'm a woman and I have needs, Dr. D, and I don't always feel like going to the trouble of dating some guy to—" She cut herself off, then, scowling at him. "Okay, you know what? _Again_, I _really_ don't know why we're even _having_ this conversation!"

"Fine! Me neither!" He retorted waspishly.

"Whatever!" She shot back, and then they stomped off in opposite directions.

When Drakken had closed the door of his room behind him, he found himself flushed, warm and slightly damp with perspiration. Irritably clawing at his tight collar, he pulled his lab coat off and chucked it on the floor before he peeled off his gloves.

When had it become this hot? Had they said anything about this on the weather forecast today?

Slumping down on the edge of his bed, he pulled his boot off. It wasn't until five minutes later that he realized he was just sitting there, one boot still in his hand and the other still on his foot, simply gazing into space as thought after vivid thought assaulted him.

Why didn't he _always_ have this good a memory, he wondered in annoyance.

As he leaned down to pull off his other boot, he happened to glance down at his pants.

Oh.

He hadn't really thought about— he hadn't done— when was the last—

Maybe he should just take a cold shower. That should do the trick.

Getting up, he went to fetch a towel from his dresser, but another five minutes later, he still hadn't made it to the shower.

Sometimes even while he was home, he thought, while he was home, just a few doors down, all quiet…

He really shouldn't be doing this, he thought, not while _that _was on his mind.

He really shouldn't.

* * *

Shego was idly contemplating what to have for dinner— trying to resist the impulses brought forth by her foul mood, which was urging her to pig out— and just avoiding Drakken in general when she realized she'd have to go talk to him.

Because he still hadn't given her a heads up about what their work schedule would be for the rest of the week, and if there was one thing she hated, it was being woken up at all kinds of unnatural hours of the day because he suddenly needed her assistance or having to cancel spa appointments or workout sessions because he hadn't been able to make up his mind about what kind of evil he wanted to do and when he wanted to do it.

With the exception of her brothers or the cheerleader, Drakken was basically the last person she wanted to see right then, for reasons that were more obvious than usual.

She'd always been worried something like this might happen. Sure, it was a big lair, but they were still living in the same 'house', for lack of a better word, and she'd always known it'd only been a matter of time before—

Well, so far, neither of them had walked in on the other person in the shower or anything like that, which was probably because they each had private bathrooms, but still, she'd known that sooner or later— and now it had happened. She'd just never really thought _she'd_ be the first victim of Murphy's Law in this case. She'd always imagined it'd be Drakken accidentally dropping his pants or something— not _this_, anyway. She'd have even preferred him walking in on her on the _toilet_ instead of this, for Pete's sake!

What had he _heard_, anyway, she wondered, cringing, what had she _sounded_ like—

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. It wasn't as if it mattered. No need to torture herself. He'd _heard_ her, and it wouldn't make him _un-hear_ her if she tried to remember what she'd sounded like.

And if she wanted to work, she needed to talk to him.

So it was with a disgusted sigh that she chucked the bag of frozen fries back into the freezer and stalked off to his room, pounding her fist on the door, hard.

There was a muffled curse from inside, followed by the sound of something falling over.

"Wh-what? I'm busy! Go away!" Drakken yelled.

Shego crossed her arms over her chest, unrelenting. "Okay, but if you want me to be a part of your plan, you better tell me what we'll be doing or I'm just gonna take the rest of the week off! You know I don't like short notices, so I'm not gonna come running tomorrow if you suddenly need my help!"

There was a loud clatter from behind the door, a few annoyed grunts, some hard, thumping footsteps, and then Drakken poked his head out of the doorway. "We'll be going ahead with everything as scheduled, okay, Shego?" Drakken gritted out, glaring. "I'll manage to get the Atmosfreezer _somehow_, so you can just— what?"

"Uh…" Shego's eyebrows were practically touching her hairline as she took in the sight of Drakken's messy hair, flushed, sweaty face and crooked bathrobe; not to mention the way he seemed to be unwilling to open the door more than a small crack.

Drakken's glare subsided a bit, only to be replaced by an almost nervous look. "_What_?"

She cleared her throat. "…what were you _doing_, Dr. D?"

He halted, eyes widening, and the pause made the atmosphere go up a few notches in awkwardness.

His face flushed violently. "Getting…ready for bed," he supplied, frowning. "I was just about to hit the shower," he added, giving one of the lapels of his bathrobe a short tug, as if holding it up as evidence.

Oh, he was lying all right, Shego thought. Through his _teeth_.

Blinking, Shego tried not to consider the implications of the _timing_ of it all— that he'd been doing _that_ now, just after they'd had _that _conversation—

It was too much to think about, really, because then she might also happen to think about what _he'd_ been thinking about when he'd— and _how_ and _what_ he'd—

There was a dizzy, practically _otherworldly_ moment where she could almost, _almost_ see herself reaching out for his red, flustered face, but it passed just as quickly, and she shook her head at herself, not even wanting to know where it had come from.

Luckily she didn't really _need_ to think about where it'd come from, anyway, because there was the perfect distraction.

"Getting ready for bed?" She asked dryly. "At _six thirty_?"

He flushed, if possible, even redder. "Well, it's been a _long_ day…!"

Yep, the tables had certainly turned now.

She shook her head, smirking a bit. "So…you'd _never_ do it when somebody else was home, huh, Dr. D?"

He snapped for air, scandalized. "Wha— you—"

"Whatever," Shego said breezily, turning on her heel. "I'll just leave you to your…_work_. See you in the morning."

Drakken spluttered, closing the robe tighter around his neck and scowling at her back, absolutely mortified.

He was just about to close the door when Shego tossed him a playful look across her shoulder.

"Hey, look at the bright side, Doc— at least you weren't _loud_," she purred evilly.

"No vacation bonus for _you_, Shego!" He declared, slamming the door.

"G'night, Doc," she said, chuckling to herself as she went.

Back inside his room, Drakken let out an explosive sigh as he sat down on the bed again. There was simply _no_ way he was finishing this now.

Why, he wasn't even in the mood anymore! Not after having been mocked like that!

His body was of quite a different opinion, though.

**The End.

* * *

**

**Author's notes: **Probably one of the quickest KP stories I've ever written. I'll let you decide whether that's a good thing or not.

Eh, I just figured…what with them living together for all those years, who knows?

Hah, re-watching an episode or two of the show, I'm just shaking my head at myself for writing stories about their _sex lives_— these people are _ridiculous_! What was I _thinking_? XD Ah well, the world of fanfics often causes temporary or prolonged insanity in its visitors, it seems. :P Kekeke…

**No beta. Nitpick away, kids. **

**More Obscure: **Named after the song _More Obscure_ by the Norwegian band Dipsomaniacs. Mostly because I just couldn't think of a title, but also because it seemed vaguely fitting somehow.

**Shego's porn:** Most of the porn I've seen has been pretty boring, lame, uninspired and of a poor quality in general. I'm guessing when you're a rich, world-travelling criminal, however, you can probably get your hands on some quality stuff. :P Not saying she sits around watching porn all the time, or even has a lot of it, just saying she might have a DVD or two (in the fan fiction world, of course).

'**Doomsday': **If you wanna know, go look it up. And no, I've never actually seen such a video, I just needed some word that Drakken might look up that'd be pretty innocent but could also plausibly send him to a not-that-nice porn video.I hadn't even heard of the expression until I went looking for words.

**Marcel Marceau:** World-famous French mime. I totally stole this joke from one of my favorite movies ever, _Frankie and Johnny_. "Marcel Marceau comes louder than this guy." :P

**Drakken's check bouncing:** Very likely indeed, considering the financial trouble he had in _Odds Man In_.

* * *


End file.
